


richie does not eat dog poop

by toes-ier (snowglobegays)



Series: losers in 2017 [1]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King, Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Drug Use, F/M, Fluff, Georgie is ALIVE, Group chat, Humor, M/M, Marijuana, Recreational Drug Use, Sickfic, Texting, ben gets mad at nigh, don't let the bill/mike weird u out bls, everyone loves richie, in ch 3, pennywise happened tho, please look up big dad ritch, richie loves 1d, they are juniors, wow aother gc fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-01-16 07:26:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 54,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12338184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowglobegays/pseuds/toes-ier
Summary: 4 ambig dad ritch- EAT ASS GET RICHeight nights at eddies- I don’t pay you.flat stanley- I'm gouging my eyes out rnbenjamin button- why the FUCK are you guys awake if i hear my phone go off One More Time im committing murder10 ambig dad ritch- i dont feel safe in this gc





	1. no homo

**Author's Note:**

> i know there are a lot of group chat fics in this fandom but i love them all and the more the merrier right?? (there are SO MANY HOLY CRAP but im subscribed 2 all of them so :) )
> 
> texts and group chat names are largely based on texts i have sent/received and the names of groupchats i am in. i get inspiration from posts i see elsewhere too. 
> 
> there's going to be humor but to be Realistic i'm gonna toss in some angst and shit and richie is my fave so he's gonna get some shit :)

big billiam - bill  
eight nights at eddies - eddie  
big dad ritch - richie  
beverly hills chihuahua - beverly  
there’s a bEe? - mike  
benjamin button - ben  
flat stanley - stan

\--

10:30 am  
big dad ritch- if you never see me again its bc ive been Murdered by stevenson

eight nights at eddies- What the fuck did you do now??

big dad ritch- why do you assume IVE done something and that hes not just on a murder spree??

flat stanley- He tried to throw wadded up paper into the garbage but missed and hit stevenson right in the face

big dad ritch- that was NOT my fault he got right in the way of the paper and i swear i saw him move so hed get hit

flat stanley- Yeah, that's not what I saw.

eight nights at eddies- Oh my god Richie

big dad ritch- im getting murdered after school today and none of you have any sympathy :(

beverly hill chihuahua- i have sympathy. stevenson is evil one time i forgot to write my name on my paper and he said he watched me cheat and gave me detention for two weeks.

eight nights at eddies- Wwwwaaaiiiiittt a minute there Richard,,, after school? Did you get detention??? For today???

big dad ritch- i knowww i diddd im sorry sweet angel baby boy i owe my whole life to you and you are my 1 source of true happiness

eight nights at eddies- Uh huh. Did you Forget something important? Like the movie?? Right after school??

there's a bEe?- i'll go see a movie with you eddie! :) stan can come too

flat stanley- sure! does anyone wanna join us?

big billiam- I would be down for a movie.

benjamin button- me too!!

beverly hills chihuahua- I wanna see the new Marvel movie!!

big dad ritch- im so offended rn i cannot believe you people i throw ONE (1) paper ball and i am Abandoned and Forgotten.

eight nights at eddies- have fun in detention (:

\--

9:30 pm

big dad ritch- how was the movie :(

there's a bEe?- I really liked it. the special effects were really cool

flat stanley- My favorite part was when we made it through whole movie without being yelled at.

eight nights at eddies- Yeah that was a new one for me too!!

beverly hills chihuahua- ben didnt stay for the post credit scenes

big dad ritch- haha what a loser

benjamin button- at least i'm not the guy who missed the whole movie because i have shit aim and hit a teacher

big dad ritch- damn b ur really bringing out the salt early tonight usually you dont start bullying me until after 11

big billiam- He's probably so mad bc Some Body bitched the whole way to and from the movie about his dumb bf not being there and ruining their date

eight nights at eddies- hey man.

big dad ritch- THERE'S NO NEED TO BE DOWN I SAID

big dad ritch-YOUNG MAN,

big dad ritch- PICK YOURSELF OFF THE GROUND I SAID

**benjamin button removed big dad ritch from the conversation**

benjamin button- good night every one

\--

_(private message)- eight nights at eddies and big dad ritch_

big dad ritch- YOUNG MAN

big dad ritch- CAUSE YOU'RE IN A NEW TOWN

eight nights at eddies- How do you know all the words

big dad ritch- ymca gets me hype

eight nights at eddies- Do you want me to add you back

big dad ritch- nah i'm good for now we'll wait until benny has cooled down

big dad ritch- were you really bitching about me being gone today?

eight nights at eddies- Yes I was upset because you're a dumbass and I missed you

big dad ritch- well i guess i will have to make that up to you!!! keep your window ulocked tonight babby boy;)

eight nights at eddies- Disgusting. My mom is already in bed hurry over.

\--

8:32 am

**eight nights at eddies added big dad ritch to the conversation\**

\--

9:05 am  
flat stanley- god I would die for peanut butter

there's a bEe?- I don’t like peanut butter

flat stanley- Blocked

there's a bEe?-Stan blocking everyone is not going to solve your problems

flat stanley- I cant hear you you’re blocked

there's a bEe?- How did you know i even said anything

flat stanley- Uh guys I keep getting notifications but no messages? :/

there's a bEe?- Wow Stan you’re so funny :)

big dad ritch- wow that’s Gay

eight nights at eddies- You’re one to talk

eight nights at eddies- (screenshot of a message richie sent reading “no homo but i would let harry styles r*w me”)

big dad ritch- i said no homo

there's a bEe?- That doesn’t make it any less gay

flat stanley-^^

there's a bEe?- I thought i was blocked??

flat stanley- I will unite even with peanut butter haters to make fun of Richie

big dad ritch- ouch stan

big billiam- you guys I forgot to turn off my sounds on my phone and it went off so many times and I think Mr. Jones is going to kill me soon

there's a bEe?- I wish I was still home schooled there are too many homicidal teachers here

benjamin button- not to be a weeb but I know jones watches anime and I have Seen a death note on his desk so uh nice knowing u bill

big dad ritch- i'm glad i got to meet you before you died

bejamin button- hey that's what you said when you met me and I was dying from a stab wound to the stomach :D

beverly hills chihuaha- hey ben are u like. ok.

benjamin button- yeah I lived obviously

big dad ritch- now he just has a sick battle scar that im sure the ladies love right bev ;;;;)))))))

benjamin button- she does actually

beverly hills chihuahua- ACTUALLY when ben isnt wearing a shirt im usually not very focused on the sick battle scar if you Know What I Mean

flat stanley- Richie you did this to us.

big dad ritch- yes i regret ever speaking.

flat stanley- I'm blocking you.

\--

11:30 am

big dad ritch- whom here wants to accompany me to mickey d's

there's a bEe?- stanley and I are going to taco bell actually

big dad ritch- fuck you and stan

eight nights at eddies- foursome??

beverly hills chihuahua- EDDIE HADBFHJFJNMA

big dad ritch- im down.

big billiam- why tf am i single i wanna be in foursome but we just Had to have an odd number of friends

big dad ritch- me n eds are always down for a threesome ;)

edight nights at eddies- Not my name and he did not consult me but he is correct hey Bill wyd

big billiam- i was not expecting this

theres a bEe?- i'm sure stanley would be up for a 3 way if it was with you bill :)

flat stanley- I would't be flat stan if you were in bed with us if you know what I mean

benjamin button- I dont know what you mean

benjamin button- are you implying that youre flat normally? or that in bed with mike you're flat?

big dad ritch- hes saying that bill gives him a big phat boner

**flat stanley removed big dad ritch from the conversation**

flat stanley- beep beep richard

\--

_private chat- eight nights at eddies and big dad ritch_

big dad ritch- i should probably think before hitting send

eight nights at eddies- Yeah it is far too early to read about Stan's phat boner

eight nights at eddies- I'll add you back after we get McDonald's.

big dad ritch- other guys will just feed you lines! but ILL take you to mickey deeeessss

eight nights at eddies- Don't test your luck.

\--

_richie does not eat dog poop_

eight nights at eddies- I'm going to add him back after we get lunch but until then Stanley I am going to issue an apology on his behalf. Sorry my stupid boyfriend talked about your boner

benjamin button- no offense but stan walked right into it

beverly hills chihuahua- I mean i'm sure stan didnt expect anyone to talk about him having a,,, "phat boner" but he was talkin dick

big billiam- ok I've been spending too much time with richie bc my first thought after hearing that is if you aint talkin dick i dont wanna talk

eight nights at eddies- ME TOO why is he the way that he is.

\--

12:24 pm

**eight nights at eddies added big dad ritch to the conversation**

eight nights at eddies- *me looking at good pictures of all my friends except richie*: wow??? god?? slay me ?? fave??!! wow i love you?? magnificent??  
*me just like looking at richie irl not even a picture just like alive* wtf the fuck fucking fuck kind of motherfucking shitass hoefaced dick//crunching// snail??

there's a bEe?- eddie what the whole fuck

eight nigt at eddies- I hate Richie

big dad ritch- :(

big billiam- why

flat stanley- ^^

eight nights at eddies- We were walking back to his car from McDonald's holding hands and this Bitch falls and Takes Me Down With Him

eight nights at eddies- My hands are all skinned and my knees hurt so bad :(

beverly hills chihuahua- ;)

eight nights at eddies- Shut the whole fuck up.

big billiam- are u both okay tho

eight nights at eddies- Yes we are okay and Richie best be glad because if I was actually injured he would be dead

big dad ritch- physically i am fine

big dad ritch- emotionally i am bruised

\--

3:17 pm

benjamin button- ITS THE WEE K E ND NOW HEEEEEEL YEA

flat stanley- heel yea

there's a bEe?- heel

beverly hills chihuahua- are you making fun of my man?????

there's a bEe?- ofc not bev & ben :)

big dad ritch- i love fake hoe mike

eight nights at eddies- I love fake hoe Richie

big dad ritch- aw he loves me :D

there's a bEe?- excuse me sir i am no fake hoe

there's a bEe?- i'm a real hoe

flat stanley- Damn #betrayed my bf is a hoe

flat stanley- I'm a thot

big billiam- all my otps

big dad ritch- bill is singing hello darkness my old friend

eight nights at eddies- It's called the Sound Of Silence

big billiam- Yeah richie the song isn't called hello darkness my old friend 

benjamin button- haha loser

beverly hills chihuahua- PAYBAC K

big dad ritch- anywhom are we doin anything tonite or just the uze

big billiam- the uze?

eight nights at eddies- The usual

big billiam- oh

big billiam- yeah we're doing that I gotta watch Georgie tonight so I can't go anywhere

big dad ritch- HEELLLL YEYEYYAASSSSS GEORGIEEEEEE

big dad ritch- thats my SON

big billiam- dad? is that u?

beverly hills chihuahua- YEET im pumped

big billiam- yeah just come over at like 5

\--

4:53 pm

big dad ritch- will be late bc of whom i am as a person

eight nights at eddies- I will be late too then as my ride is a piece of human garbage

big dad ritch- i love u eddie :) 

big dad ritch- i have to Clean Up like im usually not a fan of cleaning but if i dont straighten (lol) this place up a little the smell of my living room will spread and hurt the whole town

big dad ritch- give me like 10 mins and ill be ther or b square

eight nights at eddies- I'll come over to help

big billiam- I want love like this

there's a bEe?- that's the strength of the love I feel for Georgie and Stan

there's a bEe?- (image of Georgie in Mickey Mouse pajamas on Stan's back)

beverly hills chihuahua- i just shed a tear

benjamin button- I can vouch for that.

\--

_(private message- eight nights at eddies and big dad ritch)_

big dad ritch- u dont have 2 come over

eight nights at eddies- Of course I'm coming over stupid

eight nights at eddies- I'm actually outside let me in

\--

5:17

big dad ritch- we r on the way :)

big billiam- yeet

\--

4 am

big dad ritch- EAT ASS GET RICH

eight nights at eddies- I don't pay you.

flat stanley- I'm gouging my eyes out rn

benjamin button- why the FUCK are you guys awake if i hear my phone go off One More Time im committing murder

\--

10 am

big dad ritch- i dont feel safe in the gc

eight nights at eddies- The don't talk about eating ass at 4 am

benjamin button- sorry for yelling at you and then kicking you

big dad ritch- I THOUGHT THAT WAS EDDUE

big dad ritch- also eds i dont eat just any ass

big dad ritch- just yours ;)

benjamin button- Don't make me hit you in front of Georgie

 


	2. 1D day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5:32 pm  
> flat stanley- does someone wanna hang out I'm bored
> 
> big dad ritch- cant im 2 busy eatin eds ass
> 
> big dad ritch- please dont remove me i didnt mean it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some bg info 4 this chap
> 
> so pennywise still happened many years ago but they dont remember much they just have vague memories of feelings and clowns (georgia lived ofc)
> 
> richie, stan, and ben are huge one direction fans (me too) and 1D day was a 7 hour live stream of one direction in november 2013 (u rly should look up harry styles working out 1d day it honestly almost turned me het like skip right over bi/pan)
> 
> sharpie ass brows is a real girl i know but i changed her name

1:16 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- hey guys remember when i was friends with that 1 girl emily

big dad ritch- yeah she a bich

beverly hills chihuahua- well i just got the Tea on her and Fuck homegirl is crazy

beverly hills chihuahua- she does that hard crack cocaine and while her mom was out of town her dad kicked her out of her house for 2 weeks and fucked off to new york to live with her 22 year old bf

beverly hills chihuahua- and when her mom came back she made emily come back but they never speak to each other and emily is out at all hours doing Drugs

big dad ritch- fuck man i almost bought we’d from her once im glad i didnt

beverly hills chihuahua- yeah i hear she laces it with  like. Acid.

flat stanley- i love this tea

flat stanley- she’s in my math class and yesterday her makeup made me want to cry

there's a bEe?- HER EYEBROWS

there's a bEe?- they make me sad

flat stanley- ^^!!!

flat stanley- she needs to learn how to blend eyeshadow and do an eyebrow gradient so they don't look like she drew them on with sharpies

there's a bEe?- her contour too…. Disgusting

eight nights at eddies- When did you two become bullies

flat stanley- when a bitch comes into school looking like a freakin cl*wn??

big billiam- why did u censor clown

flat stanley- u know im not 100% sure

big dad ritch- i hate clowns they r so ugly

big dad ritch- i feel like i was almost killed by a clown once

eight nights at eddies- I would like to make fun of you for that but honestly I feel like a clown broke my  arm

beverly hills chihuahua- clowns are #cursed

benjamin button- being called a clown is the worst insult Stans a savage

beverly hills chihuahua- haha get rekt emily

beverly hills chihuahua- sharpie ass brows

big dad ritch- i have a streak with her

**beverly hills chihuahua removed big dad ritch from the conversation**

beverly hills chihuahua- dont want any fakes :)

big billiam- well then u better remove stan and mike too

flat stanley- damn bill

there's a bEe?- im hurt

**eight nights at eddies added big dad ritch to the conversation**

big dad ritch- yall play too much

big dad ritch- a simple beep beep would suffice there is no need to remove me five times a day

\--

5:32 pm

flat stanley- does someone want to hang out I'm bored

big dad ritch- cant im 2 busy eatin eds ass

big dad ritch- please dont remove me i didnt mean it

big dad ritch- ill hang out with you

flat stanley- Anyone? really? nobody?

big dad ritch- we can watch 1d dayyyy

flat stanley- get here Right Now 

benjamin button- I'm coming too

there's a bEe?- isn't 1d day like 8 hours

flat stanley- yeah

big dad ritch- it was the best day of my life

eight nights at eddies- Um what about the day we started dating

big dad ritch- Um niall had lilac hair and there was a whole 7 hour live stream of pure one direction

benjamin button- louis dressed up as luigi

flat stanley- harry nearly died

eight nights at eddies- I will be honest I don't care that much about one direction but if I pretend that I do I can understand the hype

big dad ritch- see u losers in 9 hours

big dad ritch- im givin us time to pause to cry a little

eight nights at eddies- awesome

\--

2:30 am

flat stanley- go d I miss 2013

big dad ritch- i want harry styles to love me and hold me in his arms

benjamin button- I miss Zayn being in the band he was so good what happened to him

big billiam- wow ben is up late and not threatening murder what a surprise

benjamin button- I was just blessed with 7 hours of pure 1D I couldn't be angry if I tried

big dad ritch- i remember the 1st time watching i was 12 and the gym scene made me realize i was gay

big dad ritch- watchng harry styles work out... all sweaty.... i probaby n*tted in my pants

benjamin button- honestly me too

flat stanley- the talk dirty to me video makes me cry every time

big billiam- I ahet all of you

big billiam- hate

big billiam- go to sleep

\--

9:45 am

eight nights at eddies- I looked up Harry Styles working out and honestly had a second gay crisis like it was so hot I realized that I'm gay all over again

big dad ritch- I?? love you

big dad ritch- I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

big dad ritch- thats the biggest mood

\--

10:11 am

big billiam- I had the weirdest dream

big billiam- It was dark and i was like damn my phones flashlight thing wont work wtf I need light and my dad popped out of nowhere and he was like I got ur back and he opened an envelope from the gas company and light poured out of it and it was very interesting

beverly hills chihuahua- that is odd

benjamin button- the magical gas company

\--

4:18 pm

big dad ritch- REMEMBER WHEN STAN AND MIKE WERE DATING AND DIDNT WANT 2 TELL US 4 SOME REASIN

big dad ritch- I WAS PUTTING PICS FROM MY PHONE TO CMPUTER AND FOUND SOME SCREENSHOTS FROM EARLY 2016,,,,

(text screenshots)

_ STAN :)- Ya boys botta Kermit _

_ boverly- Same but why _

_ STAN :)- I was at dumb farm boys house and had to skip my skin routine and now it’s Fucked and will take many days to recover  _

_ STAN :)- thanks a lot Mike _

_ MY NAME IS NOT EDS- Yeah Mike thanks a lot Mike _

_ mike wazowski- why is everything my fault  _

_ rochard- more important question _

_ rochard- why was stan at your house overnight w/o the rest of us _

_ MY NAME IS NOT EDS- Good point Richard  _

_ STAN :)- uhh how about none of your beeswax?? _

_ rochard- they were fucking _

_ STAN :)- mcscuse me bitch?? _

_ mike wazowski- Did u just say mcscuse me _

_ mike wazowski- I'm leaving you _

_ mike wazowski- all of you I'm leaving this whole friend group yup _

_ rochard- hey tho u know u don’t have to hide a relationship from us unless u want to because i am ok w the gays _

_ MY NAME IS NOT EDS- Wow Richie are you?? Incredible!! _

_ STAN :)- why are we focusing on Richies dumb ass instead of my suffering skin _

_ mike wazowski- you’re glowing stan  _

_ I'm just a bill- wow stan is pregnant! _

_ rochard- that was gay mike _

_ mike wazowski- everything you do is gay richie _

_ rochard- no homo _

_ rochard- but if he asked i would bend it for chris evans in the middle of the street _

_ mike wazowski- tbh me too _

_ MY NAME IS NOT EDS- sometimes I get scared for what Richie will ask of me one day _

_ MY NAME IS NOT EDS- MICHAEL _

_ STAN :)- damn mike u a freak _

_ mike wazowski- just for u  _

_ ben10- why did I have to read that with my own 2 eyes _

_ ben10- but same chris could get it any time any day sorry bev _

_ boverly- I understand completely _

_ rochard- daddy chris _

(end screenshots)

big dad ritch- our names thoooo

eight nights at eddies- I have been fighting eds for so long

beverly hills chihuahua- boverly and rochard

benjamin button- chris evans could still get it did you see him in the infinity war trailer???? hot.

there's a bEe?- I can't believe my own bf, STAN :), called me a dumb farm boy

big dad ritch- i cant believe he said kermit for commit i dont even remmeber that being a thing

big billiam- haha I'm just a bill

big billiam- yes I'm only a bill

big billiam- and I'm sitting here on capital hill

flat stanley- thank you bill for getting that suck in my head for forever now :)

flat stanley- also @rochard what is your deal with wanting celebrities to do extreme sex acts

flat stanley- you want harry to raw you and you want chris evans to bend you over in the middle of the street

big dad ritch- i was 14 when i wrote that u foole

flat stanley- and?? you said the harry thing like 3 days ago

eight nights at eddies- I fear the day Richie will actually cash in on these requests but like. with me

eight nights at eddies- I will Not do it in the street there are Germs

there's a bEe?- I don't want to hear this

benjamin button- come on eddie am i going to have to remove you now?

eight nights at eddies- :)

\--

8:45 pm

benjamin button- (screenshot of that pic jack and finn posted on their igs a few days ago when finn visited jack)

benjamin button- hahahahaha

benjamin button- he looks like sid from ice age

eight nights at eddies- richie?

benjamin button- duh

benjamin button- you're not the one making a stupid face lookin like an inbred ice age sloth thing

**big dad ritch removed benjamin button from the conversation**

big dad ritch- payback

**eight nights at eddies added benjamin button to the conversation**

big dad ritch- baby :(

eight nights at eddies- I just did that to do this

**eight nights at eddies removed benjamin button from the conversation**

eight nights at eddies- That's my bf you fool

big dad ritch- baby :')

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet! leave comments & if u have suggestions hmu


	3. in a tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big dad ritch- i spilled gasoline on mtawlf on the bus
> 
> eight nights at eddies- WHY WERE YOU ON THE BUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok lol "angst"

3:46 pm

flat stanley- say toast 10 times fast

eight nights at eddies- Toast toast toast toast toast toast toast toast toast toast 

flat stanley- now what do you put in a toaster

eight nights at eddies- Butter

flat stanley- hahahahaha

flat stanley- wait

there's a bEe?- BUTTER

flat stanley- YOURE SUPPOSED TO SAY TOAST

eight nights at eddies- FUCK

beverly hills chihuahua- EDDIE SUNSKDKSNS

benjamin button- im laughing

eight nights at eddies- You guys? Bullies

6:58 pm

big dad ritch- ,y legs are wet and i cant tell if im sweting a lot or if i peed my pants

big billiam- Richie r u ok

big dad ritch- i feel like there’s a parasite in my brain just… eating away at like. My me man

big dad ritch- i was cursed by a witch? I think???

benjamin button- are you high?

big billiam- or drunk?

beverly hills chihuahua- or both??

big dad ritch- eddie doesnt liek it when i get higj or drunk or crosffaded im in a tree

there's a bEe?- ….a tree??

big dad ritch- i think i was trying to go to eddies bur rhwew ia no house near mw

beverly hills chihuahua- rich eddie is seeing a movie with his cousin rn

beverly hills chihuahua- where are you

big dad ritch- IN A TRE E

beverly hills chihuahua- what tree

big dad ritch- the wrng one ::(((

eight nights at eddies- what the fuck is happening

big billiam- Eddie your man has lost it

eight nights at eddies- … I think I'm leaving the movie now

big billiam- you’re with family we can find him

beverly hills chihuahua- yeah i just left im gonna check around your house

big dad ritch- im in a tree

eight nights at eddies- Yes Richie I can read

big dad ritch- i cabt :(

eight nights at eddies- Well you just responded to my text so I'm assuming you read it? That means you can read

there's a bEe?- there was just a very loud noise outside of my window

there's a bEe?- like someone fell out of a tree

eight nights at eddies- Was it Richie?

flat stanley- no

flat stanley- im on the grounf 

eight nights at eddies- oh my god

big dad ritch- STAN FELL like i fel foy rou rdiie

beverly hills chihuahua- stan now is not the time to be a thot

flat stanley- excuse me i was not reading the Plethora of texts i was recieving as i was driving

flat stanley- let me get caught up

big dad ritch- therq are aome birds nect to me

big dad ritch- i spilled gasoline on mtawlf on the bus

eight nights at eddies- WHY WERE YOU ON THE BUS

flat stanley- ok Richie where are you

big dad ritch- i have said b4

big dad ritch- i am a bird in a tree

big dad ritch- i miss eddie :(

eight nights at eddies- This is why I don't like him getting high. He doesn't know his limits and does too much

big dad ritch- IM NOT HIGJ

big dad ritch- im high up in rhis tree tho

big dad ritch- haha

big dad ritch- but not higgh on drugs

eight nights at eddies- I’m almost home maybe he is in the tree by my house

beverly hills chihuahua- i’ve been around eddies neighborhood and i cant see him

big billiam- i went to his house

big billiam- he is in his bed

eight nights at eddies-Wtf

eight nights at eddies- What is he on

big billiam- a very high fever

eight nights at eddies- . come again

big billiam- there’s no thermometer in this house but he is very hot

big dad ritch- i appreciat it billl but i love ediei

big billiam- im taking his phone

eight nights at eddies- im omw over :/

beverly hills chihuahua- me too

big billiam- he just started crying bc he misses "eddo"

big billiam- also he wasnt lying about spilling gas on himself on the bus he reeks of it

big billiam- haha please come fast he just spit out some feathers

\--

7:49 pm

benjamin button- jfc

benjamin button- you take 1 nap

benjamin button- how is he doing

eight nights at eddies- He is on so many drugs

big billiam- he's sleeping now

benjamin button- what does he have

eight nights at eddies- Just a bug I think. Hit him fast and hard though 

big dad ritch- llik,e a train lol

eight nights at eddies- Richie I thought you were asleep :(

big billiam- i thought i took his phone?

big dad ritch- its minenow bitchess

big dad ritch- heuheuheuheueh

big billiam- RIHCHIE JUST SCARED EDDIE SO BAD HE SCREAMED

eight nights at eddies- I WILL BE HONEST I PEED MYSELF A LITTLE

beverly hills chihuahua- WHAT HAPPENED NBEFJHBEDN

big billiam- lmaooooo

big billiam- richie apparently came downstairs and nonw of us knew and he JUMPED on eddie like  fuckin. i dont know whats something that jumps

flat stanley- frog

big billiam- yes like a giant floppy sick frog with really long limbs

eight nights at eddies- he screeched while doing it too

big dad ritch- alexx the lionn

flat stanley- haahaha

there's a bEe?- omg that vid is terrifyig

there's a bEe?- the alex the lion one of stan

eight nights at eddies- Imagine that jumping on you

eight nights at eddies- My life flashed before my eyes

big billiam- richie is still on eddie

big dad ritch- i lo ev mh man so much so squish and dcozy i love to lay on his leafy ;lrgs

eight nights at eddies- My leafy legs.

eight nights at eddies- I'm taking his phone again goodnight everyone

\--

12:23 pm

flat stanley- good morning all

there's a bEe?- it's 12:30

flat stanley- ok

flat stanley- my life is a mess

there's a bEe?- that's a mood

\--

4:18 pm

big dad ritch- i am not crazy anymore !!

big dad ritch- what the Fuck was that fever i dont know how i got gas on myself or feathers in my mouth

eight nights at eddies- Mystery illness

benjamin button- so you're good now?

eight nights at eddies- He's still a little sick but nbd :)

big dad ritch- i hve my dr. eddie to look after me D;

big billiam- please never send that face again

\--

6:12 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- ugh em*ly came into my work today w/ gr*tta

benjamin button- truly disgusting

beverly hills chihuahua- she annoys me sooo mucchhhhh she does nothing but talk shit that makes no sense !!! grow up emily!!! we are 17 now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

benjamin button- don't listen to anything she says :/

flat stanley- ^^

there's a bEe?- emily aint Shit

beverly hills chihuahua- aw guys so sweet

beverly hills chihuahua- yeah im not paying attention tp her anymore idc

beverly hills chihuahua- close thy mouth demon mine ears will be subject to your caterwauling no more

eight nights at eddies- A WHOLE ICON

\--

2:29 am

big billiam- FUCK

big billiam- sorry ben ik i'm not supposed to text this late but

big billiam- I forgot i had a candle on and i nearly had a goddamzb heart attack when i turned off my light and there wazs this strange orange glow cominf frim the corner

big billiam- I thought that cl*wn was comin 2 get me

big billiam- whar the fuck why did i think a certain clown was targeying me

big billiam- good the fyck night

 

7:45 am

flat stanley- good the fyuk morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i based richies illness on an ep of cracked after hours (other dimensions episode) i love that series
> 
> ok i have a Request- i need somone for bill to date like idw make someone up i want a whole real character. i thought about somene from stranger things but idk i need some outside input so if u have anyone u ant bill 2 date... pls comment it... (preferably a guy tbh i hc bill as bi but i want bill to find a man)


	4. hewwo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eight nights at eddies- What the hell did I do?!?!?!
> 
> big dad ritch- nothing yet
> 
> big dad ritch- suspicious dog
> 
> big billiam- richie are you having a stroke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after 5 incredible years is the iconic line of the facebook post zayn wrote to announce he was leaving 1d so that's what that means. it's their 1d gc it will come back im sorry i love 1d i cant help it
> 
> like a bastard it an old Iconic larry fic (im not a fan of larry anymore tbh i dont love shipping irl people and i dont think the losers actually ship, they are just enjoying old larry content) and basically louis and harry are trying to adopt a kid when harry admits he cheated on louis 3 times bc he was freaked out over having a kid and it's sad and very well written and the summary is "harry breaks louis, louis breaks everything" so thats what all That means

_after five incredible years_ (flat stanley, benjamin button, big dad ritch)

5:38 pm

flat stanley- hey ben did you read that fic I sent you

benjamin button- yup

benjamin button- thanks! I hated it. My heart is shattered.

big dad ritch- ooh

big dad ritch- side eye

big dad ritch- what was it

flat stanley- you've already read it i'm sure. it's pretty old

big dad ritch- whhhattatt wsa it

benjamin button- like a bastard >:(

big dad ritch- .,.,. kjdfcx fuck

big dad ritch- why did u fuckikngdf remidn me 

flat stanley- :)

\--

_richie does not eat dog poop_

big dad ritch- Stanley Uris is a bitch

benjamin button- truth!!!

there's a bEe?- hey now

flat stanley- :D

eight nights at eddies- What'd he do

big dad ritch- //you//

there's a bEe?- um

eight nights at eddies- I swear I did not do Stan

big dad ritch- nonono that wasn't me saying u did him that was an accusatory you

eight nights at eddies- What the hell did I do?!?!?!

big dad ritch- nothing yet

big dad ritch- suspicious dog

big billiam- richie are you having a stroke

benjamin button- it's all stan's fault

benjamin button- most things are

benjamin button- just kiding most things are richie's fault this is the exception

big dad ritch- eddie if you ever cheat on me 3 times while we're looking to adopt a child bc youre freaked out over having children i will never forgive you again

eight nights at eddies- That's... specific... 

flat stanley- tbh me too @michael hoe don't do it

there's a bEe?- im not planning to???

big billiam- i dont know what's hapening

beverly hills chihuahua- who cheated?

big dad ritch- HARRY

beverly hills chihuahua- ah

eight nights at eddies- I'm going to have a fucking aneurysm I cannot believe you

flat stanley- :/

eight nights at eddies- You should be ashamed.

flat stanley- nope !

big dad ritch- eddie breaks richie

big dad ritch- richie breaks everything

big dad ritch- thats what itll be like if u cheat on me 3 times

eight nights at eddies- Well you don't have to worry :) I don't need anyone else, I already have the best guy in the world 

eight nights at eddies- My 1 and only

big dad ritch- im crying

big billiam- me too 

\--

10:37

flat stanley- fuck

big dad ritch- SHUT UP

big billiam- ?

flat stanley- I can hear richie talkig to himself and I was just ignoring him bc we have work but I decided to listen and he was going like ‘so fucking sexy, yes bitch’ so I figured ok hes looking at eddies nudes on his phone or something

eight nights at eddies- In CLASS Richie??

flat stanley- ew

flat stanley- but no

flat stanley- he was nutting over writing with a fucking gel pen

big dad ritch- ok 1. eddie iw ould never look at ur nudes in public where others could see ur hot bod 2. STAN stop creepin on me jfc 3. it was a good ass pen

eight nights at eddies- I need a nap

\--

_(private message) - big dad ritch and beverly hills chihuahua_

3:21 pm

big dad ritch- dyw smock that we'd 2nigt

beverly hills chihuahua- can you speak like a normal person

big dad ritch- normal is just a setting on a washing machine :3

beverly hills chihuahua- let's try this conversation again. 

big dad ritch- thank you

big dad ritch- hey bev do u wanna get high w me tonight i got a new pipe

beverly hills chihuahua- there we go

beverly hills chihuahua- I do but I have to work so I can't :(

beverly hills chihuahua- also it's a wednesday r u good????

big dad ritch- ye

big dad ritch- guess it's getting lit alone !!!

big dad ritch- my pipe is a cool ass dragon it just came in today i have to use it

beverly hills chihuahua- be careful!! you know how you get

beverly hills chihuahua- fish arms 

\--

_richie does not eat dog poop_

8:32 pm

big dad ritch- i usd to be so smatrt

big dad ritch- now i dont even know how to fuckimng read

eight nights at eddies- You are smart !!

big dad ritch- I DONT KNOWW HWTAT THAT SAY S

big dad ritch- mt tbu,bs don work  cat yezb tigt

big billaim- was that a smash

eight nights at eddies- No he said his tumbs dont work he cant text right

beverly hills chihuahua- he got high alone i couldnt go bc i have a job

beverly hills chihuahua- fish fingers strikes again

eight nights at eddies- I'm going over there smh

beverly hills chihuahua- otp

flat stanley- :(

flat stanley- Im gonna get crazy high and mike will save me and then we’ll see who bev’s otp is

there's a bEe?- I would save you stan

benjamin button- did richie not sign a thing from DARE saying he wouldnt do drugs smh

big billiam- oh he definitely signed he just doesn't obey

big billiam- i'm not complaining though high richie is hilarious

beverly hills chiihuahua- one time we got really high and he made a frozen pizza and when it was done he was trying to cut it but. fish arms. so he couldn't and he started crying

benjamin button- iconic

benjamin button- ive never smoked the devil's lettuce idk what fish arms means

big dad ritch- when im gihj u ;l8ns arnet  MINWE rheu arefis h

eight nights at eddies- "When I'm high my limbs aren't MINE they are fish"

big billiam- how do you do that

big billiam- that looks like pure nonsense how did you get a whole sentence

benjamin button- ah

eight nights at eddies- Well when you've known someone since you were 7 and you've also been dating since 8th grade but were basically together from 6th grade on, you kind of know a guy.

flat stanley- mike and i have been dating over a year but i would not be able to get a whole sentence from that if it was him

there's a bEe?- stgb an  i lo ve you   my eary i sypu s

flat stanley- stan and i love you my teary octopus

beverly hills chihuahua- IM LAUGHING

there's a bEe?- NO

there's a bEe?- NOT THST

there's a bEe?- stan i love you my heart is yours

flat stanley- BABE

flat stanley- fukvc

benjamin button- bev we have to be cute now

beverly hills chihuahua- but you're always cute ben!!!!!

big billiam- I hate my life i need a man

eight nights at eddies- Weed smells so bad

big dad ritch- youw nina pugbthgy msleds had

big billiam- hoe don't do it

eight nights at eddies- "Your mom's puthy smells bad"

big billiam- OH MY GOD

 

\--

_after five incredible years_

12:28 am

big dad ritch- i just tsarted crying cb i realized its almos been 2 yers aimce 1d lastreleased music

big dad ritch- its ebeen so lonf,,, its been so long

big dad ritch- MAYBE WERE FIREERERPROOFOF

8:15 am

flat stanley- DONT REMIND ME

benjamin button- because of harrys tour + louis and liam's inevitable ones once they have albums... this hiatus is gonna be so much longer...

big dad ritch- today is gonna suck im gonn a be crying over 1d all dayyyyy

\--

_(private chat) - eight nights at eddies to flat stanley_

12:19 pm

eight nights at eddies- Hey Richie has cried in class many times today is he ok do you know

flat stanley- we're emo about one direction again its nbd

eight nights at eddies- Of course. 

\--

_richie does not eat dog poop_

1:39 pm

there's a bEe?- have you guys seen bowers today i almost cried

big billiam- ME TOO

beverly hills chihuahua- who knew he was a furry

big dad ritch- "hewwo you wittle weiwdos :3c"- bowers probably

eight nights at eddies- "you wittle giwly bou youw boyfwiend is ugwy"

big dad ritch- ouch

benjamin button- "I wuv my knife! I wiww kiww you with it fatty"

beverly hills chihuahua- now i'm sad

there's a bEe?- i cont care WHAT he's said to us he has on a fucking fur suit

flat stanley- I HAVENT SEEN THIS

there's a bEe?- HES IN MY CLASS RN 

flat stanley- ok i told mr smith that i have to pee I have to see this

big billiam- I can't believe he left the house like that

beverly hills chihuahua- I'm very pleased

flat stanley- HOLFEHDCYHX I JUST FELL DOWN LAUGHING IN THE HALL

there's a bEe?- I HEAR YOU OMG

there's a bEe?- I am using all my self control to not cry rn

big dad ritch- what a day

-

8:47 pm

benjamin button- do u guys have the answers for the apush test

benjamin button- the online one

big billiam- they're in the apush groupchat

benjami button- I'm not in that

eight nights at eddies- Do you want me to add you?

benjamin button- DO NOT

benjamin button- I will friend dump you.

big dad ritch- u can just mute it

beverly hills chihuahua- yeah its not bad now

benjamin button- No. I have a reputation to mantain

flat stanley- what reputation

benjamin button- sigh

benjamin button- I have to be all cut off and quiet and mysterious so nobody gets any expectations like I'm the history kid but I'm not going to do the test until someone gives me answers

there's a bEe?- I understand that

there's a bEe?- If youre added now, people will notice but if you stay out nobody will ask you to do the test ever

flat stanley- makes sense

big dad ritch- but then nobody has your #?? 

benjamin button- perfect. :)

beverly hills chihuahua- I'll do a screen recording and send it to you

big billiam- yall cheaters

big dad ritch- are you saying you didnt use the answers?

big billiam- .....

big billiam- no comment.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i was a little drunk when i wrote about richie being high bc i do not remember writing it and it was saved in its own google doc and was very hard to understand. i made it readable.
> 
> i model reddie after me n my bffs relationship we can understand each other no matter what
> 
> i think i've decided on mike wheeler for bill's man but someone commented on the last chapter about loving the trope that either mike and richie think they look nothing alike, or the other losers thinking they look nothing alike. i cant choose my favorite.


	5. indiana mike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big billiam- can’t wait to go pumpkin picking w my bf and cuddle and watch scary movies and drink hot cocoa together
> 
> big billiam- oh wait
> 
> big billiam- IM SINGLE
> 
> big billiam- someone wife me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this chap is really long but i cant tell. there are lots of words but a lot of those are the names bc they're all like3 words each. i can type out eight nights at eddies in .2 seconds now im a pro at this :)
> 
> also i feel like this fic has gotten so plotty that was 100% not my intention but its how it is !!!
> 
> peep @ the title ;)

_richie does not eat dog poop_

10:24 am

big dad ritch- holy shit

big dad ritch- what the whole entire actual FUCK i hate mt life

eight nights at eddies- What happened baby

big dad ritch- im in stevenson's class rn

big dad ritch- and he has it out for me

big dad ritch- so the class is quiet and we r all doing a worksheet and im minding my own business doin my work not being a bother

big dad ritch- when stevenson looks up from his desk and out of th goddamn blue says "richie tozier, detention after school today"

big dad ritch- uhhhhh ???????

eight nights at eddies- again??????

big billiam- you have to be exaggerating

beverly hills chihuahua- you don't have him. you don't know.

eight nights at eddies- Out of the blue though....

flat stanley- I'm in his class and that is exactly what happened.

flat stanley- nobody was talking! richie was just doing his work! 

flat stanley- it was COMPLETELY out of nowhere

benjamin button- is that even legal?

big dad ritch- apparently !!!

big dad ritch- he just hates me and wants my first moments of fall break to be in detention

there's a bEe?- that sucks wtf report him

eight nights at eddies- He can't just dish out detention like that.

big dad ritch- he did tho :/ eddie sorry you have to wait for me after school now maybe someday i wont fuck up our dates

eight nights at eddies- Hey >:( You did nothing. Not your fault.

flat stanley- yeah he's just crazy

beverly hills chihuahua- now fall break will be that much sweeter

big dad ritch- i guess :/

\--

1:38 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- there is a poop so big in the toilet that it won't flush down

eight nights at eddies- It was probably Gretta

benjamin button- you mean gretta's poo?

eight nights at eddies- I know what I said.

big billiam- savage

beverly hills chihuahua- tbh it probably was hers

benjamin button- that's disgusting

beverly hills chihuahua- eh. could be worse

big billiam- how

beverly hills chihuahua- .... you don't wanna know

there's a bEe?- i can imagine

\--

3:22 pm

benjamin button- fall break! fuck yeah!

flat stanley- fuck yeah!

beverly hills chihuahua- fuck yeah!

there's a bEe?- fuck yeah!

big billiam- fuck yeah!

eight nights at eddies- Fuck yeah!

big billiam- can’t wait to go pumpkin picking w my bf and cuddle and watch scary movies and drink hot cocoa together

big billiam- oh wait

big billiam- IM SINGLE

big billiam- someone wife me

eight nights at eddies- i would but :/ got a man

there's a bEe?- we should find bill a man

there's a bEe?- that’s the goal this break

\--

_(private chat) beverly hills chihuahua and benjamin button_

3:37 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- i may have found bill a man

benjamin button- FR! ?

beverly hills chihuahua- yeah Will from work knows a guy

benjamin button- do we know the guy

beverly hills chihuahua- no he’s moving here this week from indiana where Will grew up so idk anything about him and idw get bills hopes up in case he's ugly :/

benjamin button- i mean i'm sure he'd be happy to go on a date w him to ~~test the waters

benjamin button- he wont know anything until he sees how he feels near this mystery man so he cant get upset if things dont work out

beverly hills chihuahua- you right bb i love u

benjamin button- heart eyes

 --

_richie does not eat dog poop_

3:46 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- hey billlllllyyyyyyy

big billiam- yes beverly

beverly hills chihuahua- u know that guy Will at my job

big billiam- the shrimpy one?

beverly hills chihuahua- savage

beverly hills chihuahua- yes

beverly hills chihuahua- he’s very kind and he says! that his buddy from indiana is moving here and he says that u and him... very similar... would get on very well...

big billiam- oh worm??????

big billiam- he cute ?

beverly hills chihuahua- will says so

beverly hills chihuahua- he says he’s tall and pretty lanky and has wavy hair and freckles and was the leader of their friend group when they were younger

beverly hills chihuahua- very brave 

big billiam- hmmmm interesting information !!!! 

big billiam- what’s his name

beverly hills chihuahua- mike

flat stanley- wtf u cant date a man with my mans name

there's a bEe?- theres only room for 1 mike

benjamin button- your name is michael tho

beverly hills chihuahua- so is other mike’s :/

beverly hills chihuahua- will says he’s appropriately emo for u according to what ive told him about u

there's a bEe?- APPROPRIATLEY EMO

eight nights at eddies- I'm laughing 

big billiam- when does he get here

beverly hills chihuahua- he’s getting here wednesday 

beverly hills chihuahua- i have his nombre do u want

big billiam- does he know of me

beverly hills chihuahua- duh wills been talking about you since he heard mike was coming here

big billiam- and why was i not informed????

there's a bEe?- bill i think it was done for all our sanities because nobody wants emo bill being emo about his far away man

big billiam- im hurt

eight nights at eddies- It's the truth, Bill

benjamin button- the truth hurts :/

eight nights at eddies- If you get a bf does that mean we have to add him to the gc

flat stanley- no

mike- losers club Only

flat stanley- he won’t understand 

there's a bEe?- “haha what’s with the name?”- indiana mike, probably 

flat stanley- he wasn’t There for the naming of the chat. he doesn’t get to be in it

big billiam- jfc u guys are so dramatic 

eight nights at eddies- you’re one to talk

big billiam- you are too! 

big billiam- you and your man!

big billiam- speaking of

big billiam- where is your man

eight nights at eddies- Detention. Did you not participate in the conversation earlier?

big billiam- oh yeah lol

big billiam- well he's dramatic too

eight nights at eddies- I miss him

eight nights at eddies- Richie when you're out of detention text me I love you I miss you <3 xoxo :*

big billiam- indiana mike better give me love like this

eight nights at eddies- That's setting the bar a bitt high for someone you don't know.

\--

_ (private message) - big dad ritch and eight nights at eddies _

4:54 pm

big dad ritch- just got out of detention thottie

eight nights at eddies- Why are you like this 

big dad ritch- i love you i was thinking of u the whole time st*venson was lecturing me abiut being an annoying ass hole

eight nights at eddies- Did he deadass call you that?

big dad ritch- yeah :/

eight nights at eddies- I'm at Baskin Robbins come here and I'll buy you ice cream

eight nights at eddies- You're not an annoying asshole. 

big dad ritch- omw baby :) <3<3<3<3

\--

_ peace and quiet (flat stanley, eight nights at eddies, beverly hills chihuahua, there's a bEe?, benjamin button, big billiam) _

5:04 pm

eight nights at eddies- Hey Stevenson is canceled forever !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

eight nights at eddies- Richie said Stevenson called him an "annoying asshole" so uh who wanna fight??

big billiam- I DO

flat stanley- I'm still at school for the extra credit in french im omw to stevenson to fucking punch him

there's a bEe?- a whole teacher? bithc?

beverly hills chihuahua- wtf.... i knew stevey was evil but why'd he go that far...

benjamin button- I've got some milk duds i'll give to him when we do whatever we're doing tonight

big billiam- we got georgie duty again

beverly hills chihuahua- hell eyah

_ \-- _

_ (private message) beverly hills chihuahua and big billiam _

5:12 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- here's mike's # ;)

beverly hills chihuahua- (contact attatched)

\--

_ (private message) big billiam and Mike Wheeler _

5:14 pm

big billiam- hewwo bill here

big billiam- ok im going to kms now i don’t know why i did that

Mike Wheeler- biww? fwom maine?

big billiam- bless

big billiam- yes it is i, derry bill

Mike Wheeler- im indiana mike

big billiam- i have a bff named mike i think indiana mike will stick

_**Mike Wheeler changed his name to indiana mike** _

big billiam- u #excited for the big move

indiana mike- yees i miss my man will ever since he left I had to be the leader //and// the nerd kid of our friend group

big billiam- there are so many nerd kids here wait until u see eddie he is 2 feet tall

big billiam- richie is a giant tho hes a whole 6’2 they r so funny together 

indiana mike- dude im 6’2 too

big billiam- SO TALL WTF

big billiam- im 5’9 >:(

indiana mike- that’s not too short! I like short guys they are cute :)

big billiam- :)

\--

_ richie does not eat dog poop _

5:38 pm

big billiam- I LOVE MIKE

there's a bEe?- why thank you :)

flat stanley- mcscuse me bill?

big billiam- indiana mike u stupids

big dad ritch- im so happy for u billy

eight nights at eddies- i cant wait to meet your new man

big billiam- i cant wait to meet my new man either

\--

7:43 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- uhm eddie and richie wya

big dad ritch- shhhh we are watching the flash

benjamin button- we have been.... abandoned

flat stanley- why can't i be barry allen i'm sorry u 2 :(

big dad ritch- shut

eight nights at eddies-  It's... Yes!

beverly hills chihuahua- what is yes?

big dad ritch- hes saying that the suspense of the flash is building up and hes super excited because all the foreshadowing in previous episodes is building up to this and hes excited

eight nights at eddies- Yes!

big billiam- i still don't know how they do that

big billiam- it was 2 words and richie got a whole paragraph

big billiam- whatever. come over when you're done. richie georgie was asking for u ://

big dad ritch- TWENTY MINYRES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mike!!!!!!!!!!! he's here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeet!
> 
> last conversation creds to ao3 user MulberryJam bless u for the cute little scenario.... domestic reddie is my #weakness


	6. spicee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a bEe?- spicy for you 2 is... fake fighting?
> 
> big dad ritch- fighting turns me on :P
> 
> eight nights at eddies- Unfortunately
> 
> big billiam- ewwww

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im about to watch stranger things s2 to get that Mike Characterization down :))))) 
> 
> if you notice that the names are wrong anywhere pls tell me bc i sometimes draft with just their name name or a letter and miss it when im adding in their gc names
> 
> also sorry but there's not much indiana mike content in this :/ but there will be in Sunday's update :)

_richie does not eat dog poop_

3:37 am

benjamin button- eddie im trying to sleep please stop wheezing your inhaler is in the kitchen

beverly hills chihuahua- damn ben is a savage

big dad ritch- eddie r u ok??

flat stanley- it is 3 am go to SLEEp

big dad ritch- i am trying to save my boyfriends Life

eight nights at eddies- Thank you for caring about me,,, Benjamin

\--

9:52 am

benjamin button- holy shit eddie im sorry

eight nights at eddies- It’s ok Ben we know you get angery at night

big dad ritch- ben wanted u dead tho babe

eight nights at eddies- I think you're overreacting he didn't threaten to murder me like he does to you

big dad ritch- :(

\--

_(private chat) big billiam and indiana mike_

12:38 pm

indiana mike- What is the high school like

big billiam- well we're on fall break right now

big billiam- but it's.... something

indiana mike- bad something?

big billiam- if u look it up and go to videos there is a clip of a big fight here in 2015 where a girl nearly got her head bashed in inn the cafeteria

big billiam- or maybe you'll see us on the local news for our rat problem

big billiam- or you'll see us on the news again for teachers falsifying grades for sport guys or for the 2 teachers caught boning or for any of our other many fights

big billiam- i love my school 

indiana mike- jfc i thought it was one of the best in the country??? don't you have like 20 AP classes

big billiam- 31 options actually

big billiam- it's a good school it's just a mess

indiana mike- then i'll fit right in :)

big billiam- I don't have any classes with Will but i hope you do + maybe... some classes with me :)

indiana mike- i hope i have all my classes with you

\--

_richie does not eat dog poop_

1:15 pm

big billiam- so mike is very brave

flat stanley- my man?? i know :)

big billiam- are you ever going to drop that joke i am already tired of it.

big billiam- indiana mike

big dad ritch- what'd he do

big billiam- conversation #2 and he's saying he hopes he has ALL his classes with me

big dad ritch- honestly that's a mood i already like this guy

eight nights at eddies- He's known you for two days and would already spend 7 hours with you a day

\--

5:36 pm

big dad ritch- remember in 8th grade when eddie and i told you all we were dating when we really werent

eight nights at eddies- That was stressful I liked you so bad but it was all fake

big billiam- UM

big billiam- NO I DONR REMEMBER

big dad ritch- did we not tell you???

eight nights at eddies- Lol Rich remember we only fake dated for like a month. We didn’t fake break up before real dating

big dad ritch- so we did not tell you

flat stanley- and u call me fake

eight nights at eddies- We are Joanne the Scammer

there's a bEe?- ooh u pulled 1 scam wow so professional

eight nights at eddies-1 scam???

big dad ritch- honey we have pulled Many Scams

big billiam- like what

eight nights at eddies- We can't just tell you

beverly hills chihuahua- then i don’t believe u

big dad ritch- fine

big dad ritch- remember summer after 9th when eddie went on that long vacation

big billiam- yeah u guys were fighting all summer

beverly hills chihuahua- the drama kept me going tbh

big dad ritch- lol

eight nights at eddies- “Fighting”

big dad ritch- that was all fake

ben- WHAT

beverly hills chihuahua- BUT U BOTH

beverly hills chihuahua- SO ANGEY

flat stanley- i am 100% sure i comforted a crying richie that summer

big dad ritch- ik how to fake cry

big dad ritch- duh

eight nights at eddies- We didn’t mean for it to go on so long

big dad ritch- we had to keep it spicee while eds was out of town

there's a bEe?- spicy for you 2 is... fake fighting?

big dad ritch- fighting turns me on :P

eight nights at eddies- Unfortunately

big billiam- ewwww

there's a bEe?- a year and a half in and you were already bored?????

eight nights at eddies- We weren't bored of each other

big dad ritch- he was out of town for 5 weeks we had to be entertained somehow

big dad ritch- also i could never be bored of eddie

big dad ritch- 3 years and every day with him is exciting

big billiam- heehehehehehehhehe

beverly hills chihuahau- what htefuck was that bill

big billiam- I have a potential man i don't have to be emo about wanting love like theirs bc it is a Possibility

eight nights at eddies- Still be emo I like being the power couple

benjamin button- um excuse me but bev and i???????????/

big dad ritch- eds n i have pulled like 10 scams together + we've been daing since 8th grade + i plan to date 4ever???

eight nights at eddies- Come on Ben get on our level

benjamin button - fine. you asked for it

benjamin button- i've liked beverly since 7th grade

big dad ritch- eddie was my 1st guy crush in the 5ht grade

benjamin button- we have been dating since 9th grade

eight nights at eddies- 8th :/

benjamin button- and we have both pulled a year long scam together

beverly hills chihuahua- oh man are we exposing ourselves now?

benjamin button- yes

flat stanley- I am intrigued

benjamin button- remember how much bev and I loved supernatural in middle school

big dad ritch- uh oh

there's a bEe?- yes you made me wach it and i hated it

benjamin button- hahaha

benjamin button- i haven't seen an episode all the way through

beverly hills chihuahua- me neither

big dad ritch- wym by that

eight nights at eddies- Like you'd skip parts so you've never seen an episode in its entirety but you still watched and enjoyed the show?

benjamin button- haha

beverly hills chihuahua- not like that

benjamin button- we never even watched a little bit

flat stanley- BUT YOU RAN A SP N BLOG

big billiam- i bought you guys so much stuff for it??????????

benjamin button- we wanted a Something so we pretended to watch

beverly hills chihuahua- it was the cool thing at the time

eight nights at eddies- I hate both of you.

big dad ritch- but.... tuesdays....

benjamin button- I did read that fic and a few others

beverly hills chihuahua- we kept up through gifs

flat stanley- didn't that Caleb kid in our english class watch it too??? you had whole conversations????????

benjamin button- based off of gifs and tumblr.

big billiam- hello darkness my old friend

big dad ritch- i need to lay down

big dad ritch- or get drunk

eight nights at eddies- Oh god

\--

11:32 pm

 

big dad ritch- eddie is my BABY!

big dad ritch- my fucking CINNMON APLE

beverly hills chihuahua- richie u are drunk

big dad ritch- NEVER

big dad ritch-I HAVE NVER

big dad ritch-IN MY LIFE

big dad ritch- OUCHED ALCHOHOL

flat stanley- eddie some collect your man

eight nights at eddies- im his BABY

eight nights at eddies- Hhis fuckingg CINNAMON APPLEE

beverly hills chihuahua- oh no they r both drunk

big billiam- where are they tho

big dad ritch- i am at home

big dad ritch- bc im with eddie <3333333333333

eight nights at eddies- I' m crying i,m home too whenever im with you Richie my 1 my ony i love you

big billiam- i should be concerned bc idk where they are but this is so cute

beverly hills chihuahua- (snoop dogg this is the cutest shit picture attatched)

big dad ritch- snoop DOGGG

eight nights at eddies- i did 2 shots n nOtih g happened so i did 2 more and i / am god

big dad ritch- you re god an d im youre quene eddie i love you…..

big billiam- ok fr tho where are u bc i dont ttrust iy to not beb by the cliff

big dad ritch- the earth is flat we just found the edge i cant belive im blockt fro th discor i want IN i have proof

eight nights at eddies- e’re going to space we’re goign over the edge of the wordl

there's a bEe?- im the closest i am literally sprinting to the quarry right now

benjamin button- THEYRE GOING TO KILL THEMSELVES 

benjamin button- GET AWAY FROM THE EDGE OF THE EARTH RICHIE AND EDDIE

there's a bEe?- Ok this is cute

there's a bEe?- they're sitting on the edge looking at the stars

flat stanley- they're still dumb enough to jump

there's a bEe?- u rite im getting them

flat stanley- I'll come help :)

big billiam- heheheheheeehehehueheueheheheee

beverly hills chihuahua- shut up Bill

\--

12:48 am

big dad ritch- eddie is my star

eight nights at eddies- Richie is my moon

beverly hills chihuahua- awwww

eight nights at eddies- Goodnught moon <3 :0

big dad ritch- goofnihgt starshien

\--

11:31 am

eight nights at eddies- Good morning everybody except Richard Tozier :)

big dad ritch- goodmorning eddie kaspbrak, my angel, my baby, my light and love and reason for living, i love you darling i hope u slept well

eight nights at eddies- You shut your damn mouth you singular piece of dick shaped confetti

eight nights at eddies- I have The Headache rn

benjamin button- you sounded pretty wasted

there's a bEe?- I had to carry richie while he held your hand and you were carried by Stan

flat stanley- y'aint light i can tell you that

beverly hills chihuahua- it is too early to be reading that word

big billiam- I wonder if they say y'aint in Indiana :)

beverly hills chihuahua- you foole

flat stanley- when does your new man with My Mans name getting here

big billiam- Tuesday i dont Want to wait 2 days :(

eight nights at eddies- Soon !!!!!

big dad ritch- then we can have that foursome yoy wanted earlier !!!!

big dad ritch- presuming indiana mike is hot, of coure 

big dad ritch- ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok uh i am all the way in love with bill and mike w being together so would anyone be interested in a whole real fic of them?? i would write it to be in this universe like it'd be kinda behind the scenes of the texts and would focus around bill. i actually dont care if people would be interested bc i've already started writing it in my head. :).
> 
> the scams mentioned in this chap are all real scams (my friend and i fake dated for a bit for lols even tho we liked each other smh + that same friend SCAMMED ME all thru middle school)
> 
> once again, i was under the influence while writing about them being under that same influence.


	7. mothballs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> benjamin button- :(
> 
> benjamin button- don't BULLY me like BOWERS
> 
> big dad ritch- here ill be like bowers comforting you
> 
> big dad ritch- //huggles//

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it takes all my self control to not focus on richie bc i love him and finn so hard but i gotts evenly distribute everyones "screen" time
> 
> mike and bill meet next time !!!!! i gotta stick with some sort of consistent timeline so mike moves to derry on tuesday
> 
> also.... STRANGER THINGS 2 WAS INCREDIBLE we got suck gr8 mike content
> 
> EDIT** I MESSED UP it’s not a big deal but i mixed up bill and stan in who loves 1d so i fixed it

_richie does not eat dog poop_

3:45 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- u know avery

big billiam- avery from math who is a little obsessed w you

beverly hills chihuahua- yeah

beverly hills chihuahua- he’s been working a lot recently and is getting real money so today he joked that he could be my sugar daddy and gave me his credit card as a joke

beverly hills chihuahua- so i memorized the number :)

big billiam- BEVERLY

beverly hills chihuahua- once he does something genuinely creepy....

beverly hills chihuahua- we gon treat ourselves

big dad ritch- i am so proud

eight nights at eddies- I kind of am too. Go you Bev

benjamin button- avery wtf why is he the way that he is

\--

6:32 pm

big dad ritch- honestly?? living for my look rn my new boots are the best 

beverly hills chihuahua- ooh what they look like

big dad ritch- velvet and floral :P

eight nights at eddies- They're so tacky I love them

big dad ritch- they r 8th grade richies dream

flat stanley- 8th grade richie made some questionable fashion choices

there's a bee?- now richie makes some questionable fashion choices

beverly hills chihuahua- excuse me richie is the god of fashion

big dad ritch- thank you beverly

big dad ritch- 8th grade richie took fashion inspo from harry styles and old women

benjamin button- baaaad combo

big dad ritch- 11th grade richie gets fashion inspo from harry styles (still, of course,) and instagram baddies

big billiam- please wear a floral suit

benjamin button- I would pay to see that

eight nights at eddies- He would either look incredible or like a total dumbass

beverly hills chihuahua- he would look incredible

big dad ritch- i love my fan beverly

beverly hills chihuahua- :)

\--

11:38 pm

big dad ritch- have u ever smelled mothballs

benjamin button- yeah?

big dad ritch- :o

big dad ritch- how did you get his little legs apart?

**benjamin button removed big dad ritch from the conversation**

benjamin button- dont add him back until tomorrow or i may actually kill him

flat stanley- mood

\--

10:13 am

**eight nights at eddies added big dad ritch to the conversation**

big dad ritch- i feel like i didnt deserve that

benjamin button- you did

big dad ritch- it was a funny joke

there's a bEe?- i hate to agree but yeah it is kinda funny

flat stanley- ^^ :/

big dad ritch- hah

eight nights at eddies- Don't let it get to your head

beverly hills chihuahua- i got better jokes

big dad ritch- the only joke you know is the door one

big billiam- the door one?

big dad ritch- when is a door not a door

benjamin button- oh god

beverly hills chihuahua- WHEN IT'S AJAR

beverly hills chihuahua- A JAR

beverly hills chihuahua- GET IT

big billiam- yes bev we get it

benjamin button- yu asked for it

there's a bEe?- yu

flat stanley- YU YU YU

there's a bEe?- chill stan it's not that big of a typo

benjamin button- WAIT

big dad ritch- WAIT

eight nights at eddies- Well you know what it's about when only the 3 of them get it

flat stanley- [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kdw37kjsyXk&t=1s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kdw37kjsyXk&t=1s)

big dad ritch- imagine being the one to slit harry's throat <3

benjamin button- i fucking wish

big billiam- me too

big dad ritch- HEY MAN 

big billiam- you Just said

big dad ritch- it's different when we say it bc we love the little alien man but u dont

there’s a bEe?- im.... not even going to comment

eight nights at eddies- smart move tbh

big dad ritch- mhm

flat stanley- u better check yourself

benjamin button- before you wreck yourself

there's a bee?- i dont like this

\--

11:23 am

big dad ritch- mike is my lover

there's a bEe?- im your what now

beverly hills chihuahua- his lover mike

big dad ritch- yeah mike

big billiam- learn to read mike

eight nights at eddies- Wow Mike didn’t know you were a HOMEWRECKER

there's a bEe?- what.

flat stanley- just let it happen.

\--

_(private chat) big billiam and indiana mike_

1:03 pm

indiana mike- tell me about your friends

big billiam- it's a lot

big billiam- can i call you?

indiana mike- YES sure :)

big billiam- real quick before we call

big billiam- i have a stutter and it's not that bad anymore but i get stuck on some words, especially if i talk for a while, so you gotta bear with me

indiana mike- of course! i dont mind at all 

_calling indiana mike_

_2:17 pm_

_end call_

_time elapsed- 1 hour, 10 minutes_

indiana mike- sorry i had to go so soon

big billiam- it;s fine honestly we were on the phone for a whole hour 

indiana mike- wow

indiana mike- felt like 10 minutes

indiana mike- i love your voice

big billiam- :::::)))))

\--

_richie does not eat dog poop_

2:28 pm

big billiam- indiana mike and i just tsalked on the phone for an HOUR i lik e him sm

big dad ritch- awww baby bill all grown

eight nights at eddies- Don't tease him

beverly hills chihuahua- omg!!!!!!!1

flat stanley- was he nice

big billiam- yeS he was so patient i got all caught up a few times and he was so sweet about it like 'its ok bill i love your voice u take all the time u need' what a goddamn angel

there's a bEe?- ohhh my god im so happy

big billiam- me tooooo :'''')

benjamin button- bill!!!!!!! that's so sweet

big billiam- everyone shut up im gonna text him some more

\--

_(private chat) big billiam and indiana mike_

2:49 pm

indiana mike- is there anything else i should know

big billiam- hmmmm

big billiam- ok idw get deep and all but like. we don't talk about summer after 7th grade idk why but we don't

big billiam- and we collectively dont like clowns and will catch ourselves censring clown like cl*wn 

big billiam- and also stan has these sick scars on his jawline that he doesn't remember getting but says he has a vaue image of a lady trying to eat him but he doesn't like them being mentioned and tbh i dont either it makes me feel #weird

indiana mike- mysterious

indiana mike- i won't mention clowns or the scars :)

big billiam- also ben talks about a near death experience a lot where local bully/furry henry bowers lost he goddamn mind and started carving his name into ben's stmach and he has a scar of H :/

indiana mike- jfc that's intense

big billiam- also richie can be overwhelming but we love him so we say beep beep richie to lovingly let him know it's shut up time but you should prob wait a bit to say it so he knows if u love him first

indiana mike- no beeiping either, got it

indiana mike- i dont like slugs or lizards much and eggos will probably make me all emo for a while. long story. 

big billiam- no eggos, slugs, or lizards. gucci :)

big billiam- do you wanna be in a gc with all my friends? to get to know us better?

indiana mike- sounds fun :)

\--

3:02 pm

big billiam- hey can we make a gc with indiana mike

big billiam- ik we dont want him in this Precious one but i want my new boo thang to know my friends bc he'll probabl hang around us a lot

beverly hills chihuahua- Will doesn't have many friends he might join too

big dad ritch- ive never met him tbh idk him at all

big dad ritch- but i would be down w a gc with new mike in it

there's a bEe?- me too

flat stanley- me three

eight nights at eddies- I WANT TO MEET YOUR NEW MAN

benjamin button- ME TOO

big billiam- :) cool :)

\--

_groupchat (big dad ritch, eight nights at eddies, there's a bEe?, flat stanley, benjamin button, beverly hills chihuahua, big billiam, indiana mike)_

big billiam- welcome :)

big billiam- mike these r all my friends

there's a bEe?- yeah bill i know them they're my friends too

big billiam- HHHH A HAHA MIKE youre so original

big billiam- you and stan I Swear

indiana mike- i assume bEe is mike hanlon

indiana mike- hello my name is michael with a b

big dad ritch- I LIKE YOU

indiana mike- ..thanks

eight nights at eddies- Chill, Rich

eight nights at eddies- Hi Indiana Mike :) I'm excited to meet you, we don't get many new people in Derry

benjamin button- I was new a few years back, they are very welcoming 

benjamin button- except when you nearly fucknf DIE

big billiam- i see the goal is making indiana mike as uncomfortable as possible

indiana mike- no haha my friends are like this too

indiana mike- richie is the one i said was like Dustin right?

big billiam- yeah

indiana mike- dramatic dustin

eight nights at eddies- Dramatic Richie tbh

indiana mike- and there's Lucas

eight nights at eddies- Lucas?

indiana mike- my bffl Lucas in indiana he's nice loml

indiana mike- dustin too

big dad ritch- :D

indiana mike- richie what's with the name

big dad ritch- texas hippie coalition

benjamin button- wait big dad ritch is a guy?????

big dad ritch- yeah???

benjamin button- huh i always thought you were jus big dad richie but for some reason spelled it ritch

beverly hills chihuahua- BEN HWJFKDCXM

benjamin button- :(

benjamin button- don't BULLY me like BOWERS

big dad ritch- here ill be like bowers comforting you

big dad ritch- //huggles//

flat stanley- if this wasn't a new gc with a new person i would pull a ben and Remove You

**beverly hills chihuahua named the conversation //huggles//**

indiana mike- oh my god

indiana mike- hewwo evewyone fwrom dewwy :3

big dad ritch- anyway mike is my new bf now

eight nights at eddies- Again?

there's a bEe?- what's your deal with mikes

big dad ritch- they're usually hot 

indiana mike- thanks :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i mentioned a sunday update and then i had a social life BUT technically it is still sunday :) next chapter either tues or wed and im doing my best to crank out the bill/mike fic. it's happening. would you rather have a long oneshot i post later, or a chapter fic i can start posting soon? im good w/ writing either kind :)
> 
> why do i write mike as ending p much every text with :) he's too emo for that smh 
> 
> my tumblr is toes-ier.tumblr.com and i'll answer any sort of questions or ideas :P


	8. welcum 2 derri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big billiam- ok my turn. richie would you rather fight some kindergartners
> 
> big dad ritch- i wanna fight some kindergartners
> 
> big billiam- i wasnt done
> 
> big dad ritch- well i already know my answer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heuehueeuehueheuhe michael from indiana is in DERRY! this chapter feels long af. got some vine inspo and also some me n my bf being telepathic with each other inspo 
> 
> tbh 1 of my fave things about this fic is that p much everyone calls mike wheeler 'indiana mike' in the comments that's so cute to me. I also love how everyone has literally the same ideas as me like ppl will comment conversations almost word for word what i already have written
> 
> also nice little cameo from will! prob won't include the other stranger things kids tbh But if anyone wants any sort f conversation with any of them i can do it

_private message - big billiam and indiana mike_

2:11 pm

big billiam- so i know you're movng TOMORROW but we never discussed when to Meet

indiana mike- omg you're right

indiana mike- well tbh i don't think i'll have time to see anyone but Will and his fam tomorrow but wed?????

big billiam- i'm available on wednesday

indiana mike- I don't know anything about derry so where is the best coffee

big billiam- prob the shop where Bev and Will work it's cheap but delicious

big billiam- you wanna meet there?

indiana mike- Wednesday at 12?

big billiam- yes :) there's a booth right by the window that has sunflowers on the table we'll sit there

indiana mike- what if it's taken

big billiam- it won't be. it's lowkey the designated losers table

indiana mike- losers?? why is there a losers table in a coffee shop

big billiam- hahaha oops

big billiam- go to the gc richie will want to explain it

indiana mike- ok??

\--

_//huggles//_

2:19 pm

big billiam- richie explain losers

big dad ritch- elaborate

indiana mike- he said something about a designated losers table but at a whole public coffee shop

indiana mike- i don't understand bc that's usually what we call the cafeteria table where this guy troy and his friends sit

flat stanley- owo is indiana mike a Bully?

indiana mike- no troys a lil bith and my friend once made him pee his pants in front of the whole school

there's a bEe?- owo not a bully :/ still just me n stan

big billiam- shut up

big dad ritch- we are the losers

indiana mike- oh goody

big dad ritch- The Losers Club (tm)

eight nights at eddies- We were all nerdy ass kids and kinda reclaimed losers into a club name and Richie is the most passionate about it

big dad ritch- i gotta say it

big billiam- go ahead

indiana mike- oh no

big billiam- it's not bad and he'll be insufferable if i don't let him say it

big dad ritch- WELCOME TO THE LOSERS CLUB ASSHOLE

indiana mike- aw thanks :)

\--

7:49 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- let’s play. would you rather

big dad ritch- yes

big billiam- i want to play

eight nights at eddies- Might as well

flat stanley- reliving middle school are we?

there's a bEe?- ok yoda

there's a bEe?- me thooo

benjamin button- yeet

indiana mike- im up may i participate

big billiam- yes :)

beverly hills chihuahua- of course!

indiana mike- yayyy

beverly hills chihuahua- ok i will go first

beverly hills chihuahua- eddie would u rather eat a slug

eight nights at eddies- No

beverly hills chihuahua- or let a slug slide up your butt

eight nights at eddies- I want to die that’s what I’d rather do

there's a bEe?- what the fuck bev

big dad ritch- answer the question eds

Eddie- Ok but you know I would never let a slug anywhere near my mouth I think it would be less uncomfortable to let it slide up my butt

big dad ritch- kinky

eight nights at eddies- Get out

indiana mike- interesting

eight nights at eddies- my turn

eight nights at eddies- Stanley would you rather brush your teeth with mud or eat a rock

flat stanley- mud? obvously. rocks are too hard I would break my teeth

eight nights at eddies- But mud has worms...

flat stanley- ok i'd pick out the worms

big dad ritch- i think eds would rather eat a rock

flat stanley- smh it'a my turn 

flat stanley- bill would you rather be eternally high or never get high again

big billiam- never again because high bill would not be a functioning member of society

big dad ritch- yeah youre super mom i dont think we would live very long with you constantly force feeding us potato chips

big billiam- ok my turn. richie would you rather fight some kindergartners

big dad ritch- i wanna fight some kindergartners

big billiam- i wasnt done

big dad ritch- well i already know my answer

big billiam- what if my next thing was like eat a cupcake

big dad ritch- still beat up kindergartners

eight nights at eddies- ok so we are adopting kids age 7 and up

indiana mike- awwwwww

big billiam- don’t fuel them eddie just says sweet things so people think they’re such a power couple

eight nights at eddies- We are though

big billiam- eddie shut up

big dad ritch- bill be nice smh

indiana mike- yeah bill be nice

big billiam- :0

big dad ritch- nice

big dad ritch- ok indiana mike would u rather go to an alternate dimension

indiana mike- hah

big dad ritch- or go to space

indiana mike- space

indiana mike- i hear alternate dimensions aren’t always good

benjamin button- that’s a strange thing to hear

indiana mike- its a stranger thing to be told

big billiam- mysterious

indiana mike- my turn? do i have to ask anyone specifically

flat stanley- just someone who hasn't gone yet

indiana mike- ok derry mike

there's a bEe?- yes indiana mike

indiana mike- would you rather have psychokinesis

there's a bEe?- ooh

indiana mike- or be telepathic

big billiam- thats a good ass question

big dad ritch- those are big ass words

flat stanley - look em up

big dad ritch- i know what they mean. i'm smart

eight nights at eddies- idk what they mean

indiana mike- psychokinesis is like matilda

big dad ritch- telepathy is what we have

big billiam- uhhhhh rich

big dad ritch- no shh watch this

big dad ritch- oh i love matilda

eight nights at eddies- oh i love matilda

big billiam- how did u send those at the EXACT SAMA ETIME

benjamin button- i hate you both honestly

beverly hills chihuahua- they r too in synch

benjamin button- nsynch

big dad ritch- stop lusting over boybands ben

eight nights at eddies- stop lusting after boybands ben

big billiam- AGAIN

there's a bee?- i dont like this im going with matilda powers

indiana mike- good choice

flat stanley- but now we can't have conversations in our heads :(

there's a bee?- we can have conversations out loud babe

fat stanley- :)

indiana mike- aww

big billiam- i hate this

beverly hills chihuahua- hanlon it's your turn

there's a bEe?- ben would you rather have normal friends or punch richie

big dad ritch- heyyy

benjamin button- punch richie

big dad ritch- HEYYY

benjamin button- BECAUSE if normal friends means not you guys i don't want them 

big dad ritch- ok that's cute

big dad ritch- im still guarding my face next time i see you

eight nights at eddies- I'll beat your ass if you punch my man

beverly hills chihuahua- wowie

benjamin button- OK! my turn! beverly my sweet angel would you rather have a cupcake or ice cream

beverly hills chihuahua- cupcake! 

benjamin button- ok im omw :)

indiana mike- AWW

\--

11:26 pm

big dad ritch- hey indiana mike you get here 2morrow right

indiana mike- yep :)

big dad ritch- cool welcum 2 derri

benjamin button- richie go to fuckinf sleep Blease

\--

_richie does not eat dog poop_

12:34 pm

big billiam- mike is moving here oday im meeting him in 23 hours and 26 minutes dont fucking talk to me

\--

11:27 am

beverly hills chihuahua- good luck bill!! lowkey wish i was working :/

benjamin button- do you want any of us there?

big dad ritch- ^ i can be at the shop in .2 seconds

big billiam- thanks bev :) and no i wanna do this alone

\--

_private message - big billiam and eight nights at eddies_

11:32 am

eight nights at eddies- I'm very proud of you :) You're going to be amazing and Mike is going to really like you

big billiam- thank you eddie <3

big billiam- i just realized i have no idea what he looks like

eight nights at eddies- I'm sure he'll be gorgeous :)))

\--

_richie does not eat dog poop_

11:55 am

big billiam- richie i see you

eight nights at eddies- Why are you in my house

big billiam- ??????? he's at the shop

big billiam- rich i thought i told you not to come

big dad ritch- im at eddies

big billiam- no you’re not

big billiam- you’re sitting at our table in bev's coffeeshop

eight nights at eddies- I am actually sitting on him right now

benjamin button- TMI

eight nights at eddies- Grow up, Ben

big dad ritch- idk what ur on bill im at eds

big billiam- suuure

big billiam- i have proof im omw to talk to u

big billiam- jsyk im a little pissed (:

\--

1:37 pm

big billiam- FUCK

big billiam- IMDIAMA MIKE LOOKS JYSR LIKE RICHIE

big billiam- THE FIRST THINF I SAID TO HIM WAS RUXHIE WHERE TF ARE UR GLASSRS

big billiam- he looked at me like i was Crazy

big dad ritch- wtffff

eight nights at eddies- I don’t believe you...

big billiam- (selfie attachment- bill and mike)

flat stanley- WHAT THE FUCK

flat stanley- THERES ANOTER ONE

eight nights at eddies- HOLY FUCK

eight nights at eddies- IF I WASN'T WITH RICHIE RN I WOUOD SWEAR HE WAS WITH YOU

beverly hills chihuahua- i am shitting myself

benjamin button- HOLY ISNESNNWJWKW

there's a bee?- i cannot believe this

flat stanley- im crying right now is this real life

there's a bee?- holy shit

beverly hills chihuahua- i qm actually scraming

eight nights at eddies- Oh my godddddd

big dad ritch- ?

big dad ritch- he deadass looks nothing like me

eight nights at eddies- Richie? Is you blind??

big dad ritch- without my glasses yeah lol

big dad ritch- but im wearing them rn

flat stanley- richie you two hve the same face

big dad ritch- ok lol

big dad ritch- why are we focusing on how indiana mike looks Nothing like me and not on how BILLS DATE WENT

beverly hills chihuahua- oh fuck yeah

big billiam- :)

big billiam- i spent a good most of the date internally losing my shit and he sked what was wrong and i told him that he looks jUST like richie

big dad ritch- whatd he say

big billiam- he asked for a pic and i showed him and he said he didnt see it

eight nights at eddies- Dummy

big billiam- anyway after i moved past tjhat he was really sweet and funny and i stuttered a lot tbh bc a part of me still believes i just went a date with richie

big billiam- but he was very patient and talked about his family an friends and he is SO PRECIOUS i like this boy sm....

flat stanley- hhmmmmmmm

eight nights at eddies- Hmmmm

flat stanley- first he steals MY mans name

eight nights at eddies- Then he steals MY mans face...

big billiam- more than just his face guys they are the same height same body type same hair same voice

big billiam- the only thing dfferent is the eyesight because indiana mike can see

big dad ritch- wow

eight nights at eddies- You just said that you're blind

there's a bEe?- i still can't get past that selfie

benjamin button- ive been lookingb at it for 5 minutes 

beverly hills chihuahua- I guess Will relly has never met richie... im crying real tears rn this is crazy

\--

_lettuce (beverly hills chihuahua, big dad ritch, big billiam)_

2:06 pm

big billiam- can we hang out tonight

big dad ritch- sure! 

big dad ritch- you ok?

beverly hills chihuahua- are we gonna smoke?

big billiam- maybe

big billiam- we'll see

big billiam- and im ok im a little stressed i wanna talk bout stuff

big dad ritch- of coure billy im always here for you

beverly hills chihuahua- me too :)

\--

_private message - big billiam and benjamin button_

2:19 pm

benjamin button- hey

benjamin button- i know it must be weird to like a guy who looks just like richie

benjamin button- but i say if you like him, if he's good for you, go for it <3 eddie won't be upset at all and richie won't either

big billiam- thank you ben you're a true friend

big billiam- it did feel a bit weird idk what's gonna happen but i like him and i think he likes me???

big billiam- so fingers crossed

benjamin button- fingers crossed

\--

_private message - big billiam and eight nights at eddies_

2:37

eight nights at eddies- I really don't mind that he looks just like Richie you should still date him

eight nights at eddies- If you want to. He has my blessing. Richie's too.

eight nights at eddies- I am gonna cook you in the group chat 24/7 though because this is hilarious

big billiam- <3<3<3<3

\--

_private message - indiana mike and will the wise_

2:37 pm

indiana mike- WILL HE IS SO CUTE

will the wise- Bev texted me asking if I know Richie??

indiana mike- haha yeah bill says that ii look just like him but i saw a picture and don't see it

will the wise- I'm gonna ask her for a picture

indiana mike- :/

will the wise- hhhholllyyyyy crap mike! you look the same!!

indiana mike- will be supportive i went on a date with Bill not Richie :(

will the wise- right right right

indiana mike- i'll give the gc details soon I just wanted to tell you first :)

will the wise- wow bff goals. dustin lucas el max who??????/

indiana mike- i only know will byers

\--

_private message - indiana mike and big billiam_

3:29 pm

indiana mike- i had a good time today :)

big billiam- me too

big billiam- even if u look just like richie ur still cute

indiana mike- you looked pretty

indiana mike- good

indiana mike- pretty good

big billiam- you can call me pretty :)

\--

_richie does not eat dog poop_

3:34 pm

big billiam- (screenshot of that conversation they just had)

big billiam- HE S A KEEPER I M CRYING

big dad ritch- bill… finally has a man

eight nights at eddies- I am ecstatic

eight nights at eddies- Except this is a little awk you basically just called Richie cute and das my job :/

big dad ritch- no he Dint we dont look aLIKe

there's a bee?- SAME FACE

flat stanley- same hat!

benjamin button- same hat~~

beverly hills chihuahua- same hat !!

beverly hills chihuahua- same fucikng FACE

\--

_private message- big dad ritch and eight nights at eddies_

9:32 pm

eight nights at eddies- I wanna talk to you but I know you're busy :(

big dad ritch- im sorry babe :(

big dad ritch- we’re catfishing for man THOTS on omegle

eight nights at eddies- .... Sounds fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm such a professional writer here's a draft from the would you rather bit that i wrote at 4 am
> 
> Eddie- stanley would you rather eat ass or go to space  
> Stan- i cant think of a question my head is not hree  
> Astan- bill yours turns  
> Bill- congrations you done it
> 
> bmike fic comin up i'll prob do a chaptered fic so i can post sooner. feed me with comments they make me write faster :)


	9. furries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big dad ritch- they all low key hate me but thats life when ur the hottest one in the group ;)
> 
> big billiam- richie....
> 
> eight nights at eddies- Love you but we all know Bev is the hottest one
> 
> benjamin button- duh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter? long. was almost 2k before i added in the names. 
> 
> ao3 user vanishingbyler came up with the ship name wheelbrough for indiana mike and bill and i love that so it's the official ship name now!!!! if anyone wants 2 produce any wheelbrough content tag it on tumblr so i can see :)
> 
> this is kinda reddie centric i cant help it i love them. there is some mike angst tho but just kinda? 
> 
> also, the spacing is a bit off in some places but not too bad so sorry about that

_richie does not eat dog poop_

9:01 am

benjamin button- so bill do you think you're gonna keep going with indiana mike

flat stanley- yeah are you going to be able to be physically attracted to a guy who looks the same as richie?

big dad ritch- rude

big dad ritch- but we dnt look the same

big billiam- it won't be a big problem i had a crush on richie once and was only deterred by his personality

eight nights at eddies- come again for big fudge?

big billiam- i was only deterred by his personality

big dad ritch- aw billlll

eight nights at eddies- when did you like Richie??

big billiam- elementary school

big dad ritch- WAIT

big billiam- you were my 1st gay crush richie

big dad ritch- i'm crying that's so cute :''-)

big billiam- ok

there's a bEe?- so you're keeping him?

beverly hills chihuahua- he seems really nice

big billiam- i think he is

big billiam- but yeah i'm keeping him :)

\--

11:23 am

big dad ritch- so i accidentally backed into my moms car a little bit yesterday right

big dad ritch- and she comes out and shes half wasted and yelling at me

big dad ritch- and she goes ‘thats my car you stupid bitch!’

eight nights at eddies - Baby :(

flat stanley- maggie can choke

big dad ritch- nono there was a Point this is funny

there's a bEe?- how

big dad ritch- listen.

big dad ritch- so Today she comes into my room and shes totally wasted now

big dad ritch- and what someone says drunk is the truth right

big dad ritch- so she hugs me and says ‘im sowwy 3:’

big dad ritch- MY MOM IS A FURRY

eight nights at eddies- her and bowers would get along well

big dad ritch- i cant believe bowers is my dad now

flat stanley- maggie can still choke but i caanott believe… a whole furry…

benjamin button- hey what if being a furry is in ur genes

eight nights at eddies- Please god no

big dad ritch- i wuv u my wittle eddie

benjamin button- bye.

\--

_//huggles//_

12:43 pm

there's a bEe?- so when are we gonna meet you indiana mike

indiana mike- soon probably

indiana mike- my mom wants me to unpack more boxes today but i should be done by like 4

beverly hills chihuahua- i get off work at 4!!!

big dad ritch- i don't have a job

eight nights at eddies- Omg I wanna meet you so bad Indiana Mike 

eight nights at eddies- I wanna see Richie's twin

big dad ritch- i dont think we'll look the same

big billiam- they look the same

flat stanley- i dont know if i'll be able to handle two richies

big billiam- different personalitites

big billiam- very different

indiana mike- is that bullying me or richie

big dad ritch- me

big dad ritch- they all low key hate me but thats life when ur the hottest one in the group ;)

big billiam- richie....

eight nights at eddies- Love you but we all know Bev is the hottest one

benjamin button- duh

beverly hills chihuahua- i cant believe you rich

there's a bEe?- everyone knows this

big dad ritch- ok wow

big dad ritch- also if you all think indiana mike loks just like me then ur bullying him rn too sooo.... tea

flat stanley- i think my mike is the hottest one

eight nights at eddies- We know, Stanley

flat stanley- @indiana mike sorry if i gag when i see you sometimes richie just has that effect on me

there's a bEe?- if your personality is that different he shouldnt be queasy for long tho

big dad ritch- i am really feeling the hate in this gc tonight

big dad ritch- my mother is a FURRY please support me in these troubling times

indiana mike- oh no

indiana mike- bill is a furry

eight nights at eddies- We know :/ 

benjamin button- we love him anyway

big billiam- IM NOT A FURRY

big dad ritch- whats ur fursona

big billiam- this cool ass dragon figurine i found at michael's

beverly hills chihuahua- ...that was quick

big billiam- steer into the skid

big dad ritch- ok bill we get it u went to driving school

eight nights at eddies- That's a whole saying everyone knows

indiana mike- i dont have a license lol

big billiam- :0

big billiam- guess i have to teach you now

benjamin button- Do Not

beverly hills chihuahua- Let Bill Teach You

there's a bEe?- i will teach you

flat stanley- have mike do it or go to driving school

big dad ritch- i can

eight nights at eddies- Richie is actually a pretty good driver he's been teaching me a little

indiana mike- i'll decide once i get to know you guys

flat stanley- then you'll pick mike

big dad ritch- today is bully richie day

big dad ritch- see you @ 4ish indiana mike

\--

3:38 pm

indiana mike- cool im available rn

benjamin button- bev is still at work

benjamin button- she'll kill us all if we don't meet together

indiana mike- that's fair

big billiam- we can all go to the park across the street from the coffeeshop so bev can get there right when she's done

eight nights at eddies- Richie and I are already there lol that works for us

flat stanley- yay i love the park there r so many birds

there's a bEe?- :')

there's a bEe?- park is good

big billiam- i can pick you up indiana mike

indiana mike- thanks bill :))

indiana mike- see you all then!!

\--

4:07 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- IM ON MY WAY 

beverly hills chihuahua- IM SPRINTING TO YOU RN I THINK I SEE TWO RICHIES 

flat stanley- im sweatin bev they look exactly the same

big dad ritch- he's tripping we really dont

eight nights at eddies- They really do and I'm crying

\--

_richie does not eat dog poop_

8:21 pm

big billiam- what did u guys think of mike

there's a bEe?- him having the same face as richie is weird af but he’s awesome

big dad ritch- we dont look anything alike but i like him hes very nice bill i approve

eight nights at eddies- ?? you two have the same face

big dad ritch- his eyes are fucking tiny! 

big dad ritch- straight hair????

big dad ritch- not the same

flat stanley- richie he could be your twin

flat stanley- but i liked him a lot too he fits in so well

beverly hills chihuahua- he's so sweet!! deadass nothing like richie personality wise and he's so funny

there's a bEe?-he's really clever too

benjamin button- i got good vibes from him

beverly hills chihuahua- me too

benjamin button- go you bill

eight nights at eddies- Yes go you I like him a lot you best keep him

big billiam- i already said im gonna !!

\--

11:32 PM

big dad ritch- so u know how i am Incredible at voices

eight nights at eddies- No

flat stanley- no

big billiam- no

big dad ritch- wow

big dad ritch- im good at some

eight nights at eddies- i’ll actually give him that

flat stanley- your russian is pretty solid

there's a bEe?- i like his southern woman

beverly hills chihuahua- and the 89 year old smoker lady

big dad ritch- im not familiar with that voice

eight nights at eddies- Oh yeah that one is funny

beverly hills chihuahua- my husband died in ‘nam so i smoke 12 cigarettes for me and 12 for him every day to make up for all the cigarettes he cant smoke now

eight nights at eddies- He was MURDERED in the war in Vietnam back in '67

big billiam- i sometimes can still feel him with me

big dad ritch- who does this voice 

flat stanley- ^^

eight nights at eddies- Richie

big dad ritch- i do Not

beverly hills chihuahua- when you’re high or super tired or both

eight nights at eddies- it’s good until you slip back to Russian or southern or bad Brooklyn

big dad ritch- interesting 

big dad ritch- anyway so im good at voices

benjamin button- lol

big dad ritch- SO IM GOOD AT VOICES

big dad ritch- and i’ve been struggling to do shaggy from scooby doo right 

big dad ritch- cant do it

big dad ritch- WELL I HAVE NEWS

big dad ritch- i can do it when i run

there's a bEe?- ??????????

benjamin button- how did you figure this out

big dad ritch- i was practicing and i had a lot of ENERGY so i went on a run

big dad ritch- a fast run

big dad ritch- and kept practicing and i could DO IT

big dad ritch- not now tho im breathin too hard

benjamin button- i don’t believe u

benjamin button- ive heard your shaggy. it’s bad. 

big dad ritch- come running with me

benjamin button- thats funny

eight nights at eddies- I will I wanna hear it

big dad ritch- like, on my way!

beverly hills chihuahua- record it

flat stanley- are u really gonna run eddie

eight nights at eddies- Lol no

big billiam- u got that asthma 

big dad ritch- u git that ssjsj na

big billiam- oh no

beverly hills chihuahua- i think he’s running 

eight nights at eddies- He just said I got that ass ma

eight nights at eddies- Like the vine

big billiam- i hate u both

\--

_//huggles//_

11:58 pm

big billiam- mike i just realized you havent seen the worst thing in the world

indiana mike- and what is that

big billiam- richie and eddie

indiana mike- i have seen them tho

big billiam- not their fucking msgic

indiana mike- the telepathy?

indiana mike- ive seen that

benjamin button- fuck i forgot about that

flat stanley- me too

big billiam- no im talking about their ability to get a full sentence out of pure nonsense

flat stanley- it's terrible we have all tried but simply cannot

there's a bEe?- stan thought i was giving an octopus love from the both of us

beverly hills chihuahua- stan and i love you my teary octopus

indiana mike- i dont follow

big billiam- i need them to do an example

eight nights at eddies- I'm here

big dad ritch- ioi snttl  rinin g

eight nights at eddies- Oh that's easy

eight nights at eddies- I'm still running

big billiam- how was that easy

eight nights at eddies- ?? I just glanced and can tell

indiana mike- even i got it from that

big billiam- ugh go again rich

big dad ritch- ejfjfi ei gdppsd a raeti sjhss

eight nights at eddies- I'm not saying that, Richie

big dad ritch- bbsu toa reu

eight nights at eddies- No

indiana mike- what

flat stanley- i think theyre having a conversation

beverly hills chihuahua- looks like it

big dad ritch- fijmew ijllk dso mrjnedfd

eight nights at eddies- Ok

big dad ritch- hjtrg wwdfoitrnenssgfream pposacverr trewsyt

eight nights at eddies- Triggered

eight nights at eddies- The Fitnessgram Pacer Test

big billiam- can you please translate the rest

indiana mike- im shook

eight nights at eddies- Ugh fine

eight nights at eddies- First he said "Eddie is good at eating ass"

eight nights at eddies- And I said no so he said "But it's tru"

indiana mike- how in the shit....

big billiam- I KNOW

eight nights at eddies- Then I said no again so he said "fine I'll do another"

beverly hills chihuahua- not a fan

indiana mike- how long have they been dating??

eight nights at eddies- 8th grade

big billiam- 5th grade more like

big dad ritch- no bill you are confused i had my gaywakening in 5th grade we weren't basically married until 6th

eight nights at eddies- Idk why you had it then I was ugly af

big dad ritch- we all were but u were the cutest

indiana mike- wait so your middle school relationship lasted???????

eight nights at eddies- Yeah and it'll last longer

big dad ritch- i cant imagine life without my eds

big billiam- disgusting stop being sappy i just wanted indiana mike to see your weird translation shit

big dad ritch- goodnight bill, from richie and eddie

big billiam- DISGUST

\--

_private message - big billiam and indiana mike_

12:17 am

indiana mike- are you ever afraid richie and eddie will break up?

indiana mike- i've never really heard of middle school relationships lasting without the people breaking up and reuniting as adults

big billiam- richie and eddie are different

big billiam- derry is a small town and so it's realy common here for relationships to last

indiana mike- but what about college

big billiam- richie wants to move to cali to be a voice actor or radio personality and eddie says he'll be able to find a career wherever richie is

big billiam- why are you so worried?

indiana mike- i dated one of my closest friends in 8th and into 9th grade and everyone thought we'd last but we didn't and idk i dont wanna see them fall apart like she and i did

big billiam- hmm. why did you two break up?

indiana mike- neither of us were mentally prepared for a relationship. it was an odd situation but she was still adjusting to society as a whole and i... i dont wanna get deep

big billiam- get deep i don't mind

indiana mike- well i was kind of falling apart mentally and was super depressed and then will moved and after some serious talks with her dad and my sister and my sisters ex bf turned group mother, we realized we weren't cut out for dating

big billiam- well richie and eddie have been best friends since they were in diapers and they've always gone through everything together and have plans for their futures together

big billiam- and i know for a fact that richie will say his biggest fear is clowns or maybe being forgotten but really, it's losing eddie

big billiam- so you dont have to worry about them or our friend group or about me and you

indiana mike- thanks bill

indiana mike- i had a lot of fun with you and your friends today

big billiam- we had a lot of fun too they like you a lot

indiana mike- good. i like them too

indiana mike- goodnight bill <3

big billiam- goodnight, mike <3

big billiam- and mike?? they're your friends too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk why i keep writing about furries it just happens.
> 
> wheelbrough fic otw expect chapter one sometime next week!!
> 
> tumblr: toes-ier


	10. hhhh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big dad ritch- ok 1. shut up
> 
> beverly hills chihuahua- is there gonna be a 2
> 
> big dad ritch- 2. shut up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the letter Q is useless. 
> 
> i made schedules for all of them to keep everything sorted out and i based them off my overachiever school where anyone who takes fewer than 4 ap classes each year is kinda stupid so yeah.
> 
> avengers grimm is honestly iconic its bad but good and not on netflix anymore what a tragedy
> 
> also dead ass 2 days ago i said i wouldnt include the stranger things kids but uh. i did just that. sorry for the lack of creativity in their names.

_//huggles//_

12:11 pm

eight nights at eddies- The letter Q is useless and should be deleted.

big dad ritch- eds? what?

eight nights at eddies- It’s fucking Useless, Richie. It has no purpose.

flat stanley- but it does have a purpose

flat stanley- the qu sound

eight nights at eddies- Nope!!! Not important!!!

indiana mike- how would we write without it

eight nights at eddies- Ok tell me how many times you use q in a day.

benjamin button- not many tbh

eight nights at eddies- Exactly!!! Deleting it won’t be a problem

beverly hills chihuahua- I agree with eddie

eight nights at eddies- Thank you Bev :)

big dad ritch- but what about the qu sound

eight nights at eddies- Replace it with kw

beverly hills chihuahua- ^^^^^

flat stanley- but that’s 2 letters in place of 1

beverly hills chihuahua- but you always have to use U with Q

eight nights at eddies- You never use Q by itself so you’re not adding letters

eight nights at eddies- Queen to kween

beverly hills chihuahua- squid to skwid

eight nights at eddies- Quote to kwote

beverly hills chihuahua- squaa to skwaa

big dad ritch- i hate that this makes sense

flat stanley- i think q is useful

indiana mike- yeah q is just doing its best

benjamin button- i mean they kinda have a point

there’s a bEe?- but what about names like Tariq

eight nights at eddies- Tarik

big billiam- ok but foreign languages

benjamin button- yeah you’re in french what about that

eight nights at eddies- Pourquoi??? = Pourkwoi??

beverly hills chihuahua- Porqué?? = Porké??

flat stanley- just… no

indiana mike- that looks So Wrong

benjamin button- it does looks weird but that’s just because we’re all accustomed to seeing q

big dad ritch- it looks like shes trying 2 say pokemon

flat stanley- hahahaha

indiana mike- yeah i stand by Q

eight nights at eddies- I’m never using that letter again

flat stanley- what about school

eight nights at eddies- Except for in school because I don’t think any of our teachers would be happy with me

big billiam- what about that gym teacher

eight nights at eddies- What gym teacher

flat stanley- oh yeah he does stuff for band too

there’s a bEe?- i think he’s in charge of our study hall period remember the beginning of the year before we became TA’s

beverly hills chihuahua- theyre tryng to trick you eddie dont fall for it

eight nights at eddies- Oh I see what they’re doing. I’m not a fool.

indiana mike- who??

big dad ritch- coach q

eight nights at eddies- Coach Kwinton

flat stanley- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

there’s a bEe?- THAT IS THE UGLIEDT FUCKIGN THING

indiana mike- I SNORTED

big billiam- EDDIE please just accept the q

eight nights at eddies- I WILL NOT

beverly hills chihuahua- THTA NAME IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE

benjamin button- ok i could go either way on the usefulness of q but jfc that looks awful

eight nights at eddies- What, Kwinton?

big dad ritch- Eddie Blease It Doesnt Work

eight nights at eddies- Ok but that’s just because it’s a name and was created in a q accepting time

beverly hills chihuahua- its all society, you guys

flat stanley- im going to have an aneurysm

\--

3:44 pm

flat stanley- indiana mike have you gotten your schedule yet

indiana mike- yeah it just came in today

big dad ritch- oooh show us

indiana mike- ok

indiana mike- i have 1st period AP Physics

big dad ritch- hahahaha i took that last year and the teacher is literally insane

indiana mike- uh oh

indiana mike- will has it that period though so sick

indiana mike- 2nd period french, 3rd period AP Lang, 4th period study hall, 5th period APUSH, 6th period AP Calc, and 7th period AP Computer Science

eight nights at eddies- Oh cool you have french with me, Richie, Mike, and Ben :)

indiana mike- nice !!

big billiam- !! you have 5th period apush!! 

indiana mike- yes! ?

big billiam- we all have that class and that means you have the same lunch as us

big dad ritch- why did everyone take a study hall but meee im so dumbbbb

beverly hills chihuahua- you didnt take one because you had so many smart people classes to take

indiana mike- what's the calc teacher like

big dad ritch- i dislike her but she adores me

benjamin button- jones is the lang teacher he is scary

there’s a bEe?- homicidal and a weeb

indiana mike- u hhhhhhhhhhhh

beverly hills chihuahua- at least you dont have stevenson

big billiam- that man wants richie dead

eight nights at eddies- That man is an entire asshole

indiana mike- what does he teach

benjamin button- ap anatomy

big dad ritch- i dont even Need that class i already have like 40 science credits and we only need 3

flat stanley- hes a butt and not even a good teacher dont take anatomy

big dad ritch- also the frecnh teacher makes me. suicidal.

eight nights at eddies- Yeah you're gonna get tired of Richie in french real quick

indiana mike- oh no is she bad

benjamin button- she's really nice but is annoying and not a very good teacher

big dad ritch- she sounds Exactly like my mother

flat stanley- yikes

indiana mike- is that bad??

big dad ritch- hhh yes my mother is insane shes a furry and has been sober 1 time this month

indiana mike- please tell me the french teacher is sober at school

eight nights at eddies- yeah but she is just that annoying

big billiam- I also think richie doesnt like her because he sucks at french

benjamin button- he really does its kinda funny

big dad ritch- ok 1. shut up

beverly hills chihuahua- is there gonna be a 2

big dad ritch- 2. shut up

big billiam- i have lang and apush and calc with u and im a TA for the physics teacher :)))))

indiana mike- AWESOME

eight nights at eddies- Aww

indiana mike- oh how the turntables

eight nights at eddies- Fuck quick Rich we gotta be cute

big dad ritch- hhh eddie i love you youre the prettiest guy ive ever seen

big billiam- thats not aww material

big dad ritch- FUCK

big dad ritch- eds do you need any help with math hw i can give  you a kiss whenever youre right

eight nights at eddies- Sure baby I do need help and kisses is motivation I will try my hardest to get them all correct

there’s a bEe?- that was the hardest reach

flat stanley- you cant be cute on purpose it has to just Happen

big dad ritch- ffffffff

\--

5:11 pm

big dad ritch- fkaefnlknjv the end is near, im not living past this day

flat stanley- what hap

big dad ritch- i was leaving my room and had already left when i remembered to close my door so i turned to close it

big dad ritch- but i guess i spun too fast bc i started to fall down and so i grabbed my door frame to keep me up 

flat stanley- yikes

big dad ritch- Im Not Done

big dad ritch- Except my leg did not stop spinning or falling with me so i slammed my foot into the door frame w/ all the might in my leg

big dad ritch- so now my entire body is broken and i am laying on the hall floor, typing with 1 hand, while the other clutches my dead foot

big dad ritch- and now sc isnt loading this is fine

beverly hills chihuahua- sorry but i'm laughing

big dad ritch- suure laugh it up bev but it wont be funny when i lose our 530 day streak

beverly hills chihuahua- DO WE HAVE THE HOURGLASS I WILL LOG INTO YOUR ACCOUNT TO SAVE US

big dad ritch- no we are good

eight nights at eddies- You don't have his login info

beverly hills chihuahua- no but i could get it

eight nights at eddies- Do you need help baby

eight nights at eddies- I can come over with ice or an ace bandage

big dad ritch- blease

big dad ritch- im not getting up until i am forced to

indiana mike- this is aw material

there’s a bEe?- it has to Happen, like we said

eight nights at eddies- :)

big dad ritch- is it only aw when im dying

flat stanley- yes

\--

_richie does not eat dog poop_

9:32 pm

benjamin button- i like big Butts and i cannot lie

beverly hills chihuahua- you other brothers cant deny

benjamin button- when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist

beverly hills chihuahua- and a round thing in your face you get

benjamin button- SPRUNG

flat stanley- are you watching friends without me???????

benjamin button- no comment

there’s a bEe?- wow i thought what we had was Special

eight nights at eddies- The betrayal...

beverly hills chihuahua- its date nite

big dad ritch- actually its sleepover night and you 2 bailed on us

big billiam- yeah we could be watching it all together but instead i am 5th wheeling while watching fuckinf Avengers Grimm again

beverly hills chihuahua- hahahaha

big billiam- i hate this movie

eight nights at eddies- I love this movie

there’s a bEe?- me too its so fun

flat stanley- shhh i wanna know what happens

big dad ritch- rumplestiltskin can get it

big dad ritch- daddy iron john too :P

eight nights at eddies- Mmmmm Iron John

benjamin button- i wish i was there with you guys rn but also I'm glad to be with bev

beverly hills chihuahua- god all the women in that movie are so hot

benjamin button- ^^^^^

big billiam- I hate all of you so much

\--

_private message - big billiam and indiana mike_

9:58 pm

big billiam- have you ever seen avengers grimm

indiana mike- no?

indiana mike- should i??

big billiam- NO

big billiam- it is awful and all of my stupid ugly friends love it and i crave death

indiana mike- will is over and we are watching good television you could join us

big billiam- god please

indiana mike- cool here's my address (location attatched)

\--

_richie does not eat dog poop_

10:06 pm

big billiam- i know i said i was going to the bathroom but im actually going to mike's to watch good tv with him and will peace out losers

beverly hills chihuahua- im laughing

big dad ritch- BLASPHEMY

flat stanley- we have a traitor in our midst...

benjamin button- wait whose house are you at

big dad ritch- BILLS

big billiam- dont trash the place plz

eight nights at eddies- Bill you fat cow ihy

big billiam- ok

\--

_the partie (madmax, dust a nut, i am your father (lucas), elven, will the wise, indiana mike)_

10:10 pm

will the wise- hey just thought I'd let you all know that mike is a little Bitch

elven- why

will- he invited bill to movie night at 10 pm

indiana mike- ok! he was 5th wheeling and being forced to watch a bad movie

dust a nut- but movie night, Mike

i am your father- movie night is sacred

indiana mike- but bill is cute

madmax- disgusting

indiana mike- shut up he's here

elven- cute

\--

_//huggles//_

11:21 am

big dad ritch- how was your movie night. traitors.

indiana mike- i assume he means me and bill

eight nights at eddies- You assume right. traitors. 

big billiam- hey. thats what you get for making me watch fuckin avengers grimm, the worst movie on the planet

flat stanley- fine. know what we're watching next week?

big dad ritch- i do.

benjamin button- me too

eight nights at eddies- Bill look what you did

there’s a bEe?- bill i s2g

indiana mike- what

flat stanley- we're watchng the 1D movie

big dad ritch- you have to pay penance! for your betrayal

eight nights at eddies- Why do we all have to pay as well

indiana mike- hhh you guys like 1D?

benjamin button- yes i love them

indiana mike- ... dont tell anyone but they are my guilty pleasure

big dad ritch- YES

big billiam- MIKE

there’s a bEe?- MIIKKEEEE

flat stanley- YES

indiana mike- DONT TELL ANYONE

indiana mike- not Even will

beverly hills chihuahua- why notttt

indiana mike- nobody knows but you guys now

flat stanley- then you're watching the 1D movie with us

indiana mike- i snuck out to see that in theater so many times...

big dad ritch- bithc me too! the fuck!

benjamin button- a masterpiece

beverly hills chihuahua- I'm not looking forward to friday because they always cry 

big dad ritch- i'll bring tissues :)

eight nights at eddies- Ugh

\--

_richie does not eat dog poop_

2:43 pm

big billiam- FUCKWE HAVE A LANG ESSAY DUE MONEDAY

big dad ritch- that was easy

there’s a bEe?- no it the fuck wasn't the prompt made no sense

big dad ritch- no its easy you just pick a side and argue it

flat stanley- where does it say that.

eight nights at eddies- The prompt it just an Obama quote

big dad ritch- yeah and you choose a side

benjamin button- what are the sides

big dad ritch- ugh you guyssss

big dad ritch- its a quote saying that we should delete summer break and have more frequent mini breaks right????

beverly hills chihuahua- yeah..

big dad ritch- So Obvoiusly we have to choose whether or not we agree with that statement and write the essay on that

big billiam- "obviously"

there’s a bEe?- well the thought of no summer break made me want to vom so i know which side im choosing

big dad ritch- same for me but i qualified

eight nights at eddies- Uhhh Rich picture being in school in July

beverly hills chihuahua- we would actually die

big dad ritch- yeah but you cant just argue 'i dont wanna' you need some solid basis

eight nights at eddies-HHHHhhhhhhhhhh

big dad ritch- i will help anyone who needs it smh

big billiam- coffeeshop??????? 

there’s a bEe?- yes pls i would like assistance

big dad ritch- fffine but im poor someone has to buy me a latte

eight nights at eddies- I got you baby

beverly hills chihuahua- thank u richie i owe u my Life

\--

_private chat - will the wise and indiana mike_

will the wise- mike im crying

will the wise- bill and his friends are all at the coffeeshop working on an essay and i saw richie irl for the first time and thought he was you

indiana mike- we dont-

indiana mike- ok

will the wise- you do.

will the wise- i am sobbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i fuckinh hate my french teacher i dont think im gonna make it i may actually hurt her.
> 
> wheelbrough ch 1 on wed :) hold me to that
> 
> this fic has consumed me. as i was laying on the floor clutching my foot, i was thinking of who would stub all five of their toes in one swift, hard kick like i did. of course it was richie.


	11. 2 platelets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big billiam- be nice to staniel he is emo
> 
> flat stanley- wowwww
> 
> there's a bEe?- i dont care if you’re emo stan :)
> 
> flat stanley- rawr :P :3
> 
> benjamin button- ok it is bed time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got a bit off schedule bc WHEELBROUGH FIC CHAPTER ONE IS OUT but back 2 regularly scheduled programming now that ive got that more set up. go read it. please. also... a series?? owo what's this? what could it mean? 
> 
> there's some talk of a blood disorder in this that i have and im p asymptomatic but my thumb did sieze up and i looked it up and little muscle spasm things have been recorded as symptoms so :P (whenever i do the :P im meaning the tongue emoji)
> 
> **i accidentally fuqed up when putting in their names and the mikes were a tad mixed up but that is repaired now

_richie does not eat dog poop_

8:38 pm

big dad ritch- hey i copped 3 cartons of ice cream do u dare me to eat them all right now

eight nights at eddies- Please don’t

big dad ritch- ok i mean i guess if that’s what u want i will lol

big billiam-- richie you will die

big dad ritch- i can’t believe you guys are making me do this wow

benjamin button- RICHE NO

big dad ritch- half a carton !

eight nights at eddies- I’m leaving you

big dad ritch- guess i’ll drown my sorrows in this 2nd carton of ice cream

flat stanley- what size are they because i don’t trust you and what if they’re those tiny one bite cartons

big dad ritch- (attached image- three large buckets, one empty, one full, one with a spoon in it)

flat stanley- yeah lol you’re going to die

eight nights at eddies- Why are you doing this

big dad ritch- i am a grown man and i can drink three buckets of ice cream like soup if i want to

beverly hills chihuahua- are you high

big dad ritch- no but i fuccin wish

beverly hills chihuahua- he’s going to die

big dad ritch- im done with 2 !! i can wash the cartons and put stuff in them

benjamin button- hey rich when you say you copped them what does that mean

big dad ritch- it does not mean i stole them if that is what you are asking

big billiam-- he stole them

eight nights at eddies- >:(

big dad ritch- you made my man mad stop exposing me

eight nights at eddies- Eat your ice cream

flat stanley- mad eddie is my favorite eddie

benjamin button- eddie he’s going to die

eight nights at eddies- :/

big dad ritch- damn

big dad ritch- i can’t believe im almost done this is homophobia i want more ice cream

there's a bEe?- natural selection is coming for you richie

eight nights at eddies- I hope it does

there's a bEe?- you say that like you won’t go running over when richie starts crying about his stomach hurting

eight nights at eddies- blocked

there's a bEe?- you sound like stan

flat stanley- blocked

there's a bEe?- 2 down 4 to go

there's a bEe?- then i’ll be free

big billiam-- uh?? blocked?

beverly hills chihuahua- wow Blocked

there's a bEe?- come on benny boy

benjamin button- but i like mike

big billiam-- he just called you benny boy

benjamin button- you right #blocked

there's a bEe?- RICHIE

big dad ritch- i just threw up

big dad ritch- are we all blocking mike? i like mike im not blocking him

there's a bEe?- owo you thwew up ??

big dad ritch- BLOVKED

there's a bEe?- :)

eight nights at eddies- i want to burn my eyes

eight nights at eddies- Richie do you want me to come over

big dad ritch- yes please :(

big billiam- :)

\--

_//huggles//_

9:04 pm

flat stanley- hey indiana mike you’re the only real mike now

beverly hills chihuahua- phew i’m so glad there won’t be confusion over that anymore

indiana mike- what did mike h do

there's a bEe?- i’m blocked

indiana mike- why tho

big billiam- he a nasty

benjamin button- he called me benny boy

benjamin button- canceled !

flat stanley- i only know mike wheeler

beverly hills chihuahua- mike is my bfflflflfl

indiana mike- it feels weird being called just mike

indiana mike- even my indiana friends call me indiana mike

big billiam- i don’t call you indiana mike irl

indiana mike- tru

indiana mike- im used to it already tho idc

flat stanley- thats good because its sticking

indiana mike- where are the weirdos

beverly hills chihuahua- jdbvcdfd

flat stanley- richie and eddie???

indiana mike- yeah richie is always active and he hasn’t said 1 thing all night

benjamin button- ahahhahaha

flat stanley- richie is dead now

big billiam- he’s gonna feel so bad tomorrow…

im - what he do

there's a bEe?- i like how you know he did something and that he’s not just sick

there's a bEe?- he ate 3 cartons of ice cream

indiana mike- wow he really is dustin

flat stanley- hey no offense but i never want to meet this dustin i can barely handle you having the same face as richie

flat stanley- idk if i could handle someone with the same personality.

eight nights at eddies- Stop bullying Richie

eight nights at eddies- also Mike H is uncanceled because Indiana Mike called me a weirdo

there's a bEe?- :D

indiana mike- D:

big dad ritch- i accept all mikes

there's a bEe?- :D

indiana mike- :D

\--

10:42 pm

big billiam- indiana mike text us when u get to school 2morrow so we can all find u and give you a quick tour before school

beverly hills chihuahua- bill if u ask mrs. jane she might let u give indi mike the tour during 1st because you’re her TA and he’s new

big dad ritch- hhahahah

big billiam- good one

big billiam- she won’t let us leave

indiana mike- i am pretty good with adults…

indiana mike- that’s a lie im very awkward with them but i can get what i want !!

there's a bEe?- mysterious

indiana mike- ;)

benjamin button- ok its 11 goodnight everyone go tf to sleep

indiana mike- ok?? Goodnight

benjamin button- What Did I jUst Say

beverly hills chihuahua- he’s new ben he doesnt know

indiana mike- what do i not know

big dad ritch- ben is a bully at night. Once hes decided its bedtime you cant text or youll die

indiana mike- noted

benjamin button- good nighgt

\--

6:54 am

indiana mike- ok i just got to the school and i have 0 idea where to go haha

big billiam- i will come find you

flat stanley- we are all with him

indiana mike- cool there are so many peoplE

indiana mike- why did some kid just yell TRASHMOUTH and throw a wad of grass at me

big dad ritch- haha peter is such a hoot he’s my man ;) if u know what i mean and throws grass at me

big dad ritch- idk why he did it to u smh

big billiam- you know damn well why

indiana mike- i dont

beverly hills chihuahua- the

benjamin button- same

big billiam- face

big dad ritch- :/

there's a bEe?- shut up richie

eight nights at eddies- We see you Indiana Mike

indiana mike- nice

\--

8:03 am

indiana mike- mrs. jane is crazy

big dad ritch- ooh spill the tea

big billiam- why did i willingly put myself in her classroom again

indiana mike- my FIRST DAY and she makes me do a super advanced physics problem that nobody in the room knows how to do and yells at me when i cant do it

big dad ritch- sounds right

indiana mike- i was in this class in indiana but shes acting like i should be so advanced

big billiam- the face he made when she called him to the board… you guys…

indiana mike- i was Disgusted

big dad ritch- prepare for more disgust in french

\--

_private message - big dad ritch and big billiam_

8:49 am

big dad ritch- hey just fyi mike is like fluent in french

big dad ritch- hot accent and all

big billiam- hhnnnnnnnn

\--

_//huggles//_

8:57 am

eight nights at eddies- Madame Bernard nearly shat herself when Richie and Indiana Mike walked in

there's a bEe?- she looked faint

benjamin button- and she was very distraught that his name is mike so now she has 2 mikes and 2 identical kids

big dad ritch- maybe since she thinks we look alike indi mike can pretend to be me while presenting so she hates me less and i dont fail

indiana mike- but wouldn’t that mean you have to be me

big dad ritch- no it means we switch shirts on the dl between presentations and you go twice but you wear my glasses and clothes for one

benjamin button- that is too much for 1 presentation

benjamin button- you’ll get a freaking 85 no matter what anyway

indiana mike- ?

big dad ritch- the only grade she gives is 85 unless its to fuckigm gr*eta

eight nights at eddies- How do you censor a word wrong

there's a bEe?- oh richie

flat stanley- dumba$$

\--

11:01 am

indiana mike- help im at the apush room and no one is here

big billiam- oh no

there's a bEe?- im laughing

beverly hills chihuahua- omggg

benjamin button- hahah

eight nights at eddies- We have first lunch so we go straight to the cafeteria instead of to class

beverly hills chihuahua- probably should have told him that

benjamin button- probably

indiana mike- idk where the cafeteria isssssss

there's a bEe?- WE JUST SHOWED YOU THIS MORNING

indiana mike- I FORGOT

big billiam- im omw to the classroom to get u

indiana mike- my hero

\--

12:54 pm

indiana mike- hey not to be racist but

big dad ritch- are you in calc

indiana mike- yeah

indiana mike- what the fuck is she saying

there's a bEe?- honestly? Nobody knows

indiana mike- does she understand english

indiana mike- i told her that im new and she looked so confused and just nodded and said ok

benjamin button- yeah shes like that

flat stanley- did she talk about the bitch i mean beach in your class

indiana mike- YES she’s going on about how we’re sitting in chairs on the bitch and we need our drink! About trig graphs????

indiana mike- how is this AP Calculus

indiana mike- why are we doing this

there's a bEe?- shes wild

big dad ritch- i have not paid attention 1 singular second that i have been in there

benjamin button- same

indiana mike- honestly. I cant pay attention theres just something about her voice i physically cannot listen

there's a bEe?- get a tutor

flat stanley- ^^

\--

_private message - big billiam and indiana mike_

4:38 pm

indiana mike- i liked seeing you a lot at school

big billiam- me too :)

indiana mike- you and your friends are so kind

big billiam- not really lol but thanks

big billiam- we’re only nice because you are

there's a bEe?- awww

big billiam- :)

\--

_//huggles//_

8:43 pm

big billiam- i hate the scarlet letter how can a fuckgnf door represent human frailty

big dad ritch- hawthorne nuts over symbolism

big billiam- hawthorne can die

indiana mike- i think he already did

flat stanley- you think

there's a bEe?- it was written in 1850

big dad ritch- also its not the door that represents human frailty its the whole depressing prison

flat stanley- my mind is a whole depressing prison

eight nights at eddies- Ok edgy Stan

flat stanley- yeah that was too emo even for me

flat stanley- sounds like something bill would say

big billiam- im not em o

beverly hills chihuahua- you write poetry

big billiam- ben does too

benjamin button- i write poetry about my gf

benjamin button- you write poetry about a squirrel you almost ran over

big billiam- shut the fuck up that was 1 time

indiana mike- bill oml

big billiam- i hate everyone here

\--

9:28 pm

there's a bEe?- hm interesting

big dad ritch- what

there's a bEe?- my thumb just stopped working for a good whole minute

there's a bEe?- got all stiff and throbby then just drooped back to normal

big dad ritch- sounds like a finger boner

eight nights at eddies- Those don’t exist

big billiam- finger boner

flat stanley- mike wtf

flat stanley- thats not supposed to happen with thumbs

there's a bEe?- its ok now tho

there's a bEe?- just a crampy cramp per my blood disease

benjamin button- i forget your blood is fucked up sometimes

there's a bEe?- me too tbh

flat stanley- i don’t because he bleed so gddamb much like i accidentally stab him lightly with 1 tiny pencil and its fuckin niagra falls of blood from this one wond in his arm

indiana mike- accidentally stab him lightly

indiana mike- whats ur blood disease

there's a bEe?- thrombocytopenia babie

there's a bEe?- got like 2 platelets

eight nights at eddies- He has more than 2 platelets

there's a bEe?- idk man last time i went to the doctor and they robbed me of my blood they said i only had 2

eight nights at eddies- Don’t listen to him he has more than 2 platelets

there's a bEe?- ok they said like 50k or something idk the numbers mean nothing to me i dont pay attention

beverly hills chihuahua- so you dont care about why they drain you of blood

there's a bEe?- i just go and they take it and do a lil test and then it’s ‘yup! Still got that blood dease! So few platelets!’

indiana mike- i hate getting my blood stolen from my body

there's a bEe?- they always prick my fingers instead of needling me

flat stanley- and then he’s a whiny baby about hhis por fingers ffor so many days afterwards

big dad ritch- i can understand that tho finger pricking is hellish

benjamin button- i have baby veins

benjamin button- once they had to go thru all of my fingers because no blood was comin out and afte stabbing me 10 times they stabbed me many more tmes in the arm

eight nights at eddies- Can we please talk like normal people and not say shit like robbing or draining blood, needling, or stabbing

big billiam- have u met us lol

indiana mike- i mean i dont give doctors my own personal consent to take my blood i just sit down and they say ‘i am taking your blood now’

big billiam- do you go to a normal doctor

indiana mike- probably not

big dad ritch- karen has you up for some crack witch doctor

big billiam- why are you on first name basis with his mom

big dad ritch- eds tell your mom sorry, i have found another lover

beverly hills chihuahua- EWWWW

big dad ritch- what i make mom jokes all the time dont get freaky now

beverly hills chihuahua- NO

beverly hills chihuahua- YOU AND MIKE LOOK THE SSAME IF U AND HER DID IT SHE WOULD BE LOOKING AT HER SON

there's a bEe?- mm im throwng up now

flat stanley- how did we get from mike’s dick thumb to oedipus complex

big dad ritch- its not oedipus if we’re not related

big dad ritch- she’s not my mom so technically im not aroused by my mither

eight nights at eddies- You better not be aroused by Indiana Mike’s mother

big dad ritch- yes my love

flat stanley- gros

big dad ritch- WHOM ARE YOU CSLIING FAT

flat stanley- you

big billiam- ok

flat stanley- i was actually calling you gross but ok

benjamin button- gros means fat in french

flat stanley- i am aware

beverly hills chihuahua- killjoy

flat stanley- rude

big billiam- be nice to staniel he is emo

flat stanley- wowwww

there's a bEe?- i dont care if you’re emo stan :)

flat stanley- rawr :P :3

benjamin button- ok it is bed time

\--

_private message - big biliam and indiana mike_

6:22 am

indiana mike- you drive, right?

big billiam- yeah

indiana mike- do you think you could take me  to school today my mom wants to take holly to her first day

big billiam- of course! Youre on the way

big billiam- actually… i can take you every day if you want

indiana mike- ::::::)))))))))))

\--

_//huggles//_

10:12 am

big dad ritch- do we need our book for lang

flat stanley- idk maybe

big billiam- he mentioned something about the book yesterday but i obviously wasn’t listening so idk what he said

big dad ritch- ugh

big dad ritch- ill just go to my love and get it before

beverly hills chihuahua- love?

big dad ritch- ****locker

big dad ritch- i rely on suggested words and sometimes i am betrayed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hit next work to read chapter 1 of wheelbrough :) bill is emo
> 
> all school related stuff is based of my school im forcing these guys to live my life. my precal teacher has the thickest accent. yesterday she accidentally told the class that her ass is long. also, i hate the scarlet letter.


	12. 10 hour vine compilation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> flat stanley- god i love vine
> 
> there's a bEe?- i wanna jewish girl who go to.. Temple
> 
> there's a bEe?- and ReaD Her TOraH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> none of this went the way i expected it to. sorry about the vines i just lov vine so much and they would love it too.

_ //huggles// _

4:13 pm

benjamin button- i got 2 

benjamin button- lattes

benjamin button- one for me and the other for me

beverly hills chihuahua- is it buy one get one free

benjamin button- yes

eight nights at eddies- Richie we are going to Starbucks 

big dad ritch- WOOO

eight nights at eddies- THAT’S RIGHT

indiana mike- did they just act out a vine

there's a bEe?- QUINCY WE ARE GOIN IN A ROADTRIP

eight nights at eddies- We love vine

indiana mike- me too

flat stanley- i watched a 10 hour vine compilation

indiana mike- thats determination

big billiam- im 7 hours into it

benjamin button- vine is ok

big dad ritch- ben is dead :/

big dad ritch- indiana whats ur fave vine

big dad ritch- mine is ~fuck no babe! ypure gettin BACON

flat stanley- i like ‘im just gonna say it. I dont Care that you broke your elbow.’

big billiam- my fave is oh my GOD why cant u just take the freakin COMPLI MENT

eight nights at eddies- I cry every time I see ‘mmm lemme get a mickpick 2’

there's a bEe?- my favorite is obvious

there's a bEe?- hello my name is michael with a b and ive been afraid of insects all my li

flat stanley- stop stop stop

there's a bEe?- what

flat stanley- where is it. where’s the b

there's a bEe?- there’s  a bEe???

beverly hills chihuahua- otp

beverly hills chihuahua- my favorite is ‘mom i got an ab or tion’

indiana mike- my favorite isn’t that popular but its a guy and hes fake on the phone

indiana mike- one moment obama. we’ll have the lasa g na

indiana mike- mm. lasa g na 

big billiam- I LOVE THAT ONE

benjamin button- whats with the spacing

indiana mike- he pronounces the g in lasagna

flat stanley- god i love vine

there's a bEe?- i wanna jewish girl who go to.. Temple

there's a bEe?- and ReaD Her TOraH

big dad ritch- stop saying i look like chicken little! he’s a coward and im NOT a COWARD

eight nights at eddies- Road work ahead? Uh yeah, I sure hope it does

beverly hills chihuahua- honest;y i dont remember i was probably Fucked up. I was crazy back then hnuenuenuee

flat stanley- I WONT HESITATE

there's a bEe?- BITC H

big billiam- 2 broos chillin in a hot tuubb

indiana mike- 5 feet apart cause they’re Not Gay

big dad ritch- so no head?

eight nights at eddies- *Smashes phone, breaks skateboard*

beverly hills chihuahua- ben do you know 1 vine 

beverly hills chihuahua- all the couples are finishing each others vines

benjamin button- AHHH

beverly hills chihuahua- STOP i coulds dropped my CROISSANT

benjamin button- i just went with something vague hoping it was a vine

flat stanley- good choice

flat stanley- you can really just throw anything out there and make a vine

flat stanley- GUNSHOT

there's a bEe?- this is why mom doesnt FUCKING love you

flat stanley- see?

benjamin button- hmm

big dad ritch- this is a game now

big dad ritch- ben sends something random and we finish the vine

eight nights at eddies- I like this game

flat stanley- finally those 10 hours come in handy

benjamin button- achoo

indiana mike- nice, ron

big billiam- oh so im not allowed to sneeze now?

benjamin button- i hate this game

beverly hills chihuahua- keep going!

benjamin button- number four

eight nights at eddies- Way to go, Carl

big dad ritch- good one

benjamin button- you cant sit with us

benjamin button- there’ll be a vine with that

flat stanley- actually, MEGAN, i cant sit anywhere!! I have

there's a bEe?- hemorrhoids

benjamin button- mom

beverly hills chihuahua- what

indiana mike- i peein on myself

beverly hills chihuahua- you better not

indiana mike- ye as

beverly hills chihuahua- you betta not

benjamin button- why is that a vine

big dad ritch- its art

benjamin button- what did you say

there's a bEe?- whoever threw that paper, your moms a hoe!

benjamin button- kyle

indiana mike- what the FUCK is up kyle

big billiam- no, what did you say dude

flat stanley- what the FUCK

there's a bEe?- step the FUCK UP kyle

benjamin button- donut

flat stanley- back at it again at krispy kreme

benjamin button- ya boy

big dad ritch- ahaha, hey, its ya boi, uh,

there's a bEe?- skinny penis

benjamin button- i was thinking buzzfeed unsolved

big dad ritch- thats not a vine

benjamin button- tub

beverly hills chihuahua- im washing me and my clothes, bitch

indiana mike- she drunk as fuck

beverly hills chihuahua- im washin me and my clothes

benjamin button- taco

eight nights at eddies- YYEAASSSEASSSSS

big dad ritch- YEASASSSS

big billiam- I GOT 2 FREE TACOS

benjamin button- 23

indiana mike- no i cannot

there's a bEe?- yo whaddup im jared im 19

indiana mike- and i never fuckin learned how to read

benjamin button- rat

flat stanley- HZZZZZ

benjamin button- jelly beans

big dad ritch- to make a long fucking story short, i put a whole bag of jelly beans up my ass

eight nights at eddies- And I ain’t seen none of em yet.

indiana mike- ben here’s my fave vine video

indiana mike-  [ https://youtu.be/1vHEjDGfDwo ](https://youtu.be/1vHEjDGfDwo)

benjamin button- fine

benjamin button- richie and eddie if u wanna go to sbux you gotta hurry the buy one get one free ends at 5

big dad ritch- ok im in my car pedal to the metal

eight nights at eddies- Drive safely

indiana mike- i want sbux

big billiam- i can pick you up and we can go !

indiana mike- yes plzzz

flat stanley- michael

there's a bEe?- already in my car baby

beverly hills chihuahua- ok so everyone is getting starbucks but My bf is drinking both his lattes by himself

benjamin button- i’ll buy you 2 lattes

beverly hills chihuahua- its ok i get enough coffee from work

benjamin button- cakepops are buy one get one free too ill buy you FOUR

beverly hills chihuahua- i love u !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

indiana mike- this chat is so pure

eight nights at eddies- I love my friends

flat stanley- why don’t we all just meet up at starbucks honestly 

eight nights at eddies- That’s the plan, Stan

eight nights at eddies- There’s only one good one

eight nights at eddies- Richie refuses to drive in the one with the shitty parking lot

indiana mike- bill was just talking about the shitty parking lot at the sbux we’re not going to omg

beverly hills chihuahua- so we’re all going to the good one

flat stanley- yeah

-

_ private message - big billiam and indiana mike _

7:48 pm

indiana mike- hey i noticed that you and all the others have scars on the palms of your hands? What’s that all about

indiana mike- if you dont mind me asking

big billiam- its fine

big billiam- we all have them from a blood oath we made three ish years ago saying we’d all come back in 27 years to kill the clown if it turns out it really isnt dead

big billiam- hm interesting

indiana mike- thats… not what i was expecting

-

_ richie does not eat dog poop _

7:56 pm

big billiam- hello every one

big dad ritch- hi?

big billiam- the michael from indiana just asked me about our matching palm scars

big dad ritch- you mean our bff soulmate marks?

eight nights at eddies- They’re scars, Richie

eight nights at eddies- Why did he ask

big billiam- he just noticed them and was curious

big billiam- and without thinking i said

big billiam- “we all have them from a blood oath we made three ish years ago saying we’d all come back in 27 years to kill the clown if it turns out it really isnt dead”

big billiam- what

there's a bEe?- hey what the fukc

beverly hills chihuahua- what does that mean

big billiam- I DONT KNOW

flat stanley- i remember that oath tho wft

benjamin button- hnnnn

big dad ritch- i like them being soulmate marks more than killing a clown

big dad ritch- I DONT LIKE CLOWNS

eight nights at eddies- Me neither…

flat stanley- honestly I’m with richie rn i am not a fan !!!!!!

there's a bEe?- this is the worst…

big billiam- indiana mike is gonna think we’re CRAZY

\--

_ the parti _

7:59 pm

indiana mike- a mystery is brewin

madmax- you’re not in scooby doo

indiana mike- i know that

dust a nut- are we gonna get any details

indiana mike- no not until i know more

i am your father-- then why did you tell us

indiana mike- so you’d be aware that something is mysterious

will the wise- are you saying that there is something off about this town

indiana mike- yeah

will the wise- i hate this

elven- is derry bad?

indiana mike- im not sure

elven- are you safe?

indiana mike- yeah i think i am

will the wise- think

indiana mike- i Know we are safe but still

indiana mike- something happened

dust a nut- you’re a fake friend for not telling us more

indiana mike- :/

indiana mike- all i know is clown and summer of 2014

madmax- 2014 is cursed

dust a nut- you met us in 2014

madmax- exactly :/

elven- savage

-

_ private message - big billiam and indiana mike _

8:13 pm

big billiam- hey sorry about that

indiana mike- it’s ok

indiana mike- you mentioned that this would happen

big billiam- did i?

indiana mike- yeah you said abut summer after 7th grade

big billiam- oh

big billiam- huh.

big billiam- alright

indiana mike- alright

big billiam- goodnight then :) see you tomorrow

indiana mike- sleep well, bill <3

\--

_ //huggles// _

8:28 am

big dad ritch- god… is real

beverly hills chihuahua- where did this come from

eight nights at eddies- There’s a french sub today

big dad ritch- GOD. IS REAL

there's a bEe?- the sub thinks indiana and richie are related

big dad ritch- shut up mike

indiana mike- ^

big billiam- why are you texting us

indiana mike- the sub won’t let us talk

beverly hills chihuahua- but you can be on your phones?

benjamin button- no we are all crowded behind a row of laptops to hide them

big billiam- smart

flat stanley- why are you texting and not being on the laptops

indiana mike- mike and ben are the only ones with working laptops and they’re on them

eight nights at eddies- Some One didn’t charge his last night

big dad ritch- hes talking about himself

beverly hills chihuahua- ok well i gotta skeet i need to pay actual attention

flat stanley- yeah i’m about to have a quiz

big billiam- i don’t wanna risk jones taking my phone i gotta blast too

big dad ritch- fine we’ll get by on our own 

\--

_ groupchat (indiana mike, eight nights at eddies, big dad ritch) _

8:37 am

indiana mike- sooo

eight nights at eddies- What’s up with you

big dad ritch- you and bill official yet?

indiana mike- what no

eight nights at eddies- What’s with the what

indiana mike- we haven’t had a real date yet

big dad ritch- coffee meeting?

indiana mike- that was us meeting

eight nights at eddies- Do you like him?

indiana mike- .. yeah

indiana mike- does he like me?

big dad ritch- yeah

indiana mike- cool

eight nights at eddies- So you’ll be official soon????

indiana mike- i’ll ask him on a date sooon i just don’t know where

big dad ritch- he likes going on drives 

eight nights at eddies- On cool back roads

indiana mike- is that a date?

big dad ritch- its kinda his dream date

eight nights at eddies- Get some coffee or milkshakes and go on a drive

indiana mike- that’s a good idea

indiana mike- with the buy one get one free thing…

big dad ritch- YES!!

eight nights at eddies- Text him rn asking

indiana mike- fine fine

**big dad ritch named the chat bill is #1**

\--

_ private message - big billiam and indiana mike _

8:44 am

indiana mike- ik you’re busy buttt you can respond laterrr

indiana mike- do you want to go get lattes from starbucks and then go on a drive today?

indiana mike- richie and eddie say you like going on drives

indiana mike- and this would be a date

indiana mike- like a date date

big billiam- yes i would like to :D that sounds amazing

indiana mike- cool :)))) i’m excited

\--

_ richie does not eat dog poop _

8:46 am

big billiam- FUCK YES

big dad ritch- :’)

beverly hills chihuahua- what happened

eight nights at eddies- Bill and Indiana Mike are going on a date

flat stanley- finally

\--

_ bill is #1 _

8:48 am

big dad ritch- he’s excited

indiana mike- me tooo

indiana mike- ok ever since we played never have i ever…

big dad ritch- is this about me wanting to fight kindergartners…

big dad ritch- i know your mom heard about that bill told me she was concerned for your little sister

eight nights at eddies- Iconic

indiana mike- lol that was funny

indiana mike- but no it’s about eddie saying you were gonna adopt kids

eight nights at eddies- Oh yeah

big dad ritch- yeah?

eight nights at eddies- Not to get sappy but I plan on staying with Richie forever

big dad ritch- me too baby <3

indiana mike- so you guys wanna get married and have kids?

big dad ritch- definitely

eight nights at eddies- 100%

big dad ritch- ive kind of always wanted kids

eight nights at eddies- Me too. 

indiana mike- even as young as you are?

big dad ritch- yeah

big dad ritch- i want to learn from my parents mistakes so i can be the exact opposite of them

eight nights at eddies- Me too.

indiana mike- that’s so sweet

eight nights at eddies- Thanks <3

eight nights at eddies- What about you

indiana mike- I think so, yeah. I like taking care of people and ditto on the parents thing

big dad ritch- oh?

indiana mike- my dad does not give 1 heck about anything and my mom is really unhappy married to him so it’s a little rough, a little awk

indiana mike- i want my kids to have parents who love each other and who seem to actually want kids.

big dad ritch- thats sweet

eight nights at eddies- You’re going to be a great dad, Mike

big dad ritch- ooh while we r on the subject of children please for the love of all that is holy

big dad ritch- Do Not mention babies in front of ben hes bad baby fever since 7th grade

indiana mike- ok :)

eight nights at eddies- uh oh

\--

//huggles//

8:57am

indiana mike- hey ben i hear you like kids

benjamin button- hhhh HHHHH

big billiam- mike what have you done

big dad ritch- this is all my fault

eight nights at eddies- It is.

benjamin button- I LOVE BABIES

beverly hills chihuahua- mike you made him cry

beverly hills chihuahua- probably

there's a bEe?- mood ben but chill

flat stanley- INDIANA MIKE WYD

indiana mike- richie said not to so i had to

big dad ritch- fuck

big billiam- rich i s2g

benjamin button- im going thru my baby folder on ig and i’m weeping rn

there's a bEe?- bev you were right he is actually crying right now

\--

_ private message - benjamin button and beverly hills chihuahua _

9:00 am

beverly hills chihuahua- sigh

beverly hills chihuahua- rant about babies here so mike doesn’t encourage you

benjamin button- he’s right next to me he can encourage me irl

beverly hills chihuahua- well class will be over soon and he can’t enourage you next period

benjamin button- i guesss….

benjamin button- BABIES ARE SO CUTE

benjamin button- i want to be a teen mom

benjamin button- teen dad

beverly hills chihuahua- if i wasnt terrified of pregnancy i would be down with it benny

benjamin button- queen

beverly hills chihuahua- but tragically, i am, so we have to wait until we are adults and can adopt

benjamin button- a true tragedy

benjamin button- but there’s this baby i follow on ig

beverly hills chihuahua- a baby

benjamin button- her mom

benjamin button- but she’s SO TINY and is startig to giggle and her mom posts so mych of herr

benjamin button- i want.. A baby

beverly hills chihuahua- i know you do

beverly hills chihuahua- i want kids too

benjamin button- I Want A Child

beverly hills chihuahua- you gotta wait!

benjamin button- i might die

benjamin button- ok the bells about to ring i love you my sweet angel gf 

beverly hills chihuahua- love you too my gingerbread bf

benjamin button- that’s new

beverly hills chihuahua- gotta get in the holiday spirit

\--

//huggles//

11:34 am

benjamin button- heart attack is such a bop i miss 1d when will they return from war

big dad ritch- and im like OW

big dad ritch- im depressed 

indiana mike- i don’t remember those being the lyrics 

flat stanley- it’s how i sing them 

there’s a bEe?- o thought you were only allowed to talk about one direction in your 1d group chat

benjamin button- oops

flat stanley- oh hey indiana do u wanna be added to that

indiana mike- … yes

-

_ after five incredible years _

11:43 am

**flat stanley added indiana mike to the conversation**

indiana mike- nice name

big dad ritch- thanks

benjamin button- this is where we come to be depressed

flat stanley- jokes on them bc im always depressed

indiana mike- mood

indiana mike- so what do we think of liam’s new song

big dad ritch- you mean b*edroom flo*or?

indiana mike- that answers my question

flat stanley- it makes my ears bleed

benjamin button- like i love liam but god… that song is ugly

indiana mike- 100% agree. I haven’t listened to it the whole way through 

big dad ritch- b*ella th*orne is in the music video

flat stanley- richie please learn how to censor words correctly

big dad ritch- f*uc*k you stan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wheelbrough ch 2 is already at 4k and im not nearly done so haha. wednesday dont get here fast i have stuff 2 write before then.
> 
> also, i too, have a folder on instagram of babies. i have had baby fever since i was 12. im a lesbian but i would do it with a guy to get pregnant.


	13. fishy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> benjamin button- eggs scare me
> 
> flat stanley- explain
> 
> benjamin button- eggboy
> 
> flat stanley- that did not help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been a hot minute hasn't it? ive been focused on wheelbrough tbh
> 
> first text is me. i said 'dear god please dont let mme z** be at fucking school tomorrow' and then she was and i nearly hurt her :/.  
> lizard texts are real by my bff who lives in lizard infested tx. idk if maine has lots of lizards ive never been.  
> also... plotline? with the st kids? ish?  
> also also if u dont read my wheelbrough fic (u should tho...) whitehaven is the name of their fictional high school

_ //huggles// _

9:53 pm

big dad ritch- i desperately hope mme bernard never comes back so to try to be safe i decided sure i’ll pray a little just as a hey God can i have a favorrrr but 3 words in and i said fuck

eight nights at eddies- Dupid

benjamin button- you cursed us now she’s gonna be there 2morrow

indiana mike- richie no

flat stanley- you’ve only had her for one day

indiana mike- she was annoying af tho

big dad ritch- i just… hate her so much.

there's a bEe?- if she’s at school tomorrow it’s all your fault 

\--

_ bill is #1 _

11:32 pm

big dad ritch- soooo

indiana mike- what

eight nights at eddies- How’d the date gooo

indiana mike- hehe

indiana mike- it was rly nice

big dad ritch- official???

indiana mike- no! that was just our first date

big dad ritch- hhhhh

eight nights at eddies- Bill has been emo-ly single all his life ask him tf Out

indiana mike- all his life?

big dad ritch- he’s had a few people but 2 were a$$holes and 1 he didnt like

eight nights at eddies- That was a really emo month

indiana mike- aw poor bill

big dad ritch- ASK HIM 2 BE BF

indiana mike- not on the phone jeez

indiana mike- we’ll do another date and then mayhap…

eight nights at eddies- Not mayhap. You will.

indiana mike- alrigt!!

indiana mike- go to sleep ypu guys

big dad ritch- goodnight indiana michael, bill’s almost bf

eight nights at eddies- :D

\--

_ //huggles// _

7:01 am

**there’s a bEe? removed big dad ritch from the conversation**

indiana mike- but now he doesn’t know she’s here

eight nights at eddies- SHES AT SCHOOL TODAY

eight nights at eddies- FUSDJKVS

benjamin button- tell richie i hate him

eight nights at eddies- I just told him she's at school and he deadass started crying

eight nights at eddies- real tears

indiana mike- mood

there's a bEe?- you are both coming to class Do Not skip or youre getting cut

eight nights at eddies- ugh fine

eight nights at eddies- we were gonna get donuts :(

there's a bEe?- i dont care 

benjamin button- eddie can go get donuts but richie cant skip he did this to us

**eight nights at eddies added big dad ritch to the conversation**

big dad ritch- wow we havent done that in a while

eight nights at eddies- Fuck you

benjamin button- fuck you

there's a bEe?- fuck you

indiana mike- fuck you

big dad ritch- ok honestly??? Same

big dad ritch- thats the last time i try praying !!!!

beverly hills chihuahua- oh… my god

\--

10:08 am

indiana mike- bill: “derry is a small town”

indiana mike- whitehaven: has 4k kids

big billiam- im my defense it was small once

there's a bEe?- why did u say derry was a small town

big billiam- we’re not huge!

big dad ritch- we’re not small tho

big billiam- we’re medium

indiana mike- you specifically said small

eight nights at eddies- Bill wyd

big billiam- we’re rural!! Ish!!

flat stanley- ok lol

big billiam- i feel so attacked

there's a bEe?- he’s just calling u out for lying

indiana mike- friends don’t lie, bill

big billiam- I IDDNT LIE

indiana mike- :/

beverly hills chihuahua- we’re a medium city but everyone knows everyones business

beverly hills chihuahua- we have the feel of a small town without all the bad parts

big dad ritch- i hate derry im leaving the Second i graduate

there's a bEe?- idw leave my farm friends but also lol fuq this city skeet skeet bitch i wont miss u

flat stanley- and that’s the mood.

\--

4:31 pm

benjamin button- eggs scare me

flat stanley- explain

benjamin button- eggboy

flat stanley- that did not help

benjamin button- library basement no head

there's a bEe?- i think ben is dying

benjamin button- EGGBOY

beverly hills chihuahua- wait are u talking about the clown

benjamin button- YES

big dad ritch- pwise called u fucking egg boy im 

big dad ritch- incredible

eight nights at eddies- Richie whom the fuck is pwise

big dad ritch- pennywise

big billiam- what the fuck is that

there's a bEe?- the clown

benjamin button- called me egg boy

flat stanley- what

eight nights at eddies- What

big dad ritch- what

beverly hills chihuahua- what

indiana mike- thrift shop

big billiam- what

indiana mike- i tried

big dad ritch- idk what pennywise means

\--

_ the parti _

4:47 pm

indiana mike- ok guys i found the fishy

madmax- ???

indiana mike- i have more info on the weird thing about derry

will the wise- mike no

indiana mike- so they all keep mentioning a clown offhandedly and they’re all confused 

indiana mike- a few days ago i asked bill about some scars they all have on their hands and he said… smthn odd

indiana mike- lemme just send u a screnshot

indiana mike- (screenshot of what bill said- ““we all have them from a blood oath we made three ish years ago saying we’d all come back in 27 years to kill the clown if it turns out it really isnt dead”)

madmax- i dont understand

indiana mike- ME NEITHER

dust a nut- well that’s terrifying

will the wise- hhhhhhh

elven- do you know anything else

i am your father- yeah you said you know more

indiana mike- yes i just witnessed the most uncomfortable conversation

indiana mike- (screenshot of the conversation about eggboy)

i am your father- pennywise? did ben say that’s clown?

dust a nut- does this have to do with the shit bill told you not to bring up

indiana mike- i guess??

elven- wild

will the wise- wait a second guys

will the wise- shiiiittt

elven- what?

will the wise- ok back in 8th grade right

i am your father- uh oh

will the wise- bob told me that when he lived here as a kid he was scared half to death by a clown he called baldo

indiana mike- could baldo be pennywise?

dust a nut- will you should ask him

will the wise- i will bc im curious now too

dust a nut- what the fuck

i am your father- not a fan !!

madmax- do you know anything else????

indiana mike- NO im too chicken to ask bc he told me not to

elven- i could look

madmax- at the clown? or the town?

indiana mike- how?

elven- if i had a picture or something

will the wise- that’s probably not a good idea…

madmax- whatd bob say

will the wise- that baldo was 8 feet tall and his eyes glowed and he felt inherently evil

will the wise- and that it was about 30 years ago

dust a nut- 27 years…

dust a nut- FUCK

i am your father- ok so a clown comes every 27 years? That makes no sense

madmax- how come bob can remember it if the others cant

will the wise- he doesnt remember the clowns real name and always looks really confused after tallking about him

indiana mike- i’ll keep an eye out for any more odd conversations bc im #curious

elven- you just want a mystery

i am your father- savage

indiana mike- ok but… true

\-- 

_ richie does not eat dog poop _

4:54 pm

flat stanley- pennywise.. The dancing clown

big billiam- georgie?

there's a bEe?- he was just missing

benjamin button- just barely though

big billiam- didnt i shoot him

flat stanley- no you shot a clown

eight nights at eddies- no i distictly remember bill shooting georgie

big dad ritch- he wouldnt shoot georgie tho bc georgie is the sun

eight nights at eddies- ?????

big dad ritch- and youre the moon and all the stars

eight nights at eddies- tytyty

beverly hills chihuahua- yellow raincoat

big billiam- something about sewers

there's a bEe?- and a boat

flat stanley- storm

eight nights at eddies- leper???

beverly hills chihuahua- ok lets move on i don like this

benjamin button- ^^^

\--

_ //huggles// _

8:32 pm

big billiam- l*zards? not a fan

indiana mike- me neither

big billiam- i was in my living room home alone and i noticed a fucking lizard on the mat and it was small but i was Freakinh Out and afraid so i stared it down for like 10 minutes and was on a chair just. watching. 

big billiam- and then i decided to fold the map and i got a flip flop and started BEATING it and i was terrified and then after hitting it a lot i like sealed it off with a vase and surrounded it by chairs and ran upstairs 

big billiam- my mom just got home and is mad at me now she said “bill why is there a dead baby lizard in this mat” and i had to say that i was scared of it

flat stanley- im LAUGHING SO HARD

there's a bEe?- YOU WERE SCARED OF A BABY LIZARD

big billiam- back off guys im a cold blooded killer now

\--

8:48 pm

big billiam- i feel so awful now

big billiam- like in the moment I was like FUCK YOUU

big billiam- but now i just feel bad

big dad ritch- it was invading your home

big dad ritch- infiltration by the lizard government FAILED

indiana mike- bye bye trump!!

flat stanley- illuminati

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, news... i am thinking of ending this gc fic soon... either that or very infrequent updates.. idk. im considering it bc this bitch is 25k and thats a bit ridiculous but i like having a companion gc fic for the wheelbrough fic so idk man. also i fear i am becoming unfunny bc u know u either die a hero (funny) or live long enough to see urself become a villain (not funny) so id rather go out strong than look back at later chapter like wtf is that its not even a little funny. we'll see. depends if pl want me 2 keep going w this or nah
> 
> comment + kudos !!!!!


	14. my longest yeah boy ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eight nights at eddies- The first time we did any sex stuff he told me all the causes of the Revolutionary War
> 
> big billiam- that’s odd
> 
> big dad ritch- i was nervous it was a 1 time thing
> 
> eight nights at eddies- Then explain why you taught me about derivatives just 2 weeks ago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not gonna go into detail w/ nsfw stuff but im bein realistic yall theyve dated for 3 years and have done stuff so mild sex talk happens
> 
> yes, the airport story is real and i did panic in the cellphone parking lot of the airport for a hot minute last friday. 
> 
> also, remember a few chapters ago when i said i wouldnt include all the stranger things kids a lot? i lied. they're like half this chapter.

_ //huggles// _

3:32 pm

there's a bEe?- im bored

benjamin button- me 2

there's a bEe?- what are everyone’s kinks

flat stanley- mike....

beverly hills chihuahua- i like holding hands

eight nights at eddies- I like love and appreciation 

big billiam- i for one am a fan of cuddling

indiana mike- that’s funny because im a fan of that too

there's a bEe?- i like when stan talks about birds

flat stanley- i like when mike does anything 

benjamin button- i like long hugs

big dad ritch- yall are weird

big dad ritch- i like bein choked

big billiam- thanks richie

there's a bEe?- cool now we’re really into it

flat stanley- eddie does he really

eight nights at eddies- What’s it to you

beverly hills chihuahua- that means yes

indiana mike- this is fun

there's a bEe?- anyone else wanna share

eight nights at eddies- Eh since Richie has no qualms about sharing I guess I will

eight nights at eddies- I like gagging him

there's a bEe?- :)

big dad ritch- he says it’s the only time i shut up

eight nights at eddies- The first time we did any sex stuff he told me all the causes of the Revolutionary War

big billiam- that’s odd

big dad ritch- i was nervous it was a 1 time thing

eight nights at eddies- Then explain why you taught me about derivatives just 2 weeks ago

beverly hills chihuahua- this is incredible 

benjamin button- this is too much information 

flat stanley- richie why

big dad ritch- knowledge is sexy

there's a bEe?- tru tho

flat stanley- interesting

\--

_ richie does not eat dog poop _

3:54 pm

big billiam- the 1 time we discuss richie and eddies sex life like this

big billiam- you do it in the gc with Indiana Mike

there's a bEe?- haha oops :)

beverly hills chihuahua- it was good bonding tho 

benjamin button- i know too much 

eight nights at eddies- Sorry if we made Indiana Mike uncomfortable 

big dad ritch- now he knows not to choke me

big billiam- why would he choke you

flat stanley- why wouldn’t he

flat stanley- im surprised i haven’t choked him yet

big dad ritch- you can if you wanna ;)

flat stanley- gross

eight nights at eddies- Stop flirting with Stan

\--

_ //huggles// _

6:25 pm

big billiam- FUCK I FUCKED UP I WANT to die

beverly hills chihuahua- are you ok?

big billiam- hhhhh im ok im just. how in the shit.

benjamin button- what happen

flat stanley- ^^

big billiam- so i like drives. that is fact.

there's a bEe?- you like wasting gas, correct

big billiam- shut 

big billiam- so i was bored and i figured id go the long way to get to the library

big billiam- not an official drive, just me goin all twisty turvy then study time

flat stanley- uh oh i know where this is going

big dad ritch- me too

indiana mike- what

eight nights at eddies- Bill gets lost no matter where he goes he needs GPS to get anywhere

indiana mike- uh oh

big billiam- so im goin and i end up on the highway and i was like ok this is fine, i will live

big dad ritch- oh nooo

ben - hahaha

big billiam- im chillin and i figure well ive been driving long enough that its too late to library it up so this will just be a drive but urban !

indiana mike- library it up

big billiam- im goin and it doesnt feel that long and then i see it

beverly hills chihuahua- see what!

big billiam- The Air Port

there's a bEe?- BILL

big dad ritch- THE AIRPORT ISNT EVEN IN DERRY

big billiam- I KNOW

big billiam- IM IN THE AIRPORT PARKING LOT RN

indiana mike- BILL

indiana mike- youre not allowed to go on drives alone anymore

eight nights at eddies- We’ve tried to enforce that rule but it never works

beverly hills chihuahua- one time he got so lost he didnt have service and was gone all day and his mom almost contacted the police

big billiam- ok. that was. a mistake. 

indiana mike- BILL

big billiam- I EVENTALLY FOUND SERVICE AND GOT HOME !!

indiana mike- OBVIOUSLY

benjamin button- honestly bill you gotta take indiana with you all the time now

indiana mike- not opposed!

there's a bEe?- are u actually at the airport or just by it

big billiam- there are planes above me

flat stanley- awesome

big billiam- im gpsing home smh

big billiam- im chillin in the cell phone parking lot while it loads but uh what if there’s no ExiT

there's a bEe?- there’s an exit

benjamin button- your dumb ass will be fine

big billiam- ok the directions have loaded im abt 2 leave

big dad ritch- ill be waiting ;)

eight nights at eddies- He’s in your bed right now I see him

big billiam- ew u better not be dirty

big dad ritch- i’ll be a good boy 4 u

big billiam- get out

big dad ritch- no im napping

ed - He is.

flat stanley- smh be safe on ur drive home bill

there's a bEe?- yes DRIVE SAFELY i know u suck at it sometimes

big billiam- firstable bithch

big billiam- >:(

indiana mike- hes not that bad!

indiana mike- my friend max speeds 24/7 its always terrifying to be in the car with her driving

indiana mike- especially since she doesnt have a permit or license but still goes out bc shes wild

big dad ritch- i like max

benjamin button- i thought you were asleep

eight nights at eddies- Be gone, THOT!

big dad ritch- ok

flat stanley- im too big a chicken to drive but i have mike to chauffer me everywhere

there's a bEe?- ily

indiana mike- cute

\--

8:18 pm

eight nights at eddies- I just walked into Richie’s room to see him making out with a tub of Vaseline

flat stanley- is this surprising?

big dad ritch- ok my lips were chapped

big billiam- that explains the vaseline but not the making out with it

big dad ritch- i couldnt find my chapstick!!

there's a bEe?- im still lost

big dad ritch- and i didn’t wanna get my fingers all vaseliney

beverly hills chihuahua- so you made out with it

big dad ritch- no

eight nights at eddies- Then explain what you were doing!

big dad ritch- i was putting it on!

benjamin button- by shoving your face into the tub?

big dad ritch- yes!

eight nights at eddies- What the fuck!

\--

9:12 am

beverly hills chihuahua- alien club is havin a party on saturday bring your clout goggles and tinfoil hat 

indiana mike- … alien club?

benjamin button- alien club is bev and some lesbians 

indiana mike- how many people?

there's a bEe?- 4 total

indiana mike- incredible

beverly hills chihuahua- our parties are lit tho we hit up every other club and we all bop but finally we have an alien theme

benjamin button- thats code for someone has some sort of smoking apparatus that is in the shape of an alien

big dad ritch- ooh who

beverly hills chihuahua- idk someone knows someone who knows someone who kno

beverly hills chihuahua- you get the point

big dad ritch- im there

eight nights at eddies- I’m there too then because Some One doesnt know how to control himself at parties

big dad ritch- jfc you strip One time

big billiam- nine times

big billiam- youve gotten naked at 9 parties

flat stanley- i guess i could go

flat stanley- only if you have the x files on

there's a bEe?- same i love mulder

flat stanley- its a C H E E S E  O R B

eight nights at eddies- That’s a very niche meme

benjamin button- i suppose i will be in attendance as well

\--

_ private message- indiana mike and big billiam _

9:19 am

big billiam- you don’t have to go if you dont wanna

big billiam- idk what your ~scene is but if parties and illegal things aren’t it we can skip out

indiana mike- i dont mind it

indiana mike- ive only done it 2 times bc nancy makes fun of me for being a total lightweight

big billiam- not to sound That Way but im a pro you have a good teacher :)

indiana mike- speaking of having you

big billiam- oh?

indiana mike- that sounded wrong

indiana mike- but do you wanna go somewhere after school? idk where, you can decide

big billiam- do you like cheese fries

indiana mike- yes

big billiam- we’re getting cheese fries

indiana mike- cool :)

big billiam- foq i have to go to ACT prep club until like 3:30 my mom makes me go

indiana mike- you can pick me up from my home once you’re done ::))

big billiam- okay :::))))

indiana mike- ::::::::)))))))))

big billiam- :::::::::::)))))))))

indiana mike- :::::::::::::::::::::::)))))))))))))))))))))))))

big billiam- ok im ending this

indiana mike- good decision

\--

_ //huggles// _

9:23 am

indiana mike- if i mayst attend i will

big billiam- we’re goin g together

beverly hills chihuahua- nice !! party!!!!!!!!!!!!! silver glitter is needed for admittance. 

\--

_ bill is #1 _

9:43 am

indiana mike- we’re getting cheese fries together after school is it romantic to ask him out right after eating cheese fries

big dad ritch- you’re hopeless

indiana mike- ive never been very suave

indiana mike- i told the first girl i rly liked that she would basically be my sister and then kissed her and that was uncomfortable

eight nights at eddies- Omg

eight nights at eddies- But knowing Bill, and knowing the cheese fries you are going to eat, not very romantic

indiana mike- but i wanna ask him todayyyy :(

big dad ritch- go on a walk afterwards

eight nights at eddies- There’s a sick path that goes around a lake and has a cool gazebo that’d be nice

indiana mike- there are good parks here

big dad ritch- eh the whole town is basically one big park

indiana mike- tru

indiana mike- what do i do tho

eight nights at eddies- You walk

eight nights at eddies- You digest

eight nights at eddies- Chill

big dad ritch- then you ask him to be your boyfriend

eight nights at eddies- Speak from the heart

indiana mike- how did you two start

eight nights at eddies- “hey eds how funny would if be if you and me pretended to date bc everyone already thinks we’re together” “not very funny, Rich, but ok!”

big dad ritch- *spongebob man voice* 1 month later

big dad ritch- “Richie cut the bullshit I like you and I know you like me we have to talk about this” 

eight nights at eddies- Don’t take inspiration from us

indiana mike- um icons

indiana mike- but bill and i wont be the same we’re gonna be so good..

eight nights at eddies- I don’t doubt it

big dad ritch- <3

\--

_ //huggles// _

2:56 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- yo rossi you dumb ass bitch shut the. fuck up you ruined every. thing uou fool.

big dad ritch- oh criminal minds

big dad ritch- you in season 3?

beverly hills chihuahua- Yes

beverly hills chihuahua- early seasons rossi is so annoying

indiana mike- later seasons rossi is a god

benjamin button- you know who i love?

there's a bEe?- ben no

indiana mike- who

benjamin button- JENNIFER JAREAU 

beverly hills chihuahua- he’d leave me for JJ

benjamin button- iw ould

benjamin button- i love her so much

beverly hills chihuahua- i’d leave ben for emily prentiss

beverly hills chihuahua- i love that little bird nosed baby

flat stanley- personally i am a huge fan of a mr. luke alvez in season 12 and 13

there's a bEe?- me too we Nut over him together

there's a bEe?- i suddenly regret everything

big billiam- disgusting

\--

3:11 pm

big dad ritch- I will give someone $4 to bring me a big bag of doritos or cheetos

eight nights at eddies- I can’t drive

flat stanley- ^

indiana mike- ^^

beverly hills chihuahua- my aunt has the car

benjamin button- im at work

there's a bEe?- im farming

big billiam- im at ACT prep club

big dad ritch- u guys? fake friends. 

eight nights at eddies- Rich you have a car

big dad ritch- doesnt matter i dont want to drive

eight nights at eddies- If you come pick me up I’ll go into the store for you

big dad ritch- thank you babby boy i love u

eight nights at eddies- You still have to give me the $4

\--

_ private message - big billiam and indiana mike _

3:30 pm

big billiam- ok so im done w/ ACT prepppp im leaving now

indiana mike- im ready !!!

indiana mike- ready to vore me some cheese fries

\--

_ the parti _

3:32 pm

indiana mike- i just told bill that im ready to vore some cheese fries im gonna combust

madmax- mike you absolute dumbass

dust a nut- you can’t bring up voring until After you start dating

indiana mike- i’m a mistake

elven- you should know better

elven- remember when you had to tell me what vore is

indiana mike- i… will never forget

i am your father- you should know better she’s right !

i am your father- also remember the time i broke out 130 day streak because you wouldnt stop saying vore instead of eat

indiana mike- yes :(

will the wise- remember the time i wanted you to die 

indiana mike- no

indiana mike- is it right now

will the wise- yes.

indiana mike- understandable 

\--

_ private message- big billiam and indiana mike _

3:35

big billiam- :PPPPP

big billiam- i hve a group of friends i know from a camp and whenever i eat something i send them a picture of me eating it with the caption “me voring this _____” and they hate me

\--

_ the parti _

3:36 pm

indiana mike- (screenshot)

indiana mike- soul mate

madmax- you propose right now

will the wise- now his voring is going to get WORSE

elven- disgusting

\--

_ private message - big billiam and indiana mike _

3:38 pm

indiana mike- lmaooo

indiana mike- i once had to teach my friend what vore means

big billiam- oh no

big billiam- if your vore explanation was anything like your furry explanation to your mom…

big billiam- yikes

indiana mike- YOU SAID I DID A GOOD JOB

indiana mike- just come get me

big billiam- okok im driving now peace

\--

_ bill is #1 _

4:57 pm

indiana mike- hhh ok we’re walking he’s taking a pic and i see the gazebo its a happeninfg 

eight nights at eddies- GOOD LUCK

big dad ritch- im so proud

indiana mike- HHHHH

\--

_ richie does not eat dog poop _

7:39 pm

big billiam- GUES SHIEUJBIWHVWDKN;JSbnl

eight nights at eddies- YES

big dad ritch- GOOD

flat stanley- what

there's a bEe?- ???????///

big billiam- I MSN SO HAOURPY I HAVEB AN MAN

beverly hills chihuahua- did i just possibly make out that you have a MAN

benjamin button- BILL

big billiam- YES

eight nights at eddies- How’d he ask!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

big billiam- i  cnns riuuuckjsAD:CS

big dad ritch- IM CRYING

big billiam- i cna nt text rn im AHHHHH hmu l8r

eight nights at eddies- He did it at the gazebo :’)

benjamin button- awwww

big dad ritch- they got cheese fries and went on a walk and then gazebo and ASK

benjamin button- AWWW

\--

_ bill is #1 _

7:51 pm

indiana mike- i assume u both know he said yes

big dad ritch- yess

eight nights at eddies- YES

big dad ritch- dont tell him but uh

big dad ritch- (screenshot of bill losing his shit)

indiana mike- THATS SO CUTE

indiana mike- my man <3

\--

_ the parti _

7:55 pm

indiana mike- (screenshot richie just sent)

indiana mike- ahubbbewjfrhgbkjehadfns

i am your father- richie does not eat dog poop

dust a nut- oh richie

indiana mike- GUYS

i am your father- IM KIDDING

madmax- gross but im happy for you

elven- he likes you!!

indiana mike- you sound shocked

elven- i’m texting

indiana mike- you look shocked

will the wise- she is

will the wise- that’s cute af tho im such a good matchmaker

dust a nut- will really IS wise

indiana mike- ok you sound exactly like richie

elven- text

indiana mike- you LOOK exactly like richie

will the wise- no, YOU look exactly like richie

indiana mike- oh my go d shut up

madmax- props to bill for being down to date his bffs twin 

madmax- if i found someone who looked just like you guys…. nah

will the wise- rude

i am your father- yeah, rude

madmax- idc

elven- savage

indiana mike- bully

madmax- i am an angel

indiana mike- ok stan

i am your father- i cant believe you love the maine people more than us already

indiana mike- NO i love and miss you guys sm you have to all come visit :((((

indiana mike- it’’s not the same and im emo but bill and the others are so nice you’d be frinds

dust a nut- my mom said she’d let me go up there for a visit if i wanna

indiana mike- my longest yeah boy ever

madmax- if el goes i could

indiana mike- yeeeeeeeeeeeee

i am your father- my mom would be chill w/ it

indiana mike- eeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaa

elven- hopper would let me if i get bratty enough

indiana mike- (that wont be hard HOW YA FEEL) aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

will the wise- i live here

indiana mike- aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

madmax- that’s everyone then !!!!!

indiana mike- hhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i am your father- when should we come down

indiana mike- BBBBBBBBBB

dust a nut- after christmas?

indiana mike- BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOO

madmax- over new years!

indiana mike- OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

elven- i like that

indiana mike- OOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYY

will the wise- mike and i can host some people + maybe a parent or 2

indiana mike- YYYYYYYYYYYY

elven- that was a very long yeah boy

indiana mike- thanks

indiana mike- but yeah i can host people and hotels here are cheap af and you can meet the losers and i can show you the park and the coffeeshop and whitehaven and maybe you’ll see a rat and we can do new years as a big group

i am your father- we’ve been to derry before, mike

dust a nut- we won’t need some grand tour from a guy who’s been there for a month

indiana mike- but the guys + gal can show us the good bits

madmax- i gotta meet bill too. see if he’s good enough

indiana mike- alsooo

elven- the mystery

indiana mike- >:)

i am your father- you want us to do some scooby doo investigating

indiana mike- idk new years,.,..., champage,,.,.., maybe a few little secrets come out from them.,,

dust a nut- good point

will the wise- so i live here for 2 years and get visited just a few times and now that mike’s here you’re desperate,,,

elven- i remember mike being ready to walk to derry 

indiana mike- i was

i am your father- we all were

will the wise- aw

will the wise- count me out of investigating tho im not about that life

will the wise- after you get literally possessed you lose the urge to poke around in fishy stuff

indiana mike- that’s fair

will the wise- i dont like clowns

dust a nut- i, personally, am interested in whatever the fuck is up

indiana mike- new years party slash investigation is a GO

\--

_ //huggles// _

4:01 am

benjamin button- i love lava lamps

\--

6:35 am

benjamin button- idk what that was bc i remember dreaming about winona ryder and loving her

benjamin button- but i dont remember anything about lava lamps

beverly hills chihuahua- do you want me to buy you a lava lamp

benjamin button- apparently !!

\--

_ richie does not eat dog poop _

8:23 am

flat stanley- here comes hanukkah here comes hanukkah right down hanukkah lane

big billiam- why

flat stanley- if i have to listen to christmas music for 2 months i have to make it hanukkah 

there's a bEe?- just a few weeks away !!

flat stanley- i can smell the latkes already

big dad ritch- will u ask ur dad to make me 1 million

flat stanley- he knows

big dad ritch- nice

flat stanley- dreidel dreidel dreidel i made u out of clay

flat stanley- and when ur dry and ready

flat stanley- oh dreidel i shall play

benjamin button- im almost done w the sweater im knitting for u

benjamin button- it was gonna be a surprise but i cant help it i gotta tell u

beverly hills chihuahua- ben you were so excited to surprise himmm

flat stanley- YOU KNIT ME A SWEATER

benjamin button- yeah it’s all big and blue and let me tell u

benjamin button- menorahs are NOT EASY to knit

flat stanley- have i told u love u

there's a bEe?- ben that is so pure

there's a bEe?- i wish i could knit

benjamin button- i can teach u

there's a bEe?- i could make stan the jankiest sweater ever

flat stanley- i would wear it every day

eight nights at eddies- So cute omg

eight nights at eddies- Are we having our Holiday Party(tm)

big billiam- duh

eight nights at eddies- When

big billiam- I’ll ask my mother when the house is free

big billiam- can my bf come

flat stanley- yes bill smh

flat stanley- we gotta have it after ben is done w my sweater

benjamin button- :D

flat stanley- so i can wear it

eight nights at eddies- I love the holidays

big dad ritch- only a few more weeks until winter break !!

beverly hills chihuahua- i just gagged

there’s a bEe?- why

beverly hills chihuahua- im so not ready for exams

beverly hills chihuahua- i dont want to take any of them i dont know anything

beverly hills chihuahua- precal is gonna kick my ASS im actually gonna fail i dont know how to do Shit 

beverly hills chihuahua- and i dont think i’ll be able to ch*at on it

big dad ritch- why did u censor cheat

beverly hills chihuahua- the government is watching us they’re gonna tell my teachers i ch*at

there’s a bEe?- tinfoil hat much????

beverly hills chihuahua- shhhhhhhh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: starts adding in plotty stuff  
> also me: hmm maybe i should end this fic :/  
> also also me: doesn't want to end it
> 
> she's staying u guys deadass every single comment was asking me 2 stay so thank you all SO SO MUCH your kind words mean a whole lot and make me write 4k chapters


	15. **** ****?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a bEe?- i actually pay attention in that class
> 
> flat stanley- thats a mcfucking lie i see u playing the scribble game by yourself every day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im southern and let me tell u. it is so hard to not have them say y'all bc they r NORTHERN and you guys just feels wrong
> 
> important stuff in the bottom notes!!!!!!!
> 
> (also tbh this chap's a tad bland bc i just wanted 2 get something out 2day)

_richie does not eat dog poop_

11:21 am

flat stanley- sooo?

beverly hills chihuahua- ;))

there's a bEe?- billlll

big billiam- hjfevbajdsnc

eight nights at eddies- Are we gonna get the good details?

benjamin button- im thirsty

big dad ritch- blss

big billiam- fine jfdnc

big billiam- richie and eddie already knew a lot how tf

eight nights at eddies- We’re in a groupchat just us 3

big dad ritch- it’s called bill is#1

beverly hills chihuahua- that’s so cute

big billiam- ook well yeah we went to get cheese fries after shcool they were so good mike loved them too holla

beverly hills chihuahua- of course he did he has a tongue and tastebuds smh

big billiam- then i was ready to take him home but he said we should go on a walk and guysdfubhadc we HELD HANDS and walked around the lake and he tripped like 7 times

there's a bEe?- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

big billiam- then we get to the placebo i mean gazebo aha xx and we sit and the sun is setting a bit and its romantic as shit and he goes

beverly hills chihuahua- !!

big billiam- ‘bill i like u a lot and it’s only been 2 weeks but i dont wanna wait any longer… will you be my boyfriend?’

flat stanley- HBRD

beverly hills chihuahua- im meltingggg

benjamin button- oh my godfjaknc

big billiam- and i obvoisly said YES and he jkissed my CHEEK aand held my hand as we drove to his home anf was all blushy and me too an you guys :( im so happy

big dad ritch- bill this is the cutest thing ive ever seen

eight nights at eddies- I’m SO SO happy for you

\--

5:12 pm

eight nights at eddies- My mom got a cat a few days ago and he’s so cute but fuckkjhadvS

eight nights at eddies- He’s SO obsessed with me like ok I love you, you’re cute, angel baby boy, whatever, but he never leaves me tf ALONE and never shuts up it’s like okay!! I see you!! I love you!! Please go away!! Go bother someone else for a change!!

big dad ritch- i… ok?

big billiam- eddie wtf

beverly hills chihuahua- EDDIE

eight nights at eddies- What

flat stanley- eddie stfu wtf

there's a bEe?- that’s a bit uncalled for

benjamin button- honestly eddie >:/

eight nights at eddies- Wait what

big billiam- rich are u ok

flat stanley- ^^^

eight nights at eddies- Is Richie not okay? What happened???

beverly hills chihuahua- tbh shut the fuck up rn wtf

eight nights at eddies- Idk what me being annoyed by my mom’s cat has to do with Richie but ok you guys I didn’t know we loved cats so much sorry @ Butter you’re not that annoying

benjamin button- wait what

there's a bEe?- wait what x2

(eight nights at eddies- _My mom got a cat a few days ago and he’s so cute but fuckkjhadvS_ ERROR MESSAGE NOT SENT)

eight nights at eddies- Oh lovely

flat stanley- what

big dad ritch- ????

eight nights at eddies- I love my shitty wifi ((((((:

eight nights at eddies- I said “My mom got a cat a few days ago and he’s so cute but fuckkjhadvS” but it didnt send

big billiam- oh my god

eight nights at eddies- Why were you guys so pissed though

flat stanley- read ur mf text

beverly hills chihuahua- it looked bad sorry i told u to shut the fuck up

eight nights at eddies- Oh my god Rich I didn’t mean you I love you and you’re not annoying

big dad ritch- i love you too

eight nights at eddies- I’m coming tf over it’ll get me to my real angel baby boy and away from Butter the cat who just threw up on my floor as I'm typing this. I’m going to pretend like I don’t see it.

there's a bEe?- well that was scary

big billiam- my heart is still beating so fast i was gonna have to hit eddie

eight nights at eddies- why would i send that to you guys though?

beverly hills chihuahua- idk coulda been some other friend of yours you bully richie to

benjamin button- exactly

eight nights at eddies- who would would that even be

benjamin button- idk!! some rando!

eight nights at eddies- No I don’t bully Richie to some random person

eight nights at eddies- I feel bad nowww

flat stanley- … it’s fine

eight nights at eddies- The ellipses beg to differ

flat stanley- i was deadass ready to start swinging

eight nights at eddies- If I heard shit about Richie I would start swingint too!

eight nights at eddies- Can this bus PLEASE move faster!!!!!!!

\--

_//huggles//_

7:34 pm

big billiam- i am… the greatest student

big billiam- here r my notes from apush today about south carolina and secession and bias

big billiam- “yes bias why u gotta slam DUNK the president like that”

big billiam- then for uncle tom’s cabin

big billiam- “bias bc HBC is a whitey & didn’t experience slavery so ppl hated her”

big dad ritch- im….

indiana mike- what a diligent student

indiana mike- ill send u my notes

big billiam- only here for 2 weeks, already a better student

big billiam- thank you bf :)))))

big billiam- omg my SOAPSTONE for the anti-slavery convention one…

eight nights at eddies- Omg

big billiam- speaker: anti-slavery

big billiam- occasion: anti-slavery con, 1834

big billiam- audience: anti-slavery

big billiam- purpose: anti-slavery

big billiam- subject: FUCK slavery it aint SHIT

big billiam- tone: angery

beverly hills chihuahua- honestly how are you not failing

benjamin button- i aspire to care that little

big dad ritch- Eddie takes notes for me sometimes

big dad ritch- he knows how i learn best so he angelically writes them so i’ll understand good :)

eight nights at eddies- Because I love you

indiana mike- icons

there's a bEe?- i actually pay attention in that class

flat stanley- thats a mcfucking lie i see u playing the scribble game by yourself every day

benjamin button- hsbfj thats so tragic

indiana mike- scribble game?

there's a bEe?- omg it’s when you make a scribbly line like some loops

there's a bEe?- and then the other person has to make it into a picture without erasing any lines

there's a bEe?- it sounds bland but i promise its not

flat stanley- king of shitty explanations

flat stanley- we can play it tomorrow

\--

8:58 pm

big billiam- i went to play my christmas playlist from last year and it’s literally just santa tell me by ariana grande 20 times

indiana mike- mood

indiana mike- ill link u to my playlist it has michael buble and aly & aj :)

big dad ritch- im so glad we’re not getting emo christmas bill this year

beverly hills chihuahua- omg ur right… god bless

big billiam- shut up you guys are bullies

\--

9:26 am

indiana mike- ben richie mike can u please recreate the skit you did in french today

eight nights at eddies- In english so the others understand

there's a bEe?- sure

big dad ritch- Karen: carol your casserole was delicious!

benjamin button- Carol: thank you, karen!

big dad ritch- Karen: did you have susan’s tho…

benjamin button- Carol: I know, it was so dry!

there's a bEe?- Susan: MY CASSEROLE? DRY? I THINK THE FUCK NOT YOU TRICK ASS BITCH

big dad ritch- Karen: susan! Did we say your casserole?

benjamin button- Carol: we meant… emily’s!

there's a bEe?- Susan: sure! For the record, KAREN, you son isnt that good at soccer!

big dad ritch- Karen: HE GOT A TROPHY

there's a bEe?- Susan: IT WAS A PARTICIPATION TROPY, KAREN! EVERYONE GOT ONE!

benjamin button- Carol: susan #chillax dude

there's a bEe?- Susan: you daughter’s a WHORE she’s preganant agiain! Dont think i didn’t notice her avioding wine, when she usualy loves it!

benjamin button- Carol: susan you bitch

big dad ritch- that’s the gist

indiana mike- i cried

big billiam- OH MY GOD

beverly hills chihuahua- BN JHFZHBDF

flat stanley- I HATE THIS

eight nights at eddies- It was so iconic Mme Bernard was shitting herself

indiana mike- mine and eddies and pete’s was much more generic

eight nights at eddies- I heard skit and knew not to get in a group with Richie or I’d be screaming in bad french in front of the class and lookie there, I was right!!

indiana mike- now i know to stay away from richie and skits

there's a bEe?- it was fun tho

beverly hills chihuahua- i cant imagine mike or ben yelling like that

flat stanley- why were you women

benjamin button- why not

benjamin button- makes it more realistic

flat stanley- that’s fair i cant imagine a suburban dad yelling about his dry casserole like i can a suburban mom

benjamin button- i hope i dont fail bc richie was in my group and she hates him :/

there's a bEe?- fhb i didn't even think about that oh no

big dad ritch- :(

\--

12:55 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- to the windoooowww to the walnutttt til the sweat drips off my ballnut

benjamin button- you dont have ballnuts

\--

2:11 pm

big dad ritch- do any of u have any headcanons just about anyone I don't care who or if it's romantic platonic just one person or 50 i want a nice headcanon. it can be two words. Im thirsty.

flat stanley- okay well u die and i read ur eulogy and people cry and we all watch porn in you r hpnor

big dad ritch- D’;

big billiam- what did i fucking say about that face

big dad ritch- D;

big dad ritch- :)

**big billiam removed big dad ritch from the conversation**

big billiam- just for a minute so he rly gets the memo

**eight nights at eddies added big dad ritch to the conversation**

eight nights at eddies- Bill pick your battles

big dad ritch- :/

eight nights at eddies- Here I have a headcanon for you Rich! You drive to my house and you take me to get ice cream

big dad ritch- :D

there's a bEe?- that’s not a headcanon

benjamin button- that’s canon

big dad ritch- ;)

eight nights at eddies- Are you coming

big dad ritch- :P

eight nights at eddies- Not like that you fiend

big dad ritch- :*

big dad ritch- :-)

eight nights at eddies- Cool hurry over I want ice cream so bad

big billiam- was he conversing with you

eight nights at eddies- Yeah

there's a bEe?- you know them, bill, they could probably have a conversation exclusively with emojis

indiana mike- icons

\---

 

_private message - benjamin button and beverly hills chihuahua_

2:27 pm

benjamin button- dyw play 8ball

beverly hills chihuahua- ben… u suck at it…

benjamin button- (8ball)

beverly hills chihuahua- (8ball) i love breaking the balls its so satisfying

benjamin button- (8ball) mm i love getting balls in

beverly hills chihuahua- (8ball) BAM take that bithv

benjamin button- (8ball) HOW IN THE HOMY FHD SHIT IHVLKJZSDN

beverly hills chihuahua- (8ball) god??? Real.

benjamin button- (8ball) HEEL UFKCING YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

beverly hills chihuahua- (8ball) the 8 ball almos went in i nearly had a goddman heart attakc fuck

benjamin button- (8ball) how in fuck do you have only 2 left ive gotten THREE in

beverly hills chihuahua- (8ball) how ya feel

benjamin button- (8ball) NOT GOOD!!!

beverly hills chihuahua- (8ball) can the mf 8 go IN blease

benjamin button- (8ball) 8 PLEASE STAY OUT

beverly hills chihuahua- (8ball) i mean. Ok.

benjamin button- (8ball) HHHH HOLY SHIT FUCK DAMN Iwdefidshfnb

beverly hills chihuahua- jeez watch your langue

benjamin button- shut

beverly hills chihuahua- (8ball) WINNER WINNER CHICKEN BEVERLY

benjamin button- once again… betrayed by my own gf

beverly hills chihuahua- when have i betrayed you before

benjamin button- every time you beat me at 8ball you betray me

beverly hills chihuahua- i love u bennyjamin

benjamin button- i guess i love you too :/

\--

_richie does not eat dog poop_

5:41 pm

there's a bEe?- bill have u asked indiana… the question

big billiam- no :/

flat stanley- and you still said yes???!?!?

big billiam- i was too afraid of his answer

big dad ritch- wait a second… you NEVER asked him??

eight nights at eddies- BILL how could you

beverly hills chihuahua- what if he’s **** ****

benjamin button- fuck i like indiana if it turns out he is… that… ill be so depressed

big billiam- do u want me to ask now

there's a bEe?- yeah but not in the gc bc he could be influenced

big billiam- okok ill ask

\--

_private message - big billiam and indiana mike_

5:50 pm

big billiam- mike i have a very important question

indiana mike- oh?

big billiam- please answer honestly

indiana mike- ok?? are u ok?

big billiam- yeah this is just a big deal

indiana mike- im all ears

big billiam- ok. Hhave you seen captain america civil war?

indiana mike- yeah? Is that the question

big billiam- no, this is

big billiam- are you team cap or team iron

indiana mike- team cap babie

indiana mike- oh shit i hope you are too

indiana mike- bill?

indiana mike- bill did i answer wrong

\--

_richie does not eat dog poop_

5:57 pm

big billiam- (screenshot)

big billiam- YES

there's a bEe?- THANK GOD

benjamin button- WE CAN KEEP HIM

beverly hills chihuahua- god blesssss

big dad ritch- oh my god yes

eight nights at eddies- Thank fuck I was so nervous

big billiam- ok im going to the gc now

\--

_//huggles//_

6:04 pm

big billiam- mike you are safe

indiana mike- oh thank god

big dad ritch- we were so worried

eight nights at eddies- I can’t believe he didn’t ask you first thing tbh

benjamin button- if u had said iron we’d be like

benjamin button- after 2 incredible weeks…

indiana mike- jhdflkjadn

flat stanley- im so pleased

indiana mike- if i had been iron i’d be like

indiana mike- after 17 incredible years...

big dad ritch- lmaooo

big billiam- i can keep you

beverly hills chihuahua- im so relieved

indiana mike- dustin is team iron but that’s bc he nuts over tony stark and i can kind of excuse it but i lowkey hate him

big dad ritch- mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey idk if I’m being presumptuous but! would anyone be down for a discord about wheelbrough and my fics and IT in general?? I dont have many friends in the IT fandom and idk i could give u all previews of what im up to and u could motivate me n give me ideas (so it’s not monday and my only progress on a chapter is a doc saying ‘i dont want to write this right now’) and we could do headcanons… it could be fun… hmu if you’re interested and i’ll get a link for one… maybe post it on 2morrows wheelbrough update…
> 
> Ok i had an idea yesterday what if i did some flashbacks to everyone getting together bc this fic is basically 1 big spoiler for wheelbrough like the’yre companion pieces and should be in synch but they are not so if i have some fillery type stuff about richie and eddie fake dating or mike and stan secret dating or whatever fun beginning ben and bev have… i think it could be fun, is that smthn y’all’d want or r y’all good w/ the advanced timeline (also uh could get angsty i could do texts from throughout the pennywise events, maybe explain some of the changes i made...)


	16. lil dickie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big dad ritch- eat ass suck a dick sell drugs
> 
> flat stanley- sat drugs suck ass sell dick
> 
> there's a bEe?- sell ass suck drugs sell dick
> 
> eight nights at eddies- Eat grass sell ducks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a lot of 1d in here but i dont care. once in a lifetime is the worst song in existence. 
> 
> this is kind of short rip i dont care. wheelbrough 3 on the way kind of. i hve to wrie character development but the thing is,,, i dont want to. its fine.

_ //huggles// _

2:11 pm

benjamin button- happy thanksgiving i am thankful for u all

big billiam- pure im thankful for u too

big dad ritch- i would die w/o yall

eight nights at eddies- You guys are my faves

beverly hills chihuahua- I LOVE

there's a bEe?- this is so cute i love all u guys sm

flat stanley- my faves. the ones. I love. 

indiana mike- thank you guys sm for being awesome and kind and letting me into your lives so easily im #blessed

big billiam- im cryin

big dad ritch- this is too emo for me

big billiam- bye tho i gotta go vore some turkey

indiana mike- me 2

flat stanley- nvm i hate u 2

\--

_ the parti _

7:12 pm

indiana mike- i ate. So much.

will the wise- he ate like a whole pan of macaroni

i am your father- mood

elven- thanksgiving wasnt right with only 4 of us :(

madmax- tru tho our friendsgiving felt so empty :(

indiana mike- awwww

dust a nut- more pie for me tho :P

will the wise- we miss u guys

i am your father- miss u 2 too :(

madmax- this is emo

madmax- i have to go shopping now peace

elven- me too

indiana mike- have fun getting murdered

\--

_ //huggles// _

11:55 am

eight nights at eddies- I’m not getting out of bed today

big dad ritch- i wasnt going to either but now i wanna cuddle so i have to crawl to ur house now :(

flat stanley- im too full to do anything

there's a bEe?- yall weak

benjamin button- we cant all be buff like you, sir

there's a bEe?- :)

beverly hills chihuahua- i have… to work… time to be murdered by angery shoppers

indiana mike- will has to work too at least ur in this together

big billiam- mike if i come get u will u watch hsm with me

indiana mike- yes

big billiam- neat

big dad ritch- gay

big billiam- shut up

\--

_ the parti _

7:38 pm

indiana mike- bill and i watched all 3 high school musicals today

will the wise- oh did u? I got yelled at by 30 crazy people

indiana mike- sucks 

dust a nut- mikes a savage

i am your father- ^^

\--

_ //huggles// _

9:11 am

big dad ritch- it’s the 25th

big dad ritch- it’s been 2 years and 8 months since my heart was ripped out of my chest abd stomped on repeatedly

benjamin button- 2 years 8 months since the worst day of my life

eight nights at eddies- 2 years 8 months since i saw richie and ben and stan cry harder than i thought was humanly possible

big dad ritch- i cant believe the 25ht is cursed

big billiam- isnt zayn nasty tho

big dad ritch- kinda

benjamin button- that doesnt mean we cant feel the grief still

big billiam- 2 years and 8 months later??

big dad ritch- my world fell apart bill

eight nights at eddies- he had his phone set so everything would be black and white for a month

big dad ritch- i didnt want to see color in a world without zayn in 1d

indiana mike- that was the worst fuckigfn day oml

flat stanley- oh no youre a closet 1d stan arent you

indiana mike- YES i heard the news and had to go cry in the bathroom

indiana mike- i had a gf then she was very concerned i just told her that my grandma was sick 

benjamin button- MOOD

benjamin button- god,,,... i cried so hard it was not fun

big dad ritch- sometimes i go and watch ‘zayn pls come back’ videos and weep

flat stanley- ot4 for life but still… zayn blease imy kinda

indiana mike- funny that mitam is highkey the best album tho

big dad ritch- TRU like the other 4 are full of absolute BOPS but mitam..,,.,. Giv it a grammy

flat stanley- FOUR is my fav album but it has my 2 least faveorite 1d songs ever

benjamin button- here we go again

there's a bEe?- pls… make it stop

big dad ritch- oh right this is everyone

\--

_ after five incredible years _

9:31 am

indiana mike- what songs dont you like stan

flat stanley- once in a lifetime and change your ticket

benjamin button- i hate illusion

flat stanley- illusion is the best 1d song

indiana mike- that’s a bit muh but i dont hate it

flat stanley- YOU CAN TIE ME UP IN CHAINS YOU CAN THROW AWAY THE KEY BUT THERE’S NO TRAP DOOR IM NOT GONNA LEAVE

flat stanley- mike sometimes sings me 1d songs and ive requasted illusion bc its cute and sappy and he’s good at it and also everything else

big dad ritch- this isnt gush about your man time smh

big dad ritch- illusion is good, once in a lifetime is ok, change your ticket is cancer

indiana mike- ^^^^^^^!!!!!!!!

benjamin button- illusion is just satan farting into a micophone for a few minutes

benjamin button- once in a lifetime is artwork

benjamin button- SOMEHOW IT FEELS LIKE NOTHGING HAS CHANGED

flat stanley- ugh my ears hurt

indiana mike- yeah its not a song you can scream about

benjamin button- ok whats your favorite 1d song then

indiana mike- dont ask me to do this

big dad ritch- there’s a right answer

flat stanley- ^

indiana mike- a real right answer you all agree on?

benjamin button- yeah

indiana mike- home

big dad ritch- aaand he’s safe!

indiana mike- its gay

indiana mike- end of the day is about lesbians

benjamin button- i love u

flat stanley- he’s going to write poems about you now

indiana mike- home is the best song ever 

indiana mike- ha

indiana mike- i hate 1d

big dad ritch- ME TOO if i say a song is the best i gotta change my wording instead of saying best song ever like a normal person

flat stanley- and we danced all night

benjamin button- that music video tho

indiana mike- CUTE AS A BUTTON

indiana mike- EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU

benjamin button- i love

benjamin button- you

big dad ritch- ben chill

big dad ritch- ok i love 1d and im gay (im bi) and i have to go see my bf or i will cry probably

flat stanley- mood im makinf mike come get me 

benjamin button- bev is working :(

indiana mike- go get coffee there

indiana mike- if i ask bill to drive around will he crash the car if i put on 1d

big dad ritch- no he likes them & u enough to stand it

indiana mike- aw my bf can stand me :’)

\--

_ private message - big billiam and indiana mike _

9:53 am

indiana mike- ur coming to get me and we’re going on a drive adn we’re listening to 1d

big billiam- ok omw

\--

12:34 pm

indiana mike- we were talkin about ur mom before we got back to my house

indiana mike- we were getting a little ~deep

big billiam- oh yeah we were

big billiam- i was saying she’s always been great but she’s been a lot more active in my life since georgie went missing

indiana mike- georgie went missing?

big billiam- yeah

big billiam- ~3 years ago georgie went missing and everyone thought he had died

big billiam- but the losers and i went looking and we finally found him

indiana mike- that’s amazing that you found him

big billiam- thanks

big billiam- we don’t really remember what took him and he doesn’t remember much either 

\--

_ the parti _

12:45pm

indiana mike- (screenshot of that conversation)

indiana mike- interesting diction

i am your father- WHAT took him

dust a nut- 3 years ago

dust a nut- 30-3

dust a nut- 27

madmax- i think we all made that connection dustin

madmax- but yes that is bizarre 

elven- derry feels bad

will the wise- wow i love this

indiana mike- how does it feel bad

elven- cursed

will the wise- hhhhh

i am your father- fuck

dust a nut- SHIT

indiana mike- that’s what mikes grandfather thinks about this town

will the wise- neat!!!!!

indiana mike- we’re getting into it now

dust a nut- nye where ya at

i am your father- so a clown comes every 27 years and takes kids

i am your father- fun

\--

_ richie does not eat dog poop _

1:16 pm

big dad ritch- eat ass suck a dick sell drugs

flat stanley- sat drugs suck ass sell dick

there's a bEe?- sell ass suck drugs sell dick

eight nights at eddies- Eat grass sell ducks

benjamin button- sell grass eat ducks

beverly hills chihuahua- eat dick suck drugs sell ass   


big dad ritch- d u c k s

big dad ritch- *d u c k s *   


big dad ritch- ducks

flat stanley- wang

flat stanley- wangarang

beverly hills chihuahua- eat rich get ass

benjamin button- become a prostitute

there's a bEe?- Succ for a bucc

beverly hills chihuahua- bucc for a succ

flat stanley- succ for a ducc

flat stanley- ducc for a bucc

eight nights at eddies- Bucc for a ducc

big billiam- shucc for a ducc

\--

_ peace and quiet _

4:39 pm

**big billiam added indiana mike to the conversation**

big billiam- hey can we all start calling riche ‘lil dickie’ w/ no explanation

eight nights at eddies- Yes good plan

flat stanley- im on board

\--

_ //huggles// _

4:43 pm

there's a bEe?- hey lil dickie and mike when will u accept u look the same

indiana mike- we dont tf

eight nights at eddies- You do

big dad ritch- wait what

flat stanley- accept it

big dad ritch- ??????

beverly hills chihuahua- youre the same

indiana mike- cmon lil dickie stand up for us

big dad ritch- im

big dad ritch- what

indiana mike- LIL DICKIE PLS

benjamin button- haha loser

benjamin button- you look THE SAME

indiana mike- lil dickies bein a little BITCH not standing up for us smh i carry this friendship alone

big dad ritch- i amf so  confus ed

big dad ritch- who is lil dickie

flat stanley- lil dickie are u ok?

there's a bEe?- youre lil dickie?? U always have been

big dad ritch- what

big billiam- stop being weird lil dickie

big dad ritch- my name is richie

eight nights at eddies- Lil Dickie no i know my mans name wtf

big dad ritch- i need anap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a wheelbrough/IT discord and it's lit and there are 40+ people in it but here's the invite link in case u brave and want to join the chaos. --> https://discord.gg/QP8PWTz but warning they will assault u with FLESH JUICE the moment u join 
> 
> s/o to them tho i love evry1 in the server and i robbed from them a few times


	17. drugs?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a bEe?- indiana mike: walks in
> 
> there's a bEe?- georgie: im calling the police
> 
> benjamin button- canon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s/o to lev and levy for like all of the content in this chapter lol i robbed u ! i took stuff from other ppl too but idr who but ily
> 
> discord is still poppin yall we rabbit all day every day

_ //huggles// _

5:28 pm

eight nights at eddies- Hey any idea why Georgie just called me crying because Lil Dickie and I broke up

big dad ritch- we broke up?

eight nights at eddies- Apparently 

big dad ritch- this is news to me

flat stanley- when did you break up

eight nights at eddies- Idk man

there's a bEe?- what did georgie say

eight nights at eddies- He was crying I couldn't understand much past Lil Dickie and I broke up and he’s sorry

big dad ritch- he was crying :(

beverly hills chihuahua- are you not concerned that you brokd up

eight nights at eddies- Eh

big dad ritch- eh

benjamin button- what

big billiam- mike is meeting my family 

eight nights at eddies- ohhh

big dad ritch- that means nothing

flat stanley- you and indiana mike look the same so georgie prob thinks hes you

big dad ritch- sigh

there's a bEe?- don’t even start

beverly hills chihuahua- do not even 

indiana mike- georgie hates me bc he thinks im lil dickie and that i ruined his and eddies relationship

big dad ritch- you homewrecker

there's a bEe?- indiana mike: walks in

there's a bEe?- georgie: im calling the police

benjamin button- canon

\--

1:42 pm

flat stanley- im in study hall n watching some weird ass animated movie and a lamb is rolling around in dirt and thinks its a lion

flat stanley- lamb fucker

big billiam- hope it gets vored

flat stanley- im gonna vore it

flat stanley- wait is it kosher

flat stanley- i think so

flat stanley- oh yeah i can

there's a bEe?- a nice kosher vore

\--

_ richie does not eat dog poop _

6:12 pm

there's a bEe?- wht are we watching tonight

beverly hills chihuahua- yall ever see inglourious basterds

flat stanley- isnt that a holocaust movie

beverly hills chihuahua-  yeah but its funny

benjamin button- isnt that the one where u said hitler as h*t

beverly hills chihuahua- shut up ben

big billiam- ive heard of that movie

big billiam- why are we in the gc without my man >:(

there's a bEe?- i wasnt sure if he was coming

eight nights at eddies- Yeah didn’t he mention that Fridays were movie nights with Will

beverly hills chihuahua- CAN WILL COME TO MOVIE NIGHT

big dad ritch- i dont know will but sure

beverly hills chihuahua- only if hes down w/ the movie i want

big billiam- ill ask mike

beverly hills chihuahua- hon hon hon

benjamin button- youre not in french smh

big billiam- ok my man says yes to coming and yes to will and yes to the movie

flat stanley- that was fast

big billiam- he is with me

big dad ritch- gay

big billiam- shut up lil dickie

big billiam- yall come over whenever. mike told will to come over now

beverly hills chihuahua- yeet

\--

8:07 pm

flat stanley- my kippah?

flat stanley- SNATCHED

indiana mike- that fire vored hitler and those nazis so hard

\--

11:10 pm

indiana mike- will had a lot of fun thank u guys sm for inviting him

beverly hills chihuahua- i love will

beverly hills chihuahua- tiny boy angell boy

benjamin button- me 2

flat stanley- tell him he can come to more movie nights

there's a bEe?- :0 put us in a gc all together

indiana mike- i gotta ask him first smh

there's a bEe?- ask him

flat stanley- ask. him. 

indiana mike- jeez

big dad ritch- jeez stanlon chill

flat stanley- stanlon?

big dad ritch- would u prefer stike

there's a bEe?- huris?

there's a bEe?- yeah stanlon is the best

indiana mike- ok will is asleep probably i’ll get backto yall on a gc w him laterr

flat stanley- yeet

\--

_ big billiams big birthday big bash- big dad ritch, flat stanley, there’s a bEe?, beverly hills chihuahua, benjamin button, eight nights at eddies _

9:45 am

**big dad ritch added indiana mike to the conversations**

big dad ritch- hey

benjamin button- whats up lil dickie

beverly hills chihuahua- wow this gc is old

indiana mike- why are we here

big dad ritch- Well, as you all know, bill started a conspiracy where you all call me lil dickie

eight nights at eddies- How do you know Bill started it

big dad ritch- i just know

beverly hills chihuahua- did u snoop in eddies phone

eight nights at eddies- Lil Dickie…

big dad ritch- ok i was confused shut up yes i snooped

big dad ritch- anyway i have 2 get back at him so we’re all calling him wilhelm now

indiana mike- mmm wilhelm my bf

there's a bEe?- why wilhelm

big dad ritch- its an ugly german name

eight nights at eddies- Ew say it out loud..

big dad ritch- exactly

flat stanley- so youre lil dickie and hes wilhelm now

big dad ritch- :)

\--

//huggles//

12:01 am

there's a bEe?- i m gettin g my wisdom teeth out today andim shtitogn my pants

big billiam- um

benjamin button- today??

flat stanley- yeah poor bby

beverly hills chihuahua- did u just learn right now or are u a fake friend

there's a bEe?- im a fake frien di was too nervous to tel nyone but stan

there's a bEe?- i am still nervous aefhdkjcx,m

eight nights at eddies- Aw Mike you’ll be fine

indiana mike- yeah when my sister got hers out it wasnt bad

there's a bEe?- hhhhhhhhh

there's a bEe?- im abou t to leave fo rht e DENTIST

flat stanley- good luck baby i love u

there's a bEe?- :(   
\--

1:54 pm

there's a bEe?- hhhhhh

flat stanley- how do you feel

there's a bEe?- i love stankey urisa withbf all my heartdj

big dad ritch- awwwww

benjamin button- pure

there's a bEe?- he's such a pure babie

big billiam- stankey urisa

there's a bEe?- stOPpg

eight nights at eddies- You feel ok man?

there's a bEe?- NO

indiana mike- aw why

there's a bEe?- I can't give stanleytj a hugd

flat stanley- mike! Yes u can omg

there's a bEe?- he deservesajd  an award

beverly hills chihuahua- this is the cutest thing

there's a bEe?- fpr beiggn suchs a godo boy

there's a bEe?- stan plase coem over I hve kosher coockies

flat stanley- im coming over when ur grandpa says i can

there's a bEe?- kts rlly not fair that I can't give stanley a hug

flat stanley- mikeeee….

there's a bEe?- but I want tonhokd stabkey

flat stanley- mike im omw

eight nights at eddies- And I call Lil Dickie clingy smh

there's a bEe?- imc rying own

big dad ritch- why

there's a bEe?- I'm cryibff becsuse patrick threw stanlyls kippah

there's a bEe?- made me sda

flat stanley- mike patrick hasnt been around for years

there's a bEe?- MADE MES AD

flat stanley- he didnt even know us when patrick bothered us

big billiam- he did frisbee your kippah a lot tho

flat stanley- tru

there's a bEe?- sad

flat stanley- ok im at mikes now and im going to take his phone

there's a bEe?- NO

benjamin button- what

there's a bEe?- nOBVNKK

there's a bEe?- NOT M Y PHONE TOO

there's a bEe?- NO MORE STEA;IN G

beverly hills chihuahua- ???

there's a bEe?- FIST TMY TEETH

there's a bEe?- NNOW MY PHO NE

big dad ritch- oh my god

indiana mike- iconic

big dad ritch- hahah fist my teeth

eight nights at eddies- Beep beep Lil Dickie

big dad ritch- :D

flat stanley- oh my   god

flat stanley- ok bye u guys

indiana mike- bye stan good luck with mike

\--

11:46 pm

benjamin button- I NEAARLY DIED HEARY ATTACK I DROPPED MY OHONE PULLED EARBUD OUT NI MYSIC ON ACCIDENTALLY HUT THE BIT ON EARBUD THAT PLAYS MUSIC UPRISING BY MUSE SYARS FULLL VOLUME IM CRYING

benjamin button- HEKJKJNFUCKFUCKFUCKFUFCKLF4

beverly hills chihuahua- ben omg

benjamin button- my life flashed before my yeeyes

big dad ritch- what

benjamin button- i ned to calm donw ihfdjckn

eight nights at eddies- Omg

indiana mike- what happened lmao

big billiam- ben lol

benjamin button- pk mfnh my god

benjamin button- i dropped my phone and my earbud fell out but i wasnt listening to anythign

benjamin button- and then i ut my earbud back in but i accidentally hit play with the fancy remote thing 

benjamin button- and uprising by muse started playing FULL VOLUME BLASITNG IN MY EARS

benjamin button- heart attack

beverly hills chihuahua- og my god

big dad ritch- lmaoooooo ben u clutz

benjamin button- shut up lil dickie

big dad ritch- ok im outtie

beverly hills chihuahua- u ok thp

benjamin button- yeah im good now

benjamin button- i love near death experiences

indiana mike- mood

\--

1:47 am

eight nights at eddies- we don’t want anymore animals. Give them back to god.

\--

10:21 am

eight nights at eddies- I mean. Ok. 

there's a bEe?- edieid what rea you going to do to mhy farm friends

there's a bEe?- plase donte  kilkl them

flat stanley- hes crying

eight nights at eddies- MIKE I’M SORRY I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WAS SAYING

there's a bEe?- i lvoe my afaarm freirnds

indiana mike- speaking of friends

indiana mike- will said sure to being in a gc with u guys but um i should prob wait to add him until mike is better

there's a bEe?- i wilk scare the nagel bou

flat stanley- probably for the best… to wait…

indiana mike- yeahhhh……

\--

_ the parti _

10:35 am

indiana mike- will mike is high on wisdom teeth so im waiting to add u to the gc until he is sane bc he is. 

indiana mike- crying

will the wise- alright lol

madmax- oh so now will is leaving us too?

indiana mike- NO he is making friends

will the wise- i went to movie night and we watched a holocaust movie

will the wise- hitler got freakin merked

indiana mike- hitler got vored by fire

i am your father- thats not a fun movie night movie

will the wise- bev wanted to watch it

madmax- is bev my replacement

indiana mike- jfc max

madmax- shes a redhead

will the wise- yeah but youre still cool

indiana mike- she has short hair

elven- my replacement then

indiana mike- im…

will the wise- lmao

dust a nut- look what you did mike

indiana mike- this is fine

dust a nut- all jokes aside will im happy youre friends with them

i am your father- this makes nye easier

indiana mike- oh fuck lol

madmax- what

indiana mike- haha i havet told them that you guys are comgin

will the wise- MIKE

indiana mike- hehe

elven- go tell them now!

indiana mike- i CANT mike is high

elven- drugs?

indiana mike- no he got his wisdom teeth out

elven- wisdom teeth?

dust a nut- has hopper not. 

i am your father- wow

indiana mike- you guys have fun explaining ! im leaving

madmax- fake

\--

_ //huggles// _

12:11 pm

there's a bEe?- im figerally impaired

there's a bEe?- i dotn know hwat words are

flat stanley- awesome

\--

_ private message - there’s a bEe? and indiana mike _

1:33 pm

there's a bEe?- micke i love you

there's a bEe?- bilklk is so hapy andyuo are so cool and i kn ooloe you

there's a bEe?- love

indiana mike- aw mike

there's a bEe?- WED HAVE THE SAME NAMEHOLLLYYY

indiana mike- yeah we do

there's a bEe?- wow that is soc ool

there's a bEe?- i cacntb belibe htis

there's a bEe?- i l.love you like i loefe stany

there's a bEe?- just kissding i love stank te most

indiana mike- mike youre high

there's a bEe?- im FIEN

there's a bEe?- i be takinf so many drogs

indiana mike- ok mike

\--

_ private message - flat stanley and indiana mike _

1:44 pm

indiana mike- (screenshot)

indiana mike- come collect your man

flat stanley- oh my god he called me stank

\--

_ //huggles// _

2:10 pm

indiana mike- wilhelm do u wanna go get coffee

indiana mike- will’s working

big billiam- who’s wilhelm

big billiam- u cheating on me already

indiana mike- no silly im asking you

big billiam- ok who leaked to lil dickie that i started calling him his new name

eight nights at eddies- Not it

big billiam- eddie…

eight nights at eddies- He snooped :(

big billiam- lil dickie how could u

big dad ritch- how could i what, wilhelm

there's a bEe?- if we’re doing this…

there's a bEe?- i love my bf stank

benjamin button- STANK

indiana mike- he called him stank

flat stanley- wow

beverly hills chihuahua- lil dickie, wilhelm, and stank

beverly hills chihuahua- eddie is next

eight nights at eddies- WHY

benjamin button- circle of life

big billiam- ooh i wanna watch lion king

indiana mike- wilhelm lets go to the coffeeshop n watch lion king on my laptop

big billiam- :”)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> timeline getitgn confusing but i dont care :)
> 
> uh also,,,.. will... mike and stan sure were eager for his #...,.,


	18. alienz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big dad ritch- welcum 2 the groupchat homeslice my name is RICHIE. RICHIE. say it
> 
> will the wise- richie?
> 
> indiana mike- his name is lil dickie
> 
> big dad ritch- R I C H I E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fern asked & i delivered. ;)
> 
> also i accidentally skipped alien party bc im dumb so let’s pretend i said itd be in 2 weeks and not 1 and that its been about a week since last chapter. I want to write them all on drugs (also get fucked @myself i couldve done high mike as actual high mike and not wisdom teeth mike this is fine)

_//huggles//_

12:11 pm

big dad ritch- whats mine n eds ship name

beverly hills chihuahua- reddie

big dad ritch- wtf that has eddies whole ass name in it

eight nights at eddies- What else could it be

big dad ritch- richie

eight nights at eddies- That’s just Your whole ass name

big dad ritch- rich from me

big dad ritch- ie from you :)

benjamin button- vetoed

big dad ritch- riddie

eight nights at eddies- I’m getting riddie you

big dad ritch- ouch

big billiam- lil deddie

eight nights at eddies- Perfect

big dad ritch- shut up wilhelm

flat stanley- so mike and i are stanlon, you two are lil deddie, what are the other ship names

benjamin button- bike

indiana mike- bad

benjamin button- bmike

big billiam- vetoed

big dad ritch- mikhelm

eight nights at eddies- That’s good but could be better

there's a bEe?- wheelbrough

flat stanley- mike hanlon you genius

indiana mike- i like that

big billiam- sound like wheelbarrow

big dad ritch- i still like mikhelm

big billiam- ok lil dickie

there's a bEe?- ben and bev are benverly

benjamin button- what about harsh

benjamin button- no

beverly hills chihuahua- bevjamin

beverly hills chihuahua- no

benjamin button- benv

there's a bEe?- benverly

beverly hills chihuahua- marshcom

beverly hills chihuahua- yeah benverly

big dad ritch- why am i the only one forced to use my weird fake name

eight nights at eddies- I have to use it too, Lil Dickie

big dad ritch- u chose that life

flat stanley- we r all so cute

\--

1:34 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- i love the crampy cramps

benjamin button- aw babe

beverly hills chihuahua- I am basically satans disciple if these damn cramps won't go away

eight nights at eddies- I misread that’s Stan’s disciples

there's a bEe?- We Are All Stan’s Disciples

big dad ritch- Hail Uris

flat stanley- yes

beverly hills chihuahua- stanky can u cure my cramps

flat stanley- i can give u some advil

beverly hills chihuahua- perfect

\--

_private message - big billiam and indiana mike_

2:53 pm

indiana mike- do u want a brand new gc with will or can he be in huggles

big billiam- new one

big billiam- none of us are fans of adding ppl to groupchats already in existence stanky would probably hit me

\--

_groupchat (losers + mike + will)_

3:02 pm

indiana mike- everyone this is will

will the wise- i know them all already dupid

flat stanley- hi will!!! :)

there's a bEe?- welcome! to a group chat with us

flat stanley- we r excited to get to know u better

there's a bEe?- ^^ rt

beverly hills chihuahua- aw will i lov u im so happy ur in this now

 **will the wise named the chat** **_beverly is a nice human and I respect her_ **

beverly hills chihuahua- PURE

eight nights at eddies- Aw

big dad ritch- welcum 2 the groupchat homeslice my name is RICHIE. RICHIE. say it

will the wise- richie?

indiana mike- his name is lil dickie

big dad ritch- R I C H I E

will the wise- why

big billiam- bc im a genius thats why

big dad ritch- shut your stupid pie hole wilhelm

flat stanley- be nice to wilhelm smh

big dad ritch- u shut yours too, stanky

will the wise- ok these r fun names

benjamin button- eddie will be the next one to get a name

benjamin button- probably

eight nights at eddies- I don’t want one

flat stanley- ok mEDicine

eight nights at eddies- fock

\--

_groupchat (indiana mike, big dad ritch, benjamin button, there’s a bee?, eight nights at eddies, flat stanley)_

4:23 pm

 **big dad ritch named the conversation** **_thanks mme bernard for ruining my grade_ **

big dad ritch- what do u guys think of the work from today!

big dad ritch- stanky idk what she did in your class but !!!!!!!!

indiana mike- wait stanky is in french?

flat stanley- yeah i’m a year behind you guys though because they all started in middle school and i,,, did not

flat stanley- but she wasnt too wild today what’d she do for you guys

eight nights at eddies- the bellwork was asking us if we believe in hell

flat stanley- yike

benjamin button- then she got pissy when alex the atheist said she didn’t

flat stanley- Yike

there's a bEe?- then she told us that heaven and hell and god are all real but like. angrily.

flat stanley- YIKE

benjamin button- you guys hear the rumor she’s leaving?

big dad ritch- COME A FUCKING GAIN????????!

indiana mike- youre going to kill lil dickie, ben, don’t spring it on him

big dad ritch- DID U ALREADY KNOW, ,,, INDIANA?

indiana mike- yeah :/

eight nights at eddies- We didn’t want to tell you until we knew for sure

eight nights at eddies- @ Ben smh

benjamin button- haha oops :)

big dad ritch- DETAILS OR ITS BULLSHIT

there's a bEe?- i have a buddy who is an office TA and she saw mme bernard and the vp interviewing people to replace her

there's a bEe?- and bernard said she hadnt told her students shes leaving

big dad ritch- im hyperbventinlating a little i have nevr beent his happy in mu lufe

eight nights at eddies- He is going to pass out

big dad ritch- i dotn care im am.  thrilld.

benjamin button- mood

indiana mike- Bood

there's a bEe?- you hate her that much already

indiana mike- yes she makes me hate french after 3 weeks

flat stanley- mood

big dad ritch- erjhfdhejhfkndj

big dad ritch- im crin a little im so happtrg

\--

_beverly is a nice human and I respect her_

6:43 pm

indiana mike- remember after hurricane harvey when ann coulter said that tx having a lesbian mayor was a more likely cause than global warming

indiana mike- i still ficking laugh

big dad ritch- are you for real indiana…. God hates gay people

big dad ritch- didnt ya know?

big dad ritch- or are you one of those goddamn moslums

big dad ritch- taking our jobs. Blowing up out statues honoring great men such as the first grand wizard, daddie bedford forrest. Back when those goddamn minorities didnt run shit.

benjamin button- you made bev cry

big dad ritch- she should be crying

big dad ritch- shes one of those goddamn sinners

big dad ritch- the lord will get you and MAKE YOU RUE THE DAY

big dad ritch- pardon my language, but you will go to heck

beverly hills chihuahua- lil dickie you are bi

big dad ritch- TO HECK

there's a bEe?- LIL DICKIE im cryimg

there's a bEe?- daddie bedford forrest

big dad ritch- :P

eight nights at eddies- Lil Dickie oml

indiana mike- this is not what i expected

will the wise- oh… my god

\--

_richie does not eat dog poop_

12:43 am

big dad ritch- му αѕѕнσℓє ιѕ ∂яιρριиg ωιтн ℓσνє ʝυι¢єѕ

big dad ritch- ι ¢αи'т ωαιт fσя ∂єαтн

big billiam- thank u for saying that in the gc without my bf

\--

6:32 am

benjamin button- should we change the name of this gc

flat stanley- why would we do that

benjamin button- thats not his name

flat stanley- good point

big dad ritch- noooo

**eight nights at eddies renamed the conversation _lil dickie eats dog poop_**

big dad ritch- get fuckec

**big dad ritch renamed the conversation _lil dickie does not eat dog poop_**

big dad ritch- fuck i didnt change everything

beverly hills chihuahua- its too late. thats its name now

there's a bEe?- finally

big billiam- hehe he called himself lil dickie

\--

_beverly is a nice human and I respect her_

1:12 pm

big dad ritch- who are you guys partnered with for the big apush project

big dad ritch- i wasnt paying attention when he told us our groups

eight nights at eddies- You’re with Indiana Mike and Ben

big dad ritch- hell yeah

will the wise- im requested ppl from other classes & he put me with stan and mike h

flat stanley- ::))

there's a bEe?- :::)))

big billiam- eddie and i are together + peter who eddie knows from frrench

big dad ritch- peter is cool

beverly hills chihuahua- im with fern and her gf they r so cute together and fern is so cool and my new bff

big billiam- thanks

beverly hills chihuahua- ok you guys are my best guy friends and also my boyfriend

benjamin button- thats me :)

beverly hills chihuahua- fern is a QUEEN ok so pure so kind so cool

will the wise- go beverly, making new friends

flat stanley- keep the old one is silver the other’s GOLD

there's a bEe?- we’re golden friends

indiana mike- does that make will and i silver friends

beverly hills chihuahua- if silver friends are new friends then only you are one sorry wheeler :/

beverly hills chihuahua- will and i have worked together for ages

will the wise- and i still never met richie

eight nights at eddies- Maybe you didn’t look very hard at him

benjamin button- his bug eyes distract from most of his face maybe you briefly met him but he hid his looks with his glasses and personality

big dad ritch- im not sure if i should be offended or not

big billiam- me neither

will the wise- sounded like an insult tbh

\--

2:01 am

will the wise- If dolphins were real they wouldp roabbaly be really cute

9:52 am

will the wise- im special

flat stanley- aw

there's a bEe?- good news will.

flat stanley- dolphins ARE real

will the wise- wow! are they!

flat stanley- we could even go to the zoo and see some

will the wise- tbh could we

there's a bEe?- i ahve a membership !!

\--

_private message - flat stanley and there’s a bEe?_

9:58 am

flat stanley- side eye

there's a bEe?- worm?

\--

_private message - big billiam and indiana mike_

9:59 am

big billiam- u see that?

indiana mike- i see that.

indiana mike- stan n mike seem very…. Eenthusiastic to talk to will

big billiam- inter esting

\--

_//huggles//_

12:32 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- alien party tonight folks

beverly hills chihuahua- we hittin it Up

beverly hills chihuahua- i assume its not wil’s scene

indiana mike- u assume correctly

big billiam- cant wait to mcfreakin lose it 2nite

flat stanley- cant wait to nut over mulder

there's a bEe?- also cant wait to nut over mulder

big dad ritch- do you guys have your mandatory glitter yet

benjamin button- wait bev were u serious about the glitter

beverly hills chihuahua- yes

benjamin button- then no

big dad ritch- i do i will allow u all some beautiful shiny face glitter

eight nights at eddies- Lil Dickie to the rescue

\--

9:32 pm

big dad ritch- hte glitier is at my mansed hiuse so ugh go there ot get it im already hifhg

eight nights at eddies- Lil Dickie oml

eight nights at eddies- But yeah the glitter is here come get it and we can all go together

beverly hills chihuahua- the governetmn id watching is ollok out evryoen

eight nights at eddies- You guys got any edibles

big dad ritch- oh no kmedicine hass assmtha :(

benjamin button- there are brownies

benjamin button- idk how strong tho i had a half of one n nothing

eight nights at eddies- You just wait buddy

indiana mike- is anyone going to be sober

big billiam- no lol

indiana mike- sounds safe

flat stanley- dont eat all the brownies save some 4 wimps like me n medicine

there's a bEe?- haha stanky is a wimp

flat stanley- not everyone can be mr i live on a secluded farm and have lots of practice time and can blow smoke rings like u smh

big dad ritch- ofmc stankuy is that ur newe last name

big dad ritch- yiu teo are marrie

big dad ritch- d

beverly hills chihuahua- hhury over all the lebians are alreadfy jere and i mis syiu all :(

benjamin button- shes crying lol

eight nights at eddies- On the way!

\--

10:21 pm

benjamin button- whrheh are you guys

eight nights at eddies- Righ besode you man

benjamin button- whaattatat

big billiam- ben how many did u eat

benjamin button- hehehe oopsises

indiana mike- i am awhole feather an there is a strong of ROCSJKJ tying mw to  the round i want ot float awAy

big billiam- king od weed

eight nights at eddies- I WAR NT TO DANCR

flat stanley- come dance with me medifvieen

there's a bEe?- i obe lmy boy freind st illl

there's a bEe?- stnaky ill

indiana mike- wormy?

big dad ritch- I MSID MY MAN eddife where are youuuuuuuuuuuuuu

eight nights at eddies- danching wiht stanky baby

beverly hills chihuahua- yuy uguys…………….. THE GOEVRTGM,ENT

big billiam- i love you     all

\--

_the parti_

11:28 pm

indiana mike- if you sck en egg adn swallow ir, did u vore a chikcen,,,,,,.,.,.,.

will the wise- omg

madmax- go to sleep mike

indiana mike- sleep isnt rea l max the GOVERNMENT MAD IT UP

elven- it did?

dust a nut- what

elven- just kidding i know it didn’t

elven- mike are you okay

will the wise- hes at an alien party

i am your father- a PARTY

indiana mike- alinz

will the wise- hes with bev and them

will the wise- right? Yyou have to at least be with bev to be on about the government

indiana mike- WE SHOKD KNOW BETTER THAN TO SUUCCUM TO GOV3RNMENT SCHEMES

indiana mike- THEY L I E

elven- we know

i am your father- yeah we’re all aware

dust a nut- doesnt mean they made up sleep though

indiana mike- im a rocky feather

elven- what is an alien party

madmax- oh mike

indiana mike- goof night

\--

_beverly is a nice human and I respect her_

4:12 pm

indiana mike- i love sleeping

flat stanley- ok mood i woke up an hour ago feeling so refreshed

will the wise- do you love sleeping, mike?

indiana mike- yeah?

will the wise- last night you texted the gc saying that the government made up sleeping and that its not real

big billiam- omg

indiana mike- i have… no memory

beverly hills chihuahua- i believe it

ben the ignorant- i have a faint memory of bev going on about the governemtn and sleep

there's a bEe?- wait whats with the name xhange ben

ben the ignorant- what

ben the ignorant- omg

beverly hills chihuahua- I THINK ID DID THT

beverly hills chihuahua- ben the ignorant omg

big dad ritch- what’d he do to deserve that omg

eight nights at eddies- Bev why

beverly hills chihuahua- lemme check texts in a sec but i think he texted me asking for ‘baken’ and genuinely thought thats how bacon is spelled

big billiam- he shouldnt be allowed to change it back to benjamin button

ben the ignorant- oh cmon wilhelm

flat stanley- keep it

ben the ignorant- u too stanky :(

there's a bEe?- KEEP IT

ben the ignorant- FINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> daddie bedford forrest bit is from my buddy who is the most dramatic man i know and i lov him and i wept when he sent those texts.  
> lots of credit to discord but idk who said what and when so just take this vague statement  
> also ben the ignorant is what my friend called her bf and its honestly so canon


	19. bird porn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big dad ritch- what do youthink macklemore is doing right now
> 
> big dad ritch- nevermidn wait im going to bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is all robbed from my sister and my friends and the discord... creds to lev and gremlin hannah and some vic... and to some other ppl sorry when i rob i dont always write who said it my bad :)
> 
> I forgot about ben the ignorant and almost gave him the wrong name but i saved us. my buddys bf is so dumb i lov him they once came over to hang out w me n my dog and he talked about planes for an hour and tell me thats not this ben. bens are so pure.

_ private message - big dad ritch and eight nights at eddies _

2:55 pm

eight nights at eddies- I have 2 thing for u in my room

eight nights at eddies- One of them is a can of who pass

big dad ritch- what’s the other

eight nights at eddies- You have to come over to find out

\--

_ beverly is a nice human and I respect her _

3:48 pm

big dad ritch- story time- my bf tried to kill me

eight nights at eddies- I told u i had a can of whoopass

big dad ritch- u said can of who pass

big dad ritch- and u said u had 2 thing

beverly hills chihuahua- what was the 2nd thing 

beverly hills chihuahua- was it another can of whoopass?

big dad ritch- it was another can of whoopass

eight nights at eddies- :)

big dad ritch- the face of a MURDERER

will the wise- what

flat stanley- it happens

\--

4:21 pm

ben the ignorant- u wanna know what bev wrote in my planner today

eight nights at eddies- Oooh what she do

ben the ignorant- a nice to do list

beverly hills chihuahua- helping him get organized :)

ben the ignorant- buy eggs, flour, cinnamon, sugar, oil, and water for dough

ben the ignorant- make churros

ben the ignorant- bring beverly churros

ben the ignorant- thanks

beverly hills chihuahua- a nice to do list :)

there's a bEe?- this is so pure

there's a bEe?- i know how to make churros do u want some

ben the ignorant- mike she is going to leave me for u

there's a bEe?- none offense bev but no thanks

beverly hills chihuahua- rt i like ben

flat stanley- mike teach me how 2 make churros tomorrowww

will the wise-  i love churros

there's a bEe?- if u come to my house tomorrow night i can teach you And stan

will the wise- i have work >:(

flat stanley- quit ur job

will the wise- i like my job tho

indiana mike- do u

will the wise- i like the money my job gives me tho

there's a bEe?- we’ll just have to make some extras for you 

beverly hills chihuahua- and me bithc

big dad ritch- me too

big billiam- mm churros

big billiam- georgie likes churros too

will the wise- whom is georgie

flat stanley- the light of my life

there's a bEe?- bills little brother who i would do anything for

eight nights at eddies- We love Georgie

indiana mike- georgie doesnt like me bc he thinks im richie and that im cheating on eddie with bill

big billiam- yeah hes mad at me over that too

big dad ritch- he hasnt seen us both yet even tho he shouldnt have to bc we dont look the same at all

will the wise- i hate this

will the wise- wait i was at bills where was georgie

indiana mike- he sleep

indiana mike- a lot

\--

_ lettuce (bev + bill + richie) _

4:56 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- hey did u guys ntice that mike and stan invited will to date night

big dad ritch- i did notice

big dad ritch- if he didnt have work were they just gonna make churros with him and eat them together like a whole date?

big billiam- mike says will just thinks theyre being friendly

beverly hills chihuahua- they keep being flirty

beverly hills chihuahua- i would be concerned but its both of them!

big billiam- i support

big billiam- i hear will has been through Some Things and he deserves 2 be happy

big dad ritch- first they want to go to the zoo with him

big billiam- that did not happen but mike said will was confused over it a bit

big dad ritch- then they invite him to date night

beverly hills chihuahua- they were also really eager for his # after movie night

beverly hills chihuahua- we all been friends w this kid like a week and theyre already half asking him out

big dad ritch- those 2 gotta chill

big billiam- rt

\--

11:23 pm

big dad ritch- i want to see my little boy

flat stanley- I love That vINE

flat stanley- here he coMeS

eight nights at eddies- if u truly loved it , stanky,

eight nights at eddies- u would have finished it first

flat stanley- darn you're right

flat stanley- i cannot express my disappointment

eight nights at eddies- forgive me

big dad ritch- i dont forgive

flat stanley- I was too busy keeping kosher man

flat stanley- eating my matzos

beverly hills chihuahua- vines are kosher

eight nights at eddies- you little bird fuckign shit cock

flat stanley- wow okay

eight nights at eddies- dont test me

eight nights at eddies- i have knives for fingers and my body runs on pure rage alonej

flat stanley- I go by a new name now

eight nights at eddies- i will shred u like the sunday newspaper

flat stanley- hot

big dad ritch-  (;

big dad ritch- like daddy moses

eight nights at eddies-  eat shit birdy

big dad ritch- honored & aroused

flat stanley- wow ;;; hot

big billiam-  mind if i ,,,,,,, vore

indiana mike- depends on the vore

there's a bEe?-  vegan vore

indiana mike- hmmm

indiana mike- possibly

ben the ignorant- you know hwat really fluffs me up

ben the ignorant- bird porn

flat stanley- youre sick

flat stanley- fucking’sick

flat stanley- disgusting foul mouthed fool

ben the ignorant- u rite

flat stanley- you think thats funny?

flat stanley- you think thats a JOKE

ben the ignorant- I feel hatred in this chilis tonight

flat stanley- YOU KNOW HOW MANY BIRDS WERE SEX TRAFFICKED THIS YEAR ALONE

flat stanley- 8

ben the ignorant- 5573883

flat stanley- BUT SURE

ben the ignorant- oh

flat stanley- GO ABEAD AND MAKE YOUR LITTLE JOKES

flat stanley- GO AHEAD AND S H I T O N THE LIVES OF OUR FLIGHTED BRETHREN

flat stanley- GO AHEAD AND DO AS YOUFUCKING PLEASE

flat stanley- BUT DONT EXPECT ANY OF US TO SUPPORT YOU

ben the ignorant- got it

flat stanley- DONT EXPECT A SINGLE SHRED OF SYMPATHY WHEN YOUNFIND YOURSELF FEVERED WITH SHAME AND GUILT

flat stanley- ALL BECAUSE U HAD THE SINGULAR AUDACITY

flat stanley- TO MAKE A JOKE

flat stanley- ABOUT

flat stanley- bird porn

beverly hills chihuahua- birbs

ben the ignorant- I mean porn for birds but okay I guess

ben the ignorant- porn equality

flat stanley-well thats a different concept entirely

flat stanley- i seemed to have overreacted

flat stanley- my apologies

ben the ignorant- i should have specified it's quite alright

flat stanley- haha talk about EMBARRASSING am i right fellas

flat stanley- really cocked that one up stan

beverly hills chihuahua- hahahhfhhah,,

flat stanley- actually no

will the wise-  Y a l l

flat stanley- i DIDNT cock ut up

flat stanley- because porn for birds is EQUALLY AS SHAMEFUL

there's a bEe?- hello william

flat stanley- william the millium

will the wise- I don’t know what’s going on and I don’t think I want to

there's a bEe?- porn for birds

flat stanley- bird for porns

ben the ignorant- no !

will the wise- Oh my god

flat stanley- hey

flat stanley- bird fuckign shit cock

flat stanley- remember where u came from

flat stanley- remember who Made You

eight nights at eddies- i don't remember

flat stanley- me mothegffuckef

eight nights at eddies- oh

eight nights at eddies- seems legit

flat stanley- dont disrespect me in front of my kids

eight nights at eddies- but doesn't that make me your child?

flat stanley- it makes you a little bitch is what it makes yok

eight nights at eddies- :(

will the wise-  I’m just gonna

will the wise- Go back to work.

indiana mike- santa stay a while

will the wise- Santa?

there's a bEe?- santa babie

flat stanley- snata bb

big dad ritch- should i buy a grub online

ben the ignorant- I mean if you want to

ben the ignorant- don't want to force you to do anything

big dad ritch- did i ask u bird

ben the ignorant- I don't know :(

big dad ritch- i did

big dad ritch- just keepign u on yr toes

ben the ignorant- gotcha

eight nights at eddies- prankekd

ben the ignorant- I feel bamboozled

eight nights at eddies- bamboowlle

eight nights at eddies- fuck

big dad ritch- it's ok

ben the ignorant- try again

eight nights at eddies- inwas tryin g to type that word but u got to it first

ben the ignorant- sorry

eight nights at eddies- it’s alright i’ll win the next race

ben the ignorant- I bet

big billiam- bet on it

ben the ignorant- I'll let you win the next one

indiana mike- im not goknan stop

big billiam- not gonna stop ftil i get my shot

indiana mike- thats who i am that is my plan plaknto end up on top u can

big billiam- bet oknit betonit ebton tittniy

will the wise- wooo

big dad ritch- im goingn to swallow a tape worm wish me luck

eight nights at eddies- no ! don't !

eight nights at eddies- I'll be sad :(

big dad ritch- yeah u’ll be sad because ill have a sweet ass fuckking tape worm in my stomach and u’ll have nothign haha loser

eight nights at eddies- D:

big dad ritch-i love being me

there's a bEe?- wow

beverly hills chihuahua- is that a vine reference

there's a bEe?- it could be

beverly hills chihuahua- i wont ever know for sure

beverly hills chihuahua- that will haunt me

there's a bEe?- muahahahah

beverly hills chihuahua- do you enjoy playing these twsited little mind games

beverly hills chihuahua- u sick FUCK

there's a bEe?- I mean sometimes I guess

flat stanley- unbelievable

there's a bEe?- maybe it's the lack of meat I eat which causes it  

big dad ritch- im gonna swallow two tape worms

big dad ritch- let em duke it out

eight nights at eddies- that's not a good idea but okay I guess

big dad ritch- three

big dad ritch- three tape worms

eight nights at eddies- if you end up hurt I won't be sorry for you

big dad ritch- whats that? i should do four?

big dad ritch- well okay i guess

indiana mike- you have a death wish

big dad ritch- five tapeworms? cant believe ur making me do this lol

will the wise- I pray for you

big dad ritch- whoa jesus slow down idk if i can do six

big dad ritch- just kidding six it is

eight nights at eddies- kay

big dad ritch- gn from me & my worms

big dad ritch- i’ll be back after my full resting period of twenty five minutes

beverly hills chihuahua- night night then

eight nights at eddies- sweet dreams love of my life

eight nights at eddies- soulmate for the ages

big dad ritch- wow ily 

eight nights at eddies- my twin flame

eight nights at eddies- <3

big dad ritch- medicine I think we are going to need to make room in our marriage

big dad ritch- poly marriage all the way

eight nights at eddies- a little poly never killed nobody

big dad ritch- exactly

eight nights at eddies- there's no one stopping us now so I guess we're married now

eight nights at eddies- live with it

big dad ritch- u hear that fuckers

big dad ritch- me & all my worms just TIED THE KNOT

eight nights at eddies- I love every single worm too

big dad ritch- all ten of them

eight nights at eddies- of course

will the wise- Jesus 

beverly hills chihuahua- beautiful tape worms

big dad ritch- what do youthink macklemore is doing right now

big dad ritch- nevermidn wait im going to bed

eight nights at eddies- yes go to bed

big dad ritch- gn eternal lover

eight nights at eddies- lof you

\--

6:43 am

eight nights at eddies- did you know that the average human male is 4 times the size of a. Lizard

beverly hills chihuahua- correct.

\--

1:12 pm

flat stanley- "maybe the grinch is just a grumpy jew" - some kid in my class

will the wise- i mean

will the wise- kid’s right

there's a bEe?- rt

\--

2:43 pm

there's a bEe?- Makes ya moister than an oyster

flat stanley- Osyrt

will the wise- Oysyer

will the wise- Moyster than an oyster

big billiam- why

\--

_ the parti _

3:09 pm

indiana mike- What if when we die our parents vore us in heaven to be reborn?

i am your father- im not coming to visit you

indiana mike- understandable

\--

_ beverly is a nice human and I respect her _

3:18 pm

big billiam- If my mum ate her dildo would she technically have vored it?

big dad ritch- why are u thinking about that

big billiam- aha xx :)

\--

_ the parti _

3:20 pm

will the wise- (screenshot of ^^ that)

will the wise- dead ass

will the wise- soul mates right there

madmax- i said it before i say it again mike u marry him right now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me sitting, invisble, watching the discord just happen, copying and pasting evreything lev says: hehehehe >:)
> 
> @ the discord im love u guy s :( <3
> 
> also also if u missed it i wrote a will/mike/stan thingy thing :) go read it


	20. cum guzzler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a bEe?- my favorite thing is to go to mcdonalds and eat chicken nuggets by myself
> 
> big dad ritch- my favorite thing is tapeworms
> 
> will the wise- My favorite thing is guns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is p shrt but if net neutrality is taken away uh buh bye ao3 so i want this Out :/
> 
> credit to:::: mari, whom is dead to me, tori, gemlin hannah, ethan, annie, lev, sami probably,,, i think thats it idk thanks u guys i stole ur words (mari will always be #1 on my hit list. perish.)

 

 _beverly is a nice human and I respect her_ _  
_ 3:12 pm

indiana mike- ew a f*rry just tried to talk to me

will the wise- you talk to yourself?

indiana mike- you know what?

big dad ritch- get fuckn REKT indie omg

indiana mike- fuck you will

there's a bEe?- what a goddamn savage

flat stanley-  i cant believe indiana is dead now

will the wise- :)

big billiam- dont call my bf a furry

beverly hills chihuahua- bill you’re a furry too

big billiam- get fucked

ben the ignorant- :/

\--

_//huggles//_

5:44 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- ᵗʰᵉ ᵗᶦᶰᵍ ᵍᵒᵉˢ ˢᵏʳʳʳᵃ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵏᵃ ᵏᵃ ᵏᵃ ˢᵏᶦᵇᶦᵏᶦ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵃ ᵖᵘ ᵖᵘ ᵈʳʳʳʳ ᵇᵒᵒᵐ⋅ ˢᴷᴱᴬᴬᴬᴬ ᵈᵘ ᵈᵘ ᵏᵘ ᵏᵘ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ⋅ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ

\--

_lettuce_

5:45 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- ᵗʰᵉ ᵗᶦᶰᵍ ᵍᵒᵉˢ ˢᵏʳʳʳᵃ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵏᵃ ᵏᵃ ᵏᵃ ˢᵏᶦᵇᶦᵏᶦ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵃ ᵖᵘ ᵖᵘ ᵈʳʳʳʳ ᵇᵒᵒᵐ⋅ ˢᴷᴱᴬᴬᴬᴬ ᵈᵘ ᵈᵘ ᵏᵘ ᵏᵘ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ⋅ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ

\--

_lil dickie does not eat dog poop_

5:46 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- ᵗʰᵉ ᵗᶦᶰᵍ ᵍᵒᵉˢ ˢᵏʳʳʳᵃ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵏᵃ ᵏᵃ ᵏᵃ ˢᵏᶦᵇᶦᵏᶦ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵃ ᵖᵘ ᵖᵘ ᵈʳʳʳʳ ᵇᵒᵒᵐ⋅ ˢᴷᴱᴬᴬᴬᴬ ᵈᵘ ᵈᵘ ᵏᵘ ᵏᵘ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ⋅ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ

\--

_big billiams big birthday big bash_

5:47 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- ᵗʰᵉ ᵗᶦᶰᵍ ᵍᵒᵉˢ ˢᵏʳʳʳᵃ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵏᵃ ᵏᵃ ᵏᵃ ˢᵏᶦᵇᶦᵏᶦ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵃ ᵖᵘ ᵖᵘ ᵈʳʳʳʳ ᵇᵒᵒᵐ⋅ ˢᴷᴱᴬᴬᴬᴬ ᵈᵘ ᵈᵘ ᵏᵘ ᵏᵘ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ⋅ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ

\--

_peace and quiet_

5:48 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- ᵗʰᵉ ᵗᶦᶰᵍ ᵍᵒᵉˢ ˢᵏʳʳʳᵃ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵏᵃ ᵏᵃ ᵏᵃ ˢᵏᶦᵇᶦᵏᶦ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵃ ᵖᵘ ᵖᵘ ᵈʳʳʳʳ ᵇᵒᵒᵐ⋅ ˢᴷᴱᴬᴬᴬᴬ ᵈᵘ ᵈᵘ ᵏᵘ ᵏᵘ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ⋅ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ

\--

_beverly is a nice human and I respect her_

5:49 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- ᵗʰᵉ ᵗᶦᶰᵍ ᵍᵒᵉˢ ˢᵏʳʳʳᵃ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵏᵃ ᵏᵃ ᵏᵃ ˢᵏᶦᵇᶦᵏᶦ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵖᵃᵖ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵃ ᵖᵘ ᵖᵘ ᵈʳʳʳʳ ᵇᵒᵒᵐ⋅ ˢᴷᴱᴬᴬᴬᴬ ᵈᵘ ᵈᵘ ᵏᵘ ᵏᵘ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ⋅ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ ᵖᵒᵒᵐ

will the wise- hey bev what the fuck

big dad ritch- u aint even see all of it

eight nights at eddies- She sent this to every gc we have that she is in

will the wise- smh makin me regret the name of this chat

beverly hills chihuahua- here i’ll change it :)

**big dad ritch removed beverly hills chihuahua from the conversation**

big dad ritch- not again.

indiana mike- what was she gonna do

ben the ignorant- name the gc the entire bee movie script

ben the ignorant- and then id hav 2 dump her :/

will the wise- :/

flat stanley-  :/

there's a bEe?- :/

big billiam- why

eight nights at eddies- Love when my man takes initiative so I don’t have to put Bev back on my hit list D;

big billiam- WHART did i say abt that emoji i already hate lil dickie not u too :(

eight nights at eddies- >;^)

big dad ritch- ‘,:)

there's a bEe?- eyebrow lift

flat stanley-  nice

big dad ritch- thanks

ben the ignorant- i think we r safe now

ben the ignorant- im adding her back

**ben the ignorant added beverly hills chihuahua to the conversation**

**beverly hills chihuahua named the conversation** **_According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, bla…_ **

beverly hills chihuahua- hehehe

big billiam- BEN

flat stanley-  ben really is ignorant

will the wise- i hate this

there's a bEe?- see bev youre makin will uncomfortable smh

beverly hills chihuahua- sorry will :)

will the wise- you dont look sorry

indiana mike- i dont think shes sorry

big dad ritch- shes not sorry

big dad ritch- youve upset eddie

eight nights at eddies- My hit list is now just you

eight nights at eddies- >:(

beverly hills chihuahua- :)

beverly hills chihuahua- :/

 **beverly hills chihuahua named the conversation** **_beverly is a nice human and I respect her_ **

\--

11:23 am

ben the ignorant- HAPPY HANUKKAH STANKY I HAVE YOUR SWEATER

flat stanley-  YYYEASSAASSA

will the wise- ur jewish?

will the wise- i knew that lol

will the wise- kippah

flat stanley-  yes!

will the wise- i am also jewish

ben the ignorant- MIKE WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US I COULD HAVE MADE WILL A SWEATER TOO

will the wise- aw you dont have to make me a sweater

ben the ignorant- i am mkaking you A SWEATER

beverly hills chihuahua- dont get in the way of ben being pure

big dad ritch- why dont we get christms sweaters

ben the ignorant- bc u have 8 million options at the store

will the wise- get fuckn rekt

flat stanley-  ^^

flat stanley-  i love u ben

ben the ignorant- love u stanky :)

there's a bEe?- :’)

\--

2:46 pm

flat stanley-  MY FUCJIMG MATZOS ARE GONE

flat stanley-  WHFISKKDLF

flat stanley-  which one of you cum guzzlers ate my matzo

flat stanley-  it wasnt ben he is 2 nice

flat stanley-  was it YOU wiliam

will the wise- i ahve my own matzo

flat stanley-  michael…

indiana mike- me?

flat stanley-  DID YOU

indiana mike- NO

flat stanley-  good, wrong michael anyway.

there's a bEe?- i love you

flat stanley-  MICHAEL

there's a bEe?- I LOVE YOU

flat stanley-  M I C H A E L

there's a bEe?- S T A N K Y

big billiam- B I L L

big billiam- im not funny

indiana mike- i think youre funny

big billiam- hehehe

big dad ritch- shut up

flat stanley-  michael….

there's a bEe?- :(

\--

_private message - big dad ritch and eight nights at eddies_

3:11 am

big dad ritch- prom

\--

6:28 am

eight nights at eddies- did u wake up in the middle of the night to ask me to prom

eight nights at eddies- i love you

big dad ritch- omg

\--

_beverly is a nice human and I respect her_

12:11 pm

flat stanley- is that a semi automatic rifle in your pocket or are u just happy to see me (;

there's a bEe?- It's a rifle

will the wise- what

there's a bEe?- no i shot my dad

eight nights at eddies- fvjvdnjv

big dad ritch- itms true i was the dad

eight nights at eddies- is that a gun or are you happy to see me? no i shot my dad

there's a bEe?- G U N

eight nights at eddies- gun

there's a bEe?- gun spelled backwards is nug

big dad ritch- SHOT THROUGH THE DAD

big dad ritch- AND YOUR TOO LATE

will the wise- I'm a nug

will the wise- Get

flat stanley- there is a loaded gun inside every mcdonald’s chicken nugget

eight nights at eddies- nug

will the wise- Facts

there's a bEe?- my favorite thing is to go to mcdonalds and eat chicken nuggets by myself

big dad ritch- my favorite thing is tapeworms

will the wise- My favorite thing is guns

ben the ignorant- waking up beside u im a loaded gun

there's a bEe?- do you watch war movies and nut everytime theres a fight

flat stanley- i prefer the term almond but yes

eight nights at eddies- cursed

there's a bEe?- i fuck ng hate

eight nights at eddies- gun worms

flat stanley- worm guns

flat stanley- just almonded in my pants

will the wise- Mood

flat stanley- is it?

flat stanley- is it a mood, will?

eight nights at eddies- art imitates life

flat stanley- do you really feel anything except the cold metal of your pistol ?

there's a bEe?- i just fucking hnnnnnnnngggggg pistachiod

flat stanley- life imitates art baby

flat stanley- get it tofucking gether

will the wise- I also feel

eight nights at eddies- am i an art or am i an life

will the wise- No

there's a bEe?- you are trash

will the wise- You're a baby

eight nights at eddies- ouch

there's a bEe?- baby trash

will the wise- Trash baby

eight nights at eddies- i better just go crawl in a trash can then :/

there's a bEe?- its like baby spice from spice girls but

there's a bEe?- trash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @discord love yall happy 3 weeks <33 xoxo ',:)


	21. esp-sp-specially

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a bEe?- 13 people in 1 gc
> 
> flat stanley- thats hell
> 
> beverly hills chihuahua- lets do it
> 
> eight nights at eddies- 1 3 p e o p l e

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for once the summary is an actual summary of the chapter !!!
> 
> credit!! (long a$$ list) goes to: levy, vic, gremlin hannah, eddie, tori, sami, paige, rachael, syd, hanna, ethan, anne, mari  
> i think i still missed someone too but idk who .. :/ sometimes i copy stuff i wanna steal but dont say who said it sorry @discord
> 
> also @levy sorry not sorry esp-sp-specially made and makes me laugh harder than aythin g else rn im yelli ng still

_ beverly is a nice human and I respect her _

8:32 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- does anyone have any ranch

ben the ignorant- I do not

beverly hills chihuahua- i will accept bleu cheese also

beverly hills chihuahua- alrighr fuck you guys

beverly hills chihuahua- where are you when i need youethe most

will the wise- I'm lactose intolorant

beverly hills chihuahua- i will replace all of the blood in your veins with milk

will the wise- I'd literally die

will the wise- I'd cramp to death

beverly hills chihuahua- (: guess u shouldve thought of that before u Didnt Offer Me Ranch

flat stanley- bev don’t kill will

there's a bEe?- haha kill will

there's a bEe?- no dont do it

big dad ritch- Here is a ranch

big dad ritch- (picure of cowboy ranch)

beverly hills chihuahua- u know what pink ricky

eight nights at eddies- lil dickie’s a pink lady

big dad ritch- What you asked for a ranch

big dad ritch- You did not specify what ranch

beverly hills chihuahua- u wanna keep playing these ffucking mind games

beverly hills chihuahua- Fine

big dad ritch- Did you mean the ranch that goes in a salad

big dad ritch- As in

big dad ritch- The dressing

beverly hills chihuahua- just know that when youewake up in a cold sweat at 2:33 in the morning i will be at the foot of your bed with blood in my mouth and no one will hear you

\--

10:27 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- ok i got highh with alien club in a field ealrier

beverly hills chihuahua- we got so high we couldn’t find our way back to the road tht completely surrrounded us

beverly hills chihuahua- instaed of like. ttaking the shortest route we took literally th longest one we could and almost got lost in a field twentey feet from danas house

will the wise- wait dana is in the alien club

beverly hills chihuahua- yeysh

will the wise- aw i love dana shes in my ap computer science class

beverly hills chihuahua- shes thinsk ur cute

will the wise- hah hah ok

beverly hills chihuahua- i tell her.,,, i know willl.., i lov will…,,. No chance

there's a bEe?- dana wyd

flat stanley- :/

ben the ignorant- u gys r ugly and im going 2 bed

beverly hills chihuahua- I am,,,se through

\--

11:41 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- whered ben go

beverly hills chihuahua- i wanres to tekl him smthg

beverly hills chihuahua- hte thing was that i love him

beverly hills chihuahua- :(

big billiam- he loves u too

beverly hills chihuahua- im emotional

beverly hills chihuahua- im emo

beverly hills chihuahua- tional

beverly hills chihuahua- and tured

beverly hills chihuahua- i sho;fn sleep

big dad ritch- he went to bed hours ago

beverly hills chihuahua- I LOV HM

\--

3:45 pm

indiana mike- gfhdjsk

indiana mike- im at bills watching the grinch w him and georgie and bill goes

indiana mike- “did he say slowpoke or germaphobe?” about the grinch prank calling the who people

indiana mike- ITS SLOW POKE

flat stanley- bill u dumbass

indiana mike- “hurry up u germaphobe” use context clues

beverly hills chihuahua- “stop washing ur hands u slowpoke”

eight nights at eddies- I feel called out   
big dad ritch- hey indiana u didnt include bill’s stutter

big dad ritch- lemme shpw u an example

big dad ritch- *bill voice* “i l-love all my f-friends, esp-sp-specially richie”

big billiam- ESP-SP-SPECIALLY

big billiam- yes i sound like that

ben the ignorant- esp sp specially

there's a bEe?- lil dickie u whole dumbass

will the wise- im… 

will the wise- esp sp specially

big dad ritch- ok you guys r BULLIE S

eight nights at eddies- you brought it upon yourself darling

beverly hills chihuahua- darling

ben the ignorant- ew

flat stanley- d a r l i n g

flat stanley- darling dickie

there's a bEe?- wait other mike did u say u r with georgie

indiana mike- yea

there's a bEe?- tell him i love him

indiana mike- i cant bc he kinda hates me still

indiana mike- still thinks im lil dickie

big dad ritch- im omw to eds i’ll pop by bills to prove myself

big billiam- oh dear god

eight nights at eddies- ugh hurry up

indiana mike- georgie is going 2 lose hs shit

\--

4:03 pm

big dad ritch- geogir creid i hte everthhgn

big billiam- lil dickie walked in and georgie screamed and starte crying

indiana mike- it was kinda so funny minus the crying

beverly hills chihuahua- does he still hate u

indiana mike- im not sure

big billiam- he went to his room to “think”

big dad ritch- *georgie voice* “i neEd to go think… i need to htihnk about this”

eight nights at eddies- awwwwwwwww

ben the ignorant- poor georgie

there's a bEe?- tell him i l o v e him

ben the ignorant- ^^^

\--

4:29 pm

big billiam- georgie is done thinking

big billiam- he says he loves lil dickie but still thinks mike lies 2 him so he doesnt like him yet

indiana mike- 90 gallons of salt has entered my bloodstream 

ben the ignorant- poooor mike

there's a bEe?- pppooooooooooooooooorrrrrrr mike

ben the ignorant- a whole nightmare

indiana mike- :(

\--

5:32  pm

big billiam- we are watching matilda now and georgie htaes mike less

indiana mike- im so happy

indiana mike- he hates the headmaster more than he hates me

big dad ritch- hahah headmaster

big dad ritch- master of giving head

eight nights at eddies- beep

big dad ritch- m a s t e r o f g i v i n g h e a d

big billiam- lil dickie dont do this

indiana mike- dont ruin matilda

eight nights at eddies- i love matilda

will the wise- matilda makes me think of el all the time :(

indiana mike- me too :(

will the wise- at least we r seeing them soon right?? Just a few more weeks and they r Here >:)

ben the ignorant- el?

indiana mike- our friend 

will the wise- Technically her name is eleven or jane but ony hopper calls her jane

indiana mike- yeah we call her el

beverly hills chihuahua- wym they r coming 

flat stanley- ^^

will the wise- mike wtf

indiana mike- hehe i 4got to tell u guys

indiana mike- all our friends from hawkins are coming for nye

will the wise- and mike told them we’d all celebrate 2gether

ben the ignorant- that’s fine!

beverly hills chihuahua- who all is coming

there's a bEe?- ye

will the wise- el and max and dustin and lucas

beverly hills chihuahua- smh only 1 gal

indiana mike- max is a ladie

indiana mike- she a bich tho

will the wise- im telling her u said that

indiana mike- cool im going 2 die

beverly hills chihuahua- ok 2 gals nice

flat stanley- 13 people? 

flat stanley- a lot

will the wise- sorry 

flat stanley- i dont mind 1 bit

there's a bEe?- yeah its usually just us 7 but more people will be fun

eight nights at eddies- are they nice

big dad ritch- yeah rt

indiana mike- no mEDicine, all our friends are assholes

indiana mike- smh

will the wise- youd like them

big dad ritch- we should all be in a group chat

ben the ignorant- do u want us to die lil dickie

there's a bEe?- 13 people in 1 gc

flat stanley- thats hell

beverly hills chihuahua- lets do it

eight nights at eddies- 1 3 p e o p l e

beverly hills chihuahua- ive been in a gc w/ more than 13 people!

beverly hills chihuahua- you leave fr 4 mintes and come back tp 800 messages

beverly hills chihuahua- but lets do it anyway

indiana mike- ill make it >:)

\--

5:58 pm

_ the parti _

indiana mike- hey im adding u all to a gc w/ all the derry people

will the wise- its going to be bad

elven- wait what

madmax- mike no

dust a nut- MIKE

i am your father- M I K E

indiana mike- hehe

\--

6:00 pm

_ group chat - (everyone) _

**indiana mike named the chat** **_death and destruction_ **

indiana mike- hewo

madmax- i hate u mike

there's a bEe?- rt

elven- who is bee

there's a bEe?- mike

elven- other mike?

there's a bEe?- yeah

dust a nut- ah, vine

dust a nut- have u heard that vine might come back

i am your father- they callin it vine 2

dust a nut- vine is back babie

beverly hills chihuahua- i love vine

ben the ignorant- im afriad

madmax- ben the ignorant lol

flat stanley- he is ignorant he doesnt watch vine

big dad ritch- who is i am your father

i am your father- lucas

i am your father- luke, george lucas

will the wise- i love star wars

flat stanley- me tooo

there's a bEe?- stanky and i are the biggest fans we’ve seen the last jedi 2 time already

i am your father- hey if u spoil 1 second of the movie i will naruto run to derry and hit u

flat stanley- got it

elven- stanky?

flat stanley- ugh

big billiam- everyone has names

beverly hills chihuahua- bill is wilhelm

beverly hills chihuahua- richie is lil dickie

madmax- why

beverly hills chihuahua- stan is stanky

madmax- good

indiana mike- eddie is mEDicine

eight nights at eddies- its bullying

indiana mike- no its not dont lie medicine

elven- friends dont lie medicine

indiana mike- ha

big dad ritch- it is bullying i am not lil idckie

beverly hills chihuahua- no ur not ur lil ******dickie

i am your father- do we really wanna come for nye

madmax- idk man

will the wise- yes

indiana mike- you cant back out now

indiana mike- youre bringing steve right

dust a nut- you think i would go all the way to maine without my mother

dust a nut- ofc he is coming

eight nights at eddies- who is steve

dust a nut- my mom

eight nights at eddies- somehow i doubt that

elven- steve is my mom too

madmax- steve is all our mom

i am your father- what a guy

indiana mike- i miss steve

will the wise- me too

big dad ritch- is he hot

eight nights at eddies- lil dickie..

big dad ritch- ok but a guy who is a mom is the dream

i am your father- he is 21

big dad ritch- mm i love older men

eight nights at eddies-  l i l  d i c k i e

indiana mike- ew hes dating my sister

big billiam- i thought ur sister was dating wills brother

will the wise- ew hes datign my brother

indiana mike- you thought right bill

ben the ignorant- aw

ben the ignorant- ot3

beverly hills chihuahua- ben u fake u dont even know them

ben the ignorant- but i support them

flat stanley- rt thats cute

there's a bEe?- aw mike n will lowkey sibs

will the wise- yes its cute

i am your father- we are all happy for them

indiana mike- rt

eight nights at eddies- so whats the hap for nye

eight nights at eddies- bc usually we do a bonfire at the quarry

elven- the quarry?

elven- we dont go to the quarry here

eight nights at eddies- well here we love it lots and swim there in the summer

big dad ritch- the fist cliff jump of the summer is tradition

eight nights at eddies- lil dickie is afraid of it so bev goes first usually

elven- so your quarry has a smaller cliff

ben the ignorant-  yeah its short enough to jump from safely

beverly hills chihuahua- its cold as hell in the winter tho and it snows sometimes so we gotta clear a fire spot away

flat stanley- we can see all the fireworks people put off from there

there's a bEe?- plus its pretty close to my farm so we can walk there and have food n shit

dust a nut- that sounds fun

madmax- do we need to bring any food or whatever

big dad ritch- if u dont bring a sncak ur nojt allowed

big billiam- thats a lie but with 13 of us ughghdk

big billiam- we need Nourishment

flat stanley- mike and i cook up a storm every year :P

will the wise- im a p good cook too jonathans taught me a lot

there's a bEe?- then we should cook together the 3 of us !!

flat stanley- ^^!!

\--

_ group chat - (bill + bev + ben + richie + eddie + mike w) _

6:15 pm

**big billiam named the chat** **_bitch what the whole fuck_ **

big billiam- bitch what the whole fuck

indiana mike- whta the fkc

big dad ritch- why are they being so OBVIOUS

ben the ignorant- wait what

beverly hills chihuahua- ben what

ben the ignorant- why did wilhelm make this

eight nights at eddies- uh ben wym

eight nights at eddies- do u not see it?

ben the ignorant- ??

beverly hills chihuahua- ben the ignorant

indiana mike- stan and mike out here flirting 10 hard w will

eight nights at eddies- will out there flirting back !!

ben the ignorant- hly shit

ben the ignorant- it ddnt even think

ben the ignorant- shit just flew right over my head

big dad ritch- they invited him to c o o k

beverly hills chihuahua- cooking dates r their thing!!!! And they r inviting WILL

eight nights at eddies- theyre both gone for him that’s the only explanation

big dad ritch- honestly im SHook

ben the ignorant- me too o hm y god

big billiam- mike do hawkins ppl know about this

indiana mike- dustin is texting me about why stan and mike are trying 2 get with will so consistently

indiana mike- i told him that stan and mike are dating and hes probab;y dead now

eight nights at eddies- shaken. To my very core.

ben the ignorant- thinking back is like wtf didnt they invite him to tuesday cooking night last week

beverly hills chihuahua- YES and he couldve gone if he didn have work

beverly hills chihuahua- i was so tempted to take his shift...

big billiam- ok we gotta go back we dont want them getting Suspicious

\--

_ death and destruction _

6:19 pm

will the wise- cool so stan mike and i will make food for us

i am your father- cool cool ok you guys keep deciding i gotta brb

will the wise- alright

madmax- ok idw be ugly but what about.

madmax- Stuff.

madmax- stuff stuff

big dad ritch- bev and i got stuff stuff

elven- are you being gross and illegal

beverly hills chihuahua- yes :(

elven- sigh.

dust a nut- el thinks Stuff is stupid

eight nights at eddies- what sort of stuff

big dad ritch- Stuff, meds

eight nights at eddies- obvously. But what type of stuff stuff

beverly hills chihuahua- lil dickie and i have the weed and lil dickie has alcohol access if any of u guys want it

big dad ritch- getting drunk is not my fave

there's a bEe?- lil dickie and medicine once got drunk and almsot jumped off the cliff in the middle of the night and they Would Have Died

big dad ritch- ok but we were just stargazing

eight nights at eddies- thats why he doesnt like it

eight nights at eddies- because we almost Died

beverly hills chihuahua- so to max, there will be Stuff

there's a bEe?- stanky only does brownies + medicine has asthma so we’ll have ediblez

madmax- mm

dust a nut- what if steve wants to come to the bonfire

there's a bEe?- no offense to steve but not allowed

elven- but we love steve

ben the ignorant- hes a whole adult tho

ben the ignorant- unless steve is gonna be super chill about us getting lit on a cliff near a big fire,, no thnkx

dust a nut- yeah he’d probably shit himself

madmax- he’ll be having too much fun with nancy and jonathan right

indiana mike- fuck offffff max

will the wise- ewewew

i am your father- hey im back

i am your father- What did i miss?

indiana mike- We all died there's nothing left

beverly hills chihuahua- i gave birth on a livestream while u were gone

beverly hills chihuahua- ur mom’s the father

i am your father- Looking at this mess, im going to go away again.

big dad ritch- My mums a furry

big billiam- What the fuck

eight nights at eddies- U r a furry

big dad ritch- my fursona is a tapeworm

eight nights at eddies- We know hon

elven- Hewwo?

big billiam- Hewwo

madmax- el NO

dust a nut- What the fuck happened here

indiana mike- Anarchy

indiana mike- Language dustin

big billiam- Ew

ben the ignorant- shut the ffuck up inidana let justin swear

big billiam- furby >:(

beverly hills chihuahua- Oh shit

there's a bEe?- none of this was happening

there's a bEe?- what the fuck

indiana mike- sshhhshs mike its fine

will the wise- what hsppened 

i am your father- this is what hjappens when u put 13 people in 1 group chat

will the wise- only use this 4 emergencies

dust a nut- nice naming, mike. It’s… correct. 

indiana mike- ok we can talk about nye later so many peiple is stressful and im missing matilda

big billiam- oh fuck i totally tuned that out

elven- matilda!

elven- i’m matilda

madmax- i’ll watch matilda with you El! would hopper be ok with me coming over rn

elven- he’s always ok with you he says

indiana mike- pure :(

madmax- *dabs 3 times in celebration*

indiana mike- i take it back. not pure.

\--

_ beverly is a nice human and I respect her _

8:34 pm

indiana mike- we r watching harry potter now

will the wise- which one

indiana mike- number 8

beverly hills chihuahua- thats the littest

beverly hills chihuahua- imo

big billiam- georgie likes it

big billiam- hes slowly warming up to mike the more movies we watch

big dad ritch- youve watched an off combination of movies

eight nights at eddies- the grinh, matilda, harry potter

eight nights at eddies- lovely

ben the ignorant- i love deathly hallows pt 2 minus the EPILOGUE

indiana mike- rt

will the wise- fucckiinnn albus serverus

will the wise- idk him

will the wise- Remus Minerva you’re named after the best teachers in hog warts

ben the ignorant- Hedwig Neville Potter, you are named after some boss ass characters

there's a bEe?- His son is named Arthur Rubeus wyd

there's a bEe?- Albus Severus whom

there's a bEe?- Not in my good Weasley household

flat stanley- now i wanna watch all the movies

eight nights at eddies- after exams we should watch them all

big dad ritch- bet

big billiam- yes

will the wise- yee t

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok wheellbroguh fic ch 5 is happening when it wants to happen but after exams so oops sorry lolsies
> 
> so much Happened in this chapter i cant believe..,,.,. wow !.!!!!!


	22. monster vore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> madmax- ok now onto mike’s constipation
> 
> madmax- lets hear more about that.
> 
> indiana mike- i hate u.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been 287980 year since i update this.. my bad
> 
> creds to: ME. ALL ME. i didnt rob anyone for this bc i wrote most of it while half dead during exam week. the Losing It is real and irl canon with my life.
> 
> uh in case it upsets u, most of this chapter is ppl yearning for death.

_ beverly is a nice human and I respect her _

9:32 pm

big dad ritch- i… am not.. Alive

beverly hills chihuahua- i dont think ive blinked jn over an hour

big billiam- i just blinked for 7 minute

indiana mike- thats called faling asleeo

indiana mike- something i wish i could do

ben the ignorant- how u holdin up mike

ben the ignorant- they work u this hard in indiana

indiana mike- not… this hard

indiana mike- i wanna know why im bing forced 2 take all the exams even tho i’ve been at this school for just a month

beverly hills chihuahua- oh yeah that is dumb

eight nights at eddies- it’s because they want us dead

flat stanley- who is they

eight nights at eddies- They.

there's a bEe?- ominous

there's a bEe?- i remmber my first exams too mike i died

flat stanley- mike ababy why r u talking to urself

indiana mike- im mike too

flat stanley- i just started crying

flat stanley- this os tpo mich infor,ation

eight nights at eddies- I jusrtw ant htis over

beverly hills chihuahua- i made..,. A study guid e for lang,. Until s e v e n int he morning

beverly hills chihuahua- its not eben gooda nd im crying

big dad ritch- im gong to Fail C***

big dad ritch- dont’ say the C word ot i am going to officialy lose it

indiana mike- dogn t reminf me ic ant tdo this

will the wise- i just awoke from a smallcoma and learnd i slatpt all day in the librry on acidnet

will the wise- i was supposed to go to mike hoise

indiana mike- i full ass 4got fickl

will the wise- irs fine i live in theh library now 

flat stanley- you… slept in the library

will the wise- IM dying

there's a bEe?- go home will u will die

will the wise- I Dont Have tTime

big billiam- apparntly im crying and o sidnt even know it

eight nights at eddies- i just wanna PUCMJH somehting

big dad ritch- punch me

eight nights at eddies- JHEDFSNZCX,AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

eight nights at eddies- if there is 1 good thing

ben the ignorant- there is not

eight nights at eddies- it is that bernard is Leaing and after her exam i will never see her agaib

ben the ignorant- oh there is 1 goof thing

flat stanley- god bless amrica

flat stanley- a christmas mirscle

there's a bEe?- stanky ur jewish

flat stanley- CHRISTAMAS CMKRACLE

flat stanley- i need to res t

there's a bEe?- let us.,, nap

beverly hills chihuahua- my eyes ar closed adn i cant poen thim heko

ben the ignorant- OPEN YUR EYES

ben the ignorant- i have to go hsave my gv

will the wise- i have to. Go hoem.

eight nights at eddies- good luck ery1 i hope we live.

\--

11:39 am

big dad ritch- im .2 seconds from Ending It All

eight nights at eddies- rt

\--

1:32 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- my cat took a smelly dump and i cried for three hours

\--

6:59 pm

indiana mike- i just flell down the tsairs and realized a;ll ive eaten for 2 days is coffee

indiana mike- i ned to lay down

big billiam- dont die babiy

\--

9:56 pm

ben the ignorant- GOOD LUCK TOMORRO U GUYS I BELIEVE IN ALL OF US EXAM DAY 1 GOT NOTHIN ON US

\--

2:11 pm

ben the ignorant- i just failed that exam

beverly hills chihuahua- and thats the mood

\--

6:32 am

ben the ignorant- day 2… pls be kind

\--

2:28 pm

there's a bEe?- i got a 93 in anatomie im weepin

there's a bEe?- i am..,, blessed

flat stanley- porpid of u darlign

there's a bEe?- porpid

flat stanley- proud

\--

6:51 am

ben the ignorant- day 3,,. Last day folkz,....

ben the ignorant- im alreadsy crying

\--

2:01 pm

eight nights at eddies- ITS OVER

eight nights at eddies- IM RETURNIGN TO MY BODY

big dad ritch- this was the most stresed out i ever was in ym whole life shithedfjdcxk

indiana mike- why does whitehaven have 2 go so hard ith exmas i hate everyething

beverly hills chihuahua- oh shit its chrsotmas soon

beverly hills chihuahua- thats fakr and illegal

big dad ritch- ok medicine and iar e about to go take a big coma so see us oon

will the wise- i was in a real coma once

will the wise- there was a mosneter in me 

indiana mike- will why

will the wise- u wwre there omgg

will the wise- it was eatin me

will the wise- FUCXK MIKE

will the wise- TH EMIFND FLAYER VORDDD ME

indiana mike- it was in u so technicaly u vored it

will the wise- im cgoing to cry el is gong 2 kill me

indiana mike- she omnly kills bad guys

there's a bEe?- i am… concerned

flat stanley- voring a monster?

will the wise- the governmnet is after us noe

indiana mike- no rmember nancy adn jon shut own the government

will the wise- o u rite

will the wise- its bedc itme now

\--

_ private message - indiana mike and will the wise _

1:44 pm

will the wise- fuck

indiana mike- u can say that again

will the wise- Fuck.

will the wise- why did i SAY THAT

indiana mike- we were all tired

indiana mike- im sure they just skimmed it and nobody actually read it

will the wise- BUT WHAT IF THEY DID

will the wise- I KNOW STAN AND MIKE READ IT

indiana mike- well fuck

\--

_ the parti _

1:48 pm

indiana mike- so we have a problem

dust a nut- what now

will the wise- in y sleep deprived stupor, i told the derry friends about the mind flayer kind of

elven- kind of?

will the wise- (screenshot of him self exposing)

will the wise- oops

elven- mike >:(

indiana mike- i was not sane either i consumed nthing but coffee for nearly a week

madmax- well shit

madmax- what are you gonna do?

indiana mike- idk i can ask my mom for somehting bc tmi but im a tad constipated

madmax- not you oh my god

madmax- but more on that later

madmax- WILL what are you gonna do

i am your father- you dumbasses

will the wise- i dont k n o w

will the wise- i guess i’ll have to tell them?

dust a nut- not necessarily… they dont have to get details?

elven- we dont know what happened to them

elven- do we have to tell them about us?

i am your father- good point el… some stuff happened with them that they keep hinting at and we havent pried so it’d be rude of them to pry

indiana mike- i hope so

will the wise- ughguhgjfdx

madmax- ok now onto mike’s constipation

madmax- lets hear more about that.

indiana mike- i hate u.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been 2 weeks sicme i updated wheelbrough fic and uh i have a whole 69 (hehe) words written so dont expect that any time soon lmao im dead :)
> 
> some plotty? kinda? this ch short as hell but u can take it :)
> 
> merry chistmas 2 all who celebrate !!


	23. :-)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> will the wise- get off ur phone, mike
> 
> indiana mike- shut up will il be on my phone if i wa
> 
> will the wise- nancy killed him :/
> 
> big billiam- oh no :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been a hot minute sorry guys lol but this is all xmas day n the day after i didnt wanna jump right into new years but we'll get there... they will all meet......
> 
> so we get some stikers action and some wheelbrough action and also if anyone reading likes tony stark im sorry i bullied him a little :-)
> 
> 1 tiny creds to sami, vic, and syd but i only stole 1 bit

_beverly is a nice human and I respect her_

1:12 pm

big dad ritch- christmas

big billiam- thank

big dad ritch- welc

indiana mike- wow i stan friendship

big dad ritch- yete

eight nights at eddies- lil dickie I s2g if you spell it like that One More Time im suing you.

ben the ignorant- yete

eight nights at eddies- ben… not you too.. On CHRISTMAS

beverly hills chihuahua- you guys wanna come over for dinner tonght

flat stanley- YES I DO but only if your aunt makes those good cookies… you know the ones…

beverly hills chihuahua- they are Made

flat stanley- well then i am There

will the wise- my mom wants us to have family dinner tonight sory :/

there's a bEe?- :(

flat stanley- :(

will the wise- she won’t want family dinner Tomorrow night…

there's a bEe?- :D

there's a bEe?- we’ll have plenty of leftovers

flat stanley- we can make more churros because you couldn’t come last time

will the wise- sounds fun !!!

indiana mike- are the rest of us invited

there's a bEe?- no

big billiam- its ok mike u can come to My house

indiana mike- can’t wait to see my bff georgie

eight nights at eddies- does he like you now

big billiam- he decided his christmas gift to mike is liking him

ben the ignorant- interesting gift

indiana mike- it’s just bc i went over for a minute yesterday to exchange gifts with wilhelm and i had something for georgie and he felt bad

big billiam- he felt like he needed to give mike something back

big dad ritch- thats actually cute as hell

there's a bEe?- omg

there's a bEe?- mike,.,.,. Georgies gift to u was Love

will the wise- that is… too pure

ben the ignorant- god i love georgie

beverly hills chihuahua- bring him tonight!!!

big billiam- you just assume i’m coming

beverly hills chihuahua- well we’ve been doing this for like 4 years now so Yes i do

big billiam- u right i’ll be there

big dad ritch- me 2 i gotta show off my new swag

eight nights at eddies- every day we stray further from god’s light

ben the ignorant- not good christmas conversation

will the wise- dont u guys have families to talk to

big dad ritch- christmas is over my dude

there's a bEe?- yeah same for me, my grandpa doesn’t like making a big deal out of it so we finish pretty early

eight nights at eddies- all my extended family is out of town and my mom thinks that me being in a car for too long will hurt my lungs or something so it’s just us and not long

flat stanley- im jewish

ben the ignorant- my house is full of screaming children lol my mom told me i could stay away

beverly hills chihuahua- my aunt and i are cooking <33

big billiam- i have to be the sulking teen until georgie grows up. Plus, my grandparents already left so we’ve got nothing

indiana mike- well I’M texting under the table and nancy is sure to make fun of me soon

will the wise- get off ur phone, mike

indiana mike- shut up will il be on my phone if i wa

will the wise- nancy killed him :/

big billiam- oh no :/

beverly hills chihuahua- so everyone minus will is coming

will the wise- mike can probably go too his mom is trying to be Chill Mom who lets him do things to make the move easier

big billiam- oh karen

big billiam- lov her

beverly hills chihuahua- gucci

beverly hills chihuahua- 9pm SHARP or ur ded

ben the ignorant- yes dear

will the wise- well jeez if its at 9 i can come thats late af

flat stanley- awww

there's a bEe?- ur still coming over tomorrow too tho right

will the wise- duh

will the wise- i wouldnt ditch you 2

flat stanley- :D

\--

_bitch what the whole fuck_

2:21 pm

indiana mike- im going to lose my shit

ben the ignorant- maybe theyll get their shit together soon

beverly hills chihuahua- I Thought that when stanky and mike 1st got together i was Done dealing with stupid pining in the friend group

beverly hills chihuahua- I don’t want another lil dickie and medicine

eight nights at eddies- shut the fuck up bev you were just as bad

beverly hills chihuahua- lil dickie was worse than you

eight nights at eddies- aw

big dad ritch- fuck Off

big billiam- what abput me tho i was single

beverly hills chihuahua- heh

beverly hills chihuahua- well i at least thought youd be single until like college or a new kid came

beverly hills chihuahua- i was right??

indiana mike- idk how he Is single tho i wouldve snatched wilhelm up he second i moved here even if i didnt know him beforehand

big billiam- dont make me cry on christmas, mike

indiana mike- <3

big billiam- <3

\--

_lettuce_

2:30 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- wilhelm i am WEEPING

big dad ritch- me too that was so cute

big billiam- hdffbkgw guys sbckd

big billiam- im just sidhb im so happy with him

big dad ritch- So Pure

beverly hills chihuahua- im unbelievably happy

big dad ritch- you Deserve it

beverly hills chihuahua- i only wish he moved here sooner <3

big billiam- whrbfkw

big billiam- would it be kinda dumb bc ive known him like 2 months but i kind offff….

big billiam- herk

big dad ritch- WILHELM stop smashing you dumb bi

beverly hills chihuahua- wilhem it’s not dumb!!!!

big billiam- i kind of love him and im so HAPPy

big dad ritch- i stan tru love

big billiam- <3

beverly hills chihuahua- you gonna tell him?

big billiam- might wait until new years… make the 1st thing i tell him in 2018??

big dad ritch- UES

beverly hills chihuahua- awwwww

\--

_beverly is a nice human and I respect her_

8:27 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- if yall arent here at NINE PM SHARP im bloccing all 8 of u

beverly hills chihuahua- why am i only friends with guys

big billiam- beverly u know me

beverly hills chihuahua- wilhelm is allowed 2 be late but only bc i think being on time to something would kill him

indiana mike- that makes me late too oh no

beverly hills chihuahua- ugh i guess michael is allowed to be late as well

will the wise- so who wants to come pick me up my mother hates me driving at night

there's a bEe?- i will

flat stanley- me 2 but in the same car as mike

will the wise- yeet

will the wise- thank u guys :)

\--

_bitch what the whole fuck_

8:33 pm

big dad ritch- i cant do this anymore u guys im going in

eight nights at eddies- lil dickie no u need to leave soon to get me we can’t be late

eight nights at eddies- I’ll go in

big dad ritch- thanks baby

beverly hills chihuahua- omg be safe

indiana mike- who are u gonna talk to

eight nights at eddies- i’ll do both stanky and mike

indiana mike- i can do will while i wait for bill

ben the ignorant- doing will is stanky and mikes job haah

big dad ritch- BEN im so proud of u!! 

big billiam- not quite yet i hope. stanky and mike arent subtle theyd be much more obvious about being with will

indiana mike- will would tell me at least and he hasn’t said anything beyond thinkig theyre fake flirting…

beverly hills chihuahua- inch resting…

indiana mike- anyway should i talk to will

big dad ritch- i'd say wait until we Know if stanky and other mike actually like will b4 talking 2 him u know...

indiana mike- u rite idw get his hopes up if he does like them goode pointe

\--

_group chat (eddie + stan + mike h)_

8:39 pm

eight nights at eddies- hi guys :-)

flat stanley- …..

there's a bEe?- why was this made

eight nights at eddies- so :-)

eight nights at eddies- i’ve noticed :-)

eight nights at eddies- will?? :-)

flat stanley- what about him

eight nights at eddies- :-)

there's a bEe?- i dont like the noses stop

eight nights at eddies- spill :-)

there's a bEe?-im not sure what you mean, medicine.

eight nights at eddies- you know Damn Well what i mean :-)

there's a bEe?- do i?

flat stanley- do we?

eight nights at eddies- :-)

eight nights at eddies- u excited for your date with will tomorrow ???? :-)

flat stanley- is the smiley some sort of automated signature on your phone

flat stanley- i didnt even know you could still do that

eight nights at eddies- answer the mf question, stanky :-)

there's a bEe?- so youve noticed

eight nights at eddies- yes i have noticed :-)

eight nights at eddies- to be frank, we have all noticed :-)

flat stanley- dang i thought we were being kinda subtle

eight nights at eddies- nope :-)

there's a bEe?- im so freaked out by the smileys

eight nights at eddies- too bad :-)

there's a bEe?- hhh

there's a bEe?- fine

flat stanley- mike ekhf

there's a bEe?- we gotta tell them at some point right

eight nights at eddies- :-)

there's a bEe?- so after that movie night we had with him… i was all

there's a bEe?- damn this kid is cute

there's a bEe?- and i felt SO BAD because i love stanky right? I didnt wanna like will

flat stanley- but i was seeing will and thinking hes cute as hell too

flat stanley- but i love mike so it felt weird

there's a bEe?- but as i am a mature being i spoke to stanky later that night and we had a little honesty hour

flat stanley- we decided that we both like will but we still love each other

eight nights at eddies- :-)

flat stanley- and then after That we figured we could have some fun with it

there's a bEe?- by we he means he thought we could have ‘fun’ and i was dragged along

flat stanley- i mean you didnt have to play along with me

there's a bEe?- of course i did i love you

there's a bEe?- plus i didnt wanna jump in to confession time like the day after meeting the guy

flat stanley- i love you <3333

flat stanley- and yeah so basically we r on top of this

eight nights at eddies- cute :-)

eight nights at eddies- exept my sources say that will thinks you two are fake flirting with him as a joke :-)

flat stanley- … who are your sources

eight nights at eddies- My Sources :-)

there's a bEe?- thats not very reassurng.

there's a bEe?- did your sources say anything about him liking us?

eight nights at eddies- no, sorry, just that you two had to be joking :-)

eight nights at eddies- so Get On It so he doesnt feel bad :-)

there's a bEe?- ok i gtg and leave so we can be on time

eight nights at eddies- :-)

flat stanley- are u done, medicine

eight nights at eddies- no, stanky. :-)

eight nights at eddies- real talk though i’m happy you guys are both on board with this and are still happy together

flat stanley- of course we are

flat stanley- i really do love mike

flat stanley- and i really think we could be so great with will

eight nights at eddies- my sources didnt say anything about him liking you but my gut says he does

eight nights at eddies- he’s really on board with the flirting

flat stanley- here’s to hoping

flat stanley- ok mike’s here i gotta go talk to him irl see u soon

eight nights at eddies- good luck ;-)

\--

_bitch what the whole fuck_

8:51 pm

eight nights at eddies- sooo

beverly hills chihuahua- TEA????

eight nights at eddies- got it  :-)

ben the ignorant- hfbvk send screen shots

eight nights at eddies- there are too many i’ll just let u guys read through the texts later

indiana mike- im so excited

big billiam- give SOME details

indiana mike- WILHELM start driving

big billiam- sorry srry im leaving soon

indiana mike- do send details tho

beverly hills chihuahua- or at least general information

ben the ignorant- do they like him??

ben the ignorant- whats the scoop!!!

beverly hills chihuahua- i must know

indiana mike- medicine

beverly hills chihuahua- medicine

ben the ignorant- medicine

beverly hills chihuahua- answer

indiana mike- are they actually joking???

indiana mike- i thought they rly liked him??

beverly hills chihuahua- medicine

ben the ignorant- medicine

beverly hills chihuahua- EDDIE

eight nights at eddies- CHILL i was reading the txts to lil dickie smh

eight nights at eddies- we’re @ bev’s ill show u now

indiana mike- BUT IM STILL WAITING FOR WILHELM

eight nights at eddies- they like him

indiana mike- that is all i needed to hear

indiana mike- bless

\--

_beverly is a nice human and I respect her_

12:21 am

beverly hills chihuahua- thank u all for coming i love my good ass friends

flat stanley- TAHNKA YOU FOR THE COOKIES

beverly hills chihuahua- <3

ben the ignorant- merry christmas everyone :)

ben the ignorant- oh shit christmas is over

flat stanley- that was a very nice monday dinner

will the wise- ^^

there's a bEe?- thanks for having us bev <3

beverly hills chihuahua- thanks for being the entertainment mike <3

there's a bEe?- wait what

eight nights at eddies- :-)

flat stanley- MEDICINE

big dad ritch- :-)

will the wise- i Do Not Like how ominous that face is

there's a bEe?- THANK YOU

big billiam- i personally love it

indiana mike- me too :-)

will the wise- well you guys are weird

flat stanley- will, me u and mike are the only Normal ones

will the wise- looks like it :/

will the wise- we make a good group then

there's a bEe?- we do :)

beverly hills chihuahua- hhahah it looks stupid without a nose now

ben the ignorant- :-)

\--

_death and destruction_

2:35 pm

big dad ritch- My bones r creaky, does that mean my skeleton is escaping?

madmax- freedom

ben the ignorant- ???

ben the ignorant- No lil dickie

big dad ritch- Im ignoring bens answer because freedom is much better

madmax- free me skin suit

madmax- i request freedom

big dad ritch- F r e e t h e b o n e s

madmax- F R E E  T H E  B O N E S

madmax- free them

dust a nut- f r e e the bone z

madmax- zzzzzzz

big billiam- Hey uh  weewooweewoo i just remembered mike told us dustin is.,,., team IRON??

dust a nut- hhh h h h

i am your father- Do Not Remind Us

dust a nut- i just :( love tony stark

eight nights at eddies- HE SAID THE WHOLE NAME

flat stanley- YOU MUST C E N S O R

dust a nut- I WONT

dust a nut- I LOVE HIM

beverly hills chihuahua- as much as i want to Die… i will let it Slide so there is no Animosity at nye

there's a bEe?- im gonna have to see a team ir*n first thing in the year of twentygayteen… smh

will the wise- it’ll be fine mike u can jist look at me n not him

flat stanley- yeah will and i will keep u Safe

dust a nut- i feel hate in this chilis tonight

elven- ok i’m just going to say it

i am your father- el what

big dad ritch- i dont Care that you broke your elbow

elven- what? no

elven- i dont understand the big deal with captain america vs iron man. They were both wrong.

madmax- el…

madmax- how could you… to Me….

dust a nut- how could you say something so controversial yet so brave?

elven- it’s just stupid to get upset over a movie that came out 2 years ago. Move on.

big dad ritch- im..

eight nights at eddies- the Raw Power of her words…

elven- thats just what i think.

dust a nut- hell yeah el!!!

i am your father- she didnt call ir*on m*n right

dust a nut- well she called c*pt*in am*r*ica wrong

ben the ignorant- damn

beverly hills chihuahua- Damn.

elven- :-)

flat stanley- fuck

there's a bEe?- oh no

will the wise- el not you too :(

elven- :-)

i am your father- :-)

dust a nut- :-)

madmax- :-)

will the wise- off topic and moving on but i just realized ben and i are antithesis

will the wise- will the WISE and ben the IGNORANT

ben the ignorant- :-(

will the wise- i hate u

indiana mike- ;-)

flat stanley- ssssstoppppaekfjnv

eight nights at eddies- :-\

there’s a bEe?- chaotic evil

\--

_the parti_

5:32 pm

madmax- i love my wife dana scully

elven- :/// thats not me tho

madmax- god u rite cant have ppl thinking im married 2 the wrong gal

madmax- i love my *idol dana scully

elven- better :-)

\--

_fuck! the system? (will + mike w + lucas + dustin)_

5:37 pm

indiana mike- wtf are el and max a Thing

i am your father- i actually do not know

will the wise- i mean looks kind of like it mayhaps

dust a nut- now that i think about it..... hmmmm.....

dust a nut- verry inter esting....

i am your father- verrry....

indiana mike- we have so much to investigate !!!

will the wise- we have like 2 things

indiana mike- ***YOU have like 2 things

will the wise- what does that mean

indiana mike- nothing :-)

dust a nut- :-)

i am your father- :-)

will the wise- i dont understand and i am scared

indiana mike- : - )

will the wise- fuck u

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kjwrk ok if u read wheelbrough fic im SORRY ITS BEEN W E E K S but i got super busy w/ exams and holidays and now im sidetracked by Another fic im working on thtat is turning out to be longer than i expected but i Will Update Someday.. but kind of from here on out this wont be Completely canon with the wheelbrough fic bc i have thingz planned and idw spoil so some things will be different :-)
> 
> also how do yall feel abt max/el hmmm ?? :-)


	24. ants in my mouth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dust a nut- i miss when u 2 didnt like each other
> 
> madmax- i meannnn i never disliked el she just thought i was trying to steal her man
> 
> elven- i hadnt seen him in almost a Year and i was mad that you were so pretty
> 
> madmax- so you pushed me off a skateboard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres some bullying in this, some roasting a messy bich, :/
> 
> i was gonna try to include more but i am Sick and this is long enough and can u beleive i have written a 50k groupchat fic bc i cannot...
> 
> also... ants in the mouth,,, happened to me. it was the worst experience. youll understand soon.

 

 

_beverly is a nice human and I respect her_

8:15 pm

big dad ritch- r u a 14 on the pH scale

big dad ritch- because u r BASIC

eight nights at eddies- im a 14 on the out of 10 scale

big dad ritch- god u rite

eight nights at eddies- anyway im not basic. I think youre being pi :-\

ben the ignorant- pi…

eight nights at eddies- hes irrational

big dad ritch- that was a good one, u charged particle….

big dad ritch- i got my ion you now

eight nights at eddies- no reaction.

indiana mike- dang medicine seems salty…

big billiam- na

big billiam- i dont think so

indiana mike- he is sodium salty…

flat stanley- you 2 are being atoms…

flat stanley- making up everything…

flat stanley- medicine isnt salty, he and lil dickie are jealous they dont have chemsitry like me n mike

beverly hills chihuahua- damb medicine n lil dickie are boiling water now

beverly hills chihuahua- they will be mist :’-(

big dad ritch- not molecool >:-(

eight nights at eddies- yeah we have the strongest bond

ben the ignorant- im diene… XD

there's a bEe?- iodine hydrogen astatine europium

ben the ignorant- what

there's a bEe?- :/

ben the ignorant- I H At Eu

ben the ignorant- oh damn

ben the ignorant- i only say XD periodically :-(

beverly hills chihuahua- oxygen magnesium

indiana mike- O Mg

eight nights at eddies- im losing steam

beverly hills chihuahua- too many trials

there's a bEe?- i hypothesize that we end this

will the wise- dang all the god science puns argon :/

there's a bEe?- ok now its over

beverly hills chihuahua- that was hard

will the wise- it was impressive

will the wise- you guys are nitrogen erbium dysprosium

indiana mike- NERDS

indiana mike- rude, dont be a holmium

big billiam- how did u know that immediately

will the wise- we have been science nerds since middle school im sure michael has had the periodic table memorized since 5th grade

indiana mike- that, and context clues

indiana mike- im just smart :-)

will the wise- ugh

big billiam- my bf is so smart <3

indiana mike- <3

\--

_lil dickie does not eat dog poop_

11:39 am

beverly hills chihuahua- hello i am WEEPING

flat stanley- spill

beverly hills chihuahua- HSDJHBW

beverly hills chihuahua- EMILY

there's a bEe?- ooh what now

beverly hills chihuahua- SHE

beverly hills chihuahua- SHE

beverly hills chihuahua- IM SPEECHLESS

big dad ritch- omg what happened

beverly hills chihuahua- fuck

beverly hills chihuahua- on ig… she posted….

flat stanley- ooh lemme look

beverly hills chihuahua- you Will cry

there's a bEe?- send screenshots

there's a bEe?- i dont follow her nasty ass and shes on private

flat stanley- (screenshot of emilys selfies)

flat stanley- HHHOLY SHIT DID SHE RUB HER FACE IN D I R T

there's a bEe?- IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE CONTOUR

eight nights at eddies- HER E Y E B R O W S

eight nights at eddies- THEY ARE FULL ASS B LOC KS

ben the ignorant- be nice you guys

big billiam- oh my goeihfie i wanna be nice but i actually just screamed

there's a bEe?- hkfbvc we’ve talked abt her sharpie brows before but dang they at least had a Mild gradient!!!

there's a bEe?- these are blocks!!! No gradient!!! She straight up used a sharpie!!!

ben the ignorant- you g u y s are so mean

flat stanley- why is her hair dyed like that why is just the top red why does it look like shes going grey but with red hair

eight nights at eddies- it looks like she got some of those shitty extensions from claires and put them as the top layer of her hair

big dad ritch- i cannot take this im screamign does she go out in Public looking like this

flat stanley- do u see those fat acrylics

flat stanley- they cover her whole finger

flat stanley- honey they r supposed to cover your NAIL

beverly hills chihuahua- I KNOWWW

beverly hills chihuahua- ALSO have any of u been around her irl lately

big dad ritch- no why

beverly hills chihuahua- she has given up BATHING

beverly hills chihuahua- SHE WANTS TO BE ///FREE/// AND ///WITH THE EARTH///

eight nights at eddies- i literally just started crying

beverly hills chihuahua- SHE SMELLS LIKE WEED AND GROSS

beverly hills chihuahua- YOU KNOW WHAT!!! THAT COULD BE REAL DIRT! BECAUSE SHE DOESNT BA THE!!

there's a bEe?- im YELLING

beverly hills chihuahua- she refuses to shower and she doesnt BELIEVE IN BATHS

beverly hills chihuahua- SHE SAYS THAT BATHS W A S H AWAY HER AURA

ben the ignorant- i cant do it im gonna die oh my god is this bich okay does she need a hug or something

ben the ignorant- shes so MESSY OH MY GOD

eight nights at eddies- WASH AWAY HER AURA

big dad ritch- SHE DOESNT BELEIVE IN BATHS

big dad ritch- i need to lay down

beverly hills chihuahua- i have never met a messier bitch

beverly hills chihuahua- i truly cannot believe this

big billiam- unrelated but ty for not exposing my bf to our Bullying

beverly hills chihuahua- ofc i dont want him to think we r mean

ben the ignorant- but you are tho

ben the ignorant- i got wrapped up in everything and how she doesnt believe in Bathing

ben the ignorant- sorry emily

big dad ritch- emily is a Rat

ben the ignorant- i agree but i still want to be Kind

beverly hills chihuahua- i have the bestest bf he is so pure i love him

there's a bEe?- so cute

flat stanley- :’)

ben the ignorant- <3

\--

_beverly is a nice human and I respect her_

4:48 pm

there's a bEe?- im cryudng im going to ut off my tongue

flat stanley- lol why

there's a bEe?- I Am Going To Commit

will the wise- oh no what happened :( are you okay?

big dad ritch- mike wyd

there's a bEe?- im crying

eight nights at eddies- you already said that

there's a bEe?- BC I MEAN IT

there's a bEe?- (selfie of him, crying)

beverly hills chihuahua- MIKE OMG

indiana mike- lmaoo what happened

big billiam- lolll

there's a bEe?- DONT LAUGH AT MY PAIN

ben the ignorant- aw mike

will the wise- what happened!!!11

there's a bEe?- THERE I WAS !! IN MY KITCHEN!!!

there's a bEe?- MOVIN QUINOA FROM A TUPPERWARE TO A BOWL!!

big billiam- ew quinoa u fuckin veg

flat stanley- stfu wilhelm

there's a bEe?- AND I DROP A BIT I THINK

there's a bEe?- ONTO THE COUNTER SO ITS STILL GOOD

there's a bEe?- SO I G R A B IT

there's a bEe?- PUT IT IN MY MOUTH

there's a bEe?- I CANT IM CRYING

flat stanley- MIKE

big dad ritch- WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

there's a bEe?- IT EX P L OD E S WITH ANTS AND THERE ARE A MILLION LIVE ANTS IN MY MO U T H

will the wise- M I K EE NOOOO

there's a bEe?- AND THEY B ITE ME

there's a bEe?- I SPIT N THE SINK AND START CRYING BUT ITS TOO LATE

there's a bEe?- ANTS

there's a bEe?- IN MY MOUTH

there's a bEe?- 1 mouth removal please

will the wise- aw no poor mike that sucks bb

flat stanley- ^^ poor baby :(

there's a bEe?- now i am home alone crying on the kitchen floor, laying down

flat stanley- smh im otw

flat stanley- will do u wanna come too

will the wise- yes plz

will the wise- can u drive?

flat stanley- not legaly.

big dad ritch- he has a permit but not a license yet but he still drives by himself like a Rebel

will the wise- …. Are u a good driver

eight nights at eddies- yeah hes the safest

will the wise- cool come pick me up we have 2 save mike

flat stanley- otw!

flat stanley- hold on mike we r coming

there's a bEe?- ill still be crying on the kitchen floor just come on in

\--

_bitch what the whole fuck_

5:00 pm

beverly hills chihuahua- tea

ben the ignorant- honestly

indiana mike- did will call mike “bb”

big billiam- … yeah …

eight nights at eddies- wow.

\--

_death and destruction_

8:32 am

dust a nut- guess who is on the waaaaayyyy

big dad ritch- do you know da wae

eight nights at eddies- beep beep

will the wise- !!!!

indiana mike- yes!!!!!!

i am your father- 5 minutes and dustin is already being a pest

dust a nut- i am not a pest

elven- he is a pest

big dad ritch- whats he doing

big dad ritch- talking abt ir*n m*n?

beverly hills chihuahua- i thought we were letting that go smh

i am your father- yeah thats a banned topic so we dont get Hurt

elven- mhm.

flat stanley- el is a little scary and i love her

elven- :-)

flat stanley- i immediately take it back

madmax- take that taking back back el is the best

dust a nut- i miss when u 2 didnt like each other

madmax- i meannnn i never disliked el she just thought i was trying to steal her man

elven- i hadnt seen him in almost a Year and i was mad that you were so pretty

madmax- so you pushed me off a skateboard

elven- yes

beverly hills chihuahua- makes sense

madmax- please dont push me off another skateboard esp when we’re off the cliff

madmax- i know you havent seen mike in 2 months but id rather not die

there's a bEe?- you wouldnt die from going off the edge bc we jump it a lot but youd get all wet and cold

madmax- el plese no pushing

indiana mike- i dont think shell be as jealous now

indiana mike- if shes gonna push anyone itll be wilhelm

big billiam- el please dont push me

big billiam- i have a family

elven- im not pushing anyone smH

elven- its new years

eight nights at eddies- im gonna push lil dickie

eight nights at eddies- hope he dies

i am your father- what a solid relationship

big dad ritch- we r so in love <3

big dad ritch- hes actually going to push me tho he does it every year and then gets annoyed when i get a cold bc that water is Freezing

eight nights at eddies- its a tradition tho

big dad ritch- yeah thats why i let u

eight nights at eddies- :-)

dust a nut- does the quarry not freeze over

flat stanley- no its just rly cold

flat stanley- lil dickie once took me down with him

flat stanley- i didnt talk to him all of january

big dad ritch- i love u stanky

flat stanley- gay

ben the ignorant- thats gay

beverly hills chihuahua- we’re gay

big billiam- tru

i am your father- el just tried to kill max

indiana mike- el u Just said

madmax- hhhh

madmax- i ate the last oreo

eight nights at eddies- last?

dust a nut- hehe

elven- im going to kill dustin now

elven- he is a bad man

dust a nut- since fuckin when, eleanor. I gave u pudding.

indiana mike- omg eleanor

indiana mike- my swedish cousin

i am your father- poor mr clarke at the snow ball he thot u were kissing ur cousin

indiana mike- im sure he did Not bc she looked entirely different

indiana mike- nancys old clothes and a bad wig v actally getting dressed up for a dance

elven- does anyone want a picture of 13 year old mike at the winter dance

big billiam- yes please

elven- (polaroid karen took, mike very angery)

elven- frog

big dad ritch- MIIIKE YOURE SO CUTE

eight nights at eddies- he n lil dickie didnt look as similar in middle school

there's a bEe?- thats a whole bowl cut

will the wise- angry man

ben the ignorant- awww

beverly hills chihuahua- PRECIOUS

flat stanley- b o w l  c u t

big billiam- im weeping

big billiam- so small;..,.,

big billiam- best bf…

elven- he looked like a frog

indiana mike- STOP BULLYING ME

beverly hills chihuahua- he DOES LOOK LIK  A FROGJ IGFBVKJD

big dad ritch- hey…

eight nights at eddies- noo my bf loks like a frogggg

eight nights at eddies- its fine i love him anyway but :-\

indiana mike- IM NOT A FROG

ben the ignorant- harry styles is a frog

flat stanley- ^^

big dad ritch- damb u right

big dad ritch- thanks 4 the compliment :-)

big dad ritch- mike we look like harry its fine

dust a nut- why would mike care abt looking like 1d man

i am your father- harry styles is a frog?

flat stanley- yeah its what he looks like

ben the ignorant- its widely accepted as facts

ben the ignorant- so rly being called a frog is like being called harry styles

big dad ritch- does that mean when i say i want him to raw me, i am in fact asking to raw myself?

eight nights at eddies- i dont think thats how it works

madmax- well if u look like him and u and mike look the same ur really asking Mike to raw u :-/

indiana mike- I HAVE A BOYFRIEND

big billiam- IM RIGHT HERE

big billiam- lil dickie i dont care how much u giys lust over that man, i have accepted being second in mikes heart, but please, dont ask my bf to RAW YOU

elven- second in mikes heart to who?

indiana mike- hjhhhh

beverly hills chihuahua- oh wait

flat stanley- harry styles

flat stanley- im not embarassed to say we love 1d

ben the ignorant- oh shit

there's a bEe?- waiaait

i am your father- what?

i am your father- mike doesnt like 1d

will the wise- ^^^ ???

big billiam- fock

\--

_//huggles//_

8:56 am

indiana mike- GUYS

indiana mike- GAYS

indiana mike- FOLKS

indiana mike- YOURE EXPOSING ME

indiana mike- BEVERLY

indiana mike- BENNNN IUFS

indiana mike- S T A N K U

indiana mike- BILLHELM YOU BETREAYED ME

indiana mike- IM BEING EXPOSED RIGHT AS THEY R OTW

beverly hills chihuahua- FUCK

beverly hills chihuahua- i forgot thy didnt know

ben the ignorant- I TOTALLY FORGOT MIKE IM SOS SORRY

eight nights at eddies- what

big dad ritch- oh shit

big dad ritch- mikes friends dont know he is into one directiom

eight nights at eddies- well they do now

indiana mike- ffidoifvojsfn

indiana mike- im gonna b roasted so hard :-((

big billiam- FUCK BABY im sorry i forgot too :::::-(((

indiana mike- its fine theyd find out eventually but fbhdskcx

there's a bEe?- did will not even know?

flat stanley- dang good thing i didnt accidntally reveal it yesterday

indiana mike- nooo i didnt tell anyoneee bc we were too cool for 1dnkjs

big dad ritch- nobody is too cool for 1d

indiana mike- im aware of that Now but i was soo embarassed inmidle school

eight nights at eddies- well we wont let them make too much fun of u

there's a bEe?- youre safe with us

indiana mike- bless

indiana mike- i love u guys :’)

beverly hills chihuahua- we all love u too indiana :-) <3

\--

_death and destruction_

9:03 am

indiana mike- yeah i like 1d

madmax- lol what

indiana mike- you heard me

dust a nut- since when????

i am your father- dude when in the shit

indiana mike- since like 6th grade dude

i am your father- WHAT

dust a nut- WHAT THE F

will the wise- holy shit

elven- why didnt you say

indiana mike- idk man i just didnt

will the wise- this is Wild i did not expect that

dust a nut- dang me neither

flat stanley- me lil dickie and ben like them too

flat stanley- its fun

will the wise- how did these guys know!>!??!?!!?

big dad ritch- it was an accident i think

big dad ritch- we mentioned our love and he was SHook

eight nights at eddies- they have a whole separate gc bc if we didnt control them theyd talk abt nothing else

flat stanley- its true :/

ben the ignorant- i just love them sm

beverly hills chihuahua- we like to tease them but nothing serious

big billiam- all of us are dating someone who lkes 1d thats wild

big dad ritch- it was a good sign for wilhelm and indianas relationhip when mike said he liked them

flat stanley- its even now

elven- wow

madmax- i support u, michael

dust a nut- they have some bops

i am your father- yeah plus ive heard some stuff the 1d people have done alone and its solid

indiana mike- wow i love my friends

will the wise- :)

madmax- :-)

elven- we love you too mike

i am your father- love u bro but this does not mean i wont make fun of u

indiana mike- sigh

dust a nut- yeah u had a secret love for a boyband for like 6 years

dust a nut- nerd

indiana mike- you like ir*n m*n dont go around calling people NERDS

beverly hills chihuahua- oh god

\--

_private message - big dad ritch and eight nights at eddies_

2:48 pm

big dad ritch- are you okay with so many people being here soon?

eight nights at eddies- yeah?

eight nights at eddies- why wouldnt i be

big dad ritch- well i know youre anxious with new people and stuff i just wanted to make sure

big dad ritch- <3

eight nights at eddies- aw baby

eight nights at eddies- yeah im surprisingly not very nervous about them

eight nights at eddies- we’ve talked? And mike likes them all? Will too? So i think itll be fine

big dad ritch- im excited to meet max she seems wild

eight nights at eddies- i think el sounds fun

eight nights at eddies- itll be fine!

big dad ritch- ik pushing me off the cliff is a tradition but maybe we should like hold off on it?

eight nights at eddies- why

big dad ritch- well remember when we first said where we had new years?

big dad ritch- they got all freaked out

big dad ritch- i feel like something happened at a cliff or a quarry or w/e

eight nights at eddies- oh yeah youre right

eight nights at eddies- yeah i can talk to them beforehand

eight nights at eddies- we could ask mike??

big dad ritch- ehh i dont wanna pryy…

eight nights at eddies- come on, we should know if we can do it or not

big dad ritch- aight ill text the gc

\--

_bill is #1_

2:54 pm

big dad ritch- hey michael

indiana mike- yes?

eight nights at eddies- so we said its tradition for me to try to kill lil dickie on new years

indiana mike- uhh

big dad ritch- he pushes me off a cliff into very cold water

indiana mike- oh right

indiana mike- what about it

eight nights at eddies- well we noticed that your friends seemed uncomfortable with the thought of a quarry??

big dad ritch- and we wanted to know if itd be alright to still do that tradition

indiana mike- firstable you just finished each others sentence that was so cute

indiana mike- secondable… dustin and el dont rly like cliffs because there was this time

indiana mike- i havent told bill this and youll prob be confused but

eight nights at eddies- we’ll believe a lot

indiana mike- well this bully troy had dustin and a Knife and was all

indiana mike- mike bettr jump off or im gonna cut out dustins teeth

big dad ritch- oh god

indiana mike- but the fall in hawkins is muuuch longer so ittd kill me

indiana mike- but i jumped anyway

eight nights at eddies- no!

indiana mike- but el saved me and then beat them up and they were both really shaken

indiana mike- and when they told the others they dont like to be near edges like that because its a good opportunity for Mean

big dad ritch- we understand :(

indiana mike- i think that if its playful and fun tho they wont get upset

indiana mike- el might try to save lil dickie but i’ll stop her lol

big dad ritch- oh thank you

eight nights at eddies- nice

eight nights at eddies- im glad she saved you <3

indiana mike- thanks you guys <3

indiana mike- im gonna go tell bill so he knows

eight nights at eddies- good

big dad ritch- not to be gross but you 2 are precious im so glad bill found tru love

indiana mike- ehfga

indiana mike- love… i love bill so much im so nervous to tell him

big dad ritch- !!!!!!!

eight nights at eddies- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

eight nights at eddies- he loves u

big dad ritch- ^^

indiana mike- i think i’ll tell him on new years eve right before its 2018, so its the last the=ing he ehars in 2017

big dad ritch- that is precios

eight nights at eddies- yes do that

indiana mike- nice

big dad ritch- nice

\--

_private message - big dad ritch and eight nights at eddies_

3:01 pm

eight nights at eddies- seeing them in all that love is so pure

eight nights at eddies- i love you richie tozier <3

big dad ritch- i love You eddie kaspbrak <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new years wwill happen eventually i swear we'll get there...
> 
> also! me n some friends made a losers/party ask blog and here is is --> https://castle-losersclub.tumblr.com/ <\-- and u should go follow and send in asks!! Its rly fun and we r all diff characters (i am beverly, you should ask her many questions ;-) ) and its not in this universe but there’s reddie and benverly and wheelbrough so check it out!


	25. DONT GET UR HOPES UP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> indiana mike- so you ARE gonna tell him
> 
> indiana mike- when
> 
> indiana mike- how
> 
> indiana mike- where
> 
> indiana mike- am i sure u 2 are good enough for him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DONT THINK THIS ISGONNA BE ANY GOOD this has been sitting in my docs for like months now and im abt to go 2 camp for 4 week and ive moved on frm it/st and also like 3 fandoms since so nothing is gonna pop up in my brain but take this trash and read it i am sorry idr how to write any of these people

_ private message - big billiam and indiana mike _

 

indiana mike- hjdbgajn

indiana mike- bill! bill! come over and ravish me!

indiana mike- i need you bill, i need you NNOW!!

big billiam- uhh

indiana mike- please baby

big billiam- are u ok???

big billiam- ben and eddie are at my house rn i dont wanna abandon them but if u rly need me??

indiana mike- i always need you ;-)

big billiam- what

indiana mike- FINE if u wont come over im leaving you for dustin

indiana mike- hes so hot and sexy and amazing and has sparkling eyes

big billiam- oh really

indiana mike- YES DUSTIN IS MY NEW DADDY

indiana mike- BYE BILDFVISZJFN

indiana mike- hello bill this is el now i am very sorry

indiana mike- those were all lucas and dustin. max and will have locked mike in the bathroom and stole his phone.

big billiam- i figured dsfjnskjf

big billiam- tell them to let my bf out and give him his phone back

indiana mike- i will.

big billiam- you guys have been here 1 day already attacking him smh

indiana mike- hi bill its mike!!! :) they finally let me out of the bathroom!!!!!

big billiam- hi will

indiana mike- wtf how did you know

big billiam- the smiley face

indiana mike- crap

indiana mike- i refuse to use the ugly scary nose tho

big billiam- give my boyfriend his phOne back

big billiam- i miss him

indiana mike- gay

indiana mike- im not letting the pansy out he was being all emo 

indiana mike- so we trapped him :-)

big billiam- is this max

indiana mike- yes

big billiam- cool i recognized u from the bullying

big billiam- mikes not a pansy

big billiam- why was he emo tho

indiana mike- ehh thats just how he is

big billiam- god u rite <<<<3333 hes so emo

indiana mike- GAY

indiana mike- ok we’re letting him out el is threatening to kill someone or shatter the door if we dont release him ugh

big billiam- ...shatter the door?

indiana mike- uhhh

indiana mike- she lifts

big billiam-.. alrighty then

\--

_ death and destruction _

 

big dad ritch- take a closer look at that snout!

eight nights at eddies- AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

big dad ritch- s i n g

eight nights at eddies- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  AAAAA

big dad ritch- sing for me

eight nights at eddies- AAAAAAAAAAA AAA

big dad ritch- sing my angel of music

eight nights at eddies- AAAAAAAAAAAA

eight nights at eddies- AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

eight nights at eddies- AAAAAAAA

big dad ritch- SING FOR ME

eight nights at eddies- AAA A A A A A

big dad ritch- anyway what time are u guys coming over

big billiam- may i ask

eight nights at eddies- no you may not

big billiam- why

big billiam- ouch

indiana mike- u 2…..

elven- i am afraid

madmax- its a

madmax- u know i cant even explain it sorry

ben the ignorant- a meme

flat stanley- mouse shrew

elven- hm

dust a nut- eyyyyy phantom

i am your father- i hate this

beverly hills chihuahua- smh

will the wise- wow

indiana mike- hm

indiana mike- anyway wilhelm is scooping me and my people minus will at 8

big dad ritch- gucci

big dad ritch- we’ll be there

big dad ritch- i’ll have my many towels and space heater

eight nights at eddies- >:-)

flat stanley- william come over now so we can cook

will the wise- cool cool

flat stanley- can u pick me up :)

will the wise- of course!! :)

there's a bEe?- see u two soon <3

madmax- disgusting

there's a bEe?- :(

elven- max don’t be rude :-(

madmax- fine but just 4 u

\--

 

_ //huggles// _

 

big dad ritch- hey lads

eight nights at eddies- lads :-)

big billiam- laddies

indiana mike- th lads

beverly hills chihuahua- you lad boys

ben the ignorant- lads,

there's a bEe?- what

flat stanley- the fuck

big dad ritch- are yall having ur… threesome yet?

there's a bEe?- WHAT

flat stanley- THE FUCK

eight nights at eddies- COOKING threesome

eight nights at eddies- be normal plz @lil dickie

big dad ritch- yes… “cooking” threesome

flat stanley- yal better chill

there's a bEe?- he could see our phones

there's a bEe?- this isnt how i wanna be exposed

flat stanley- yeah we wanna use our words

indiana mike- so you ARE gonna tell him

indiana mike- when

indiana mike- how

indiana mike- where

indiana mike- am i sure u 2 are good enough for him

indiana mike- maybe i shuld tell him to like someone else

flat stanley- damn mike 

big billiam- where’d that come from

indiana mike- will is my bestest friend if u 2 hurt him i will kill u

there's a bEe?- i dont plan on hurting him

ben the ignorant- but what if u accidentslly hurt him… we’d have to kill u

flat stanley- ben!!!!

beverly hills chihuahua- benjamin is correct….

beverly hills chihuahua- stanky, mike,,, if u hurt little will

beverly hills chihuahua- bye

flat stanley- bev!!!!!!!

there’s a bEe?-- damn we’ve known each other all this time and ur gonna love will more

beverly hills chihuahua- i cant help it he is so small and i love him

beverly hills chihuahua- he’s my work bff there is something so special about work bffs

indiana mike- i need a jpb

indiana mike- off topic i was threatening u guys 

indiana mike- fuck u if will is ever sad

big billiam- you tell em baby

flat stanley- sop hating us:(

there's a bEe?- anyway!! We’re gonna go cook with william

there's a bEe?- hope i dont.. Accidentally… spit in any food….

big dad ritch- noooo

eight nights at eddies- :-(

there's a bEe?- ;)

\--

 

_ death and destruction _

 

dust a nut- NO WE’RE NOT

madmax- we are lost

indiana mike- what just happened

madmax- dustins text went thru first

  
dust a nut- WE ARENT LOST DONT LISTEN TO MAXINE

madmax- DONT CALL ME MAXINE

madmax- anyway

madmax- we are lost

indiana mike- i should have taken yall

i am your father- we’re very lost

elven- i can find the way

indiana mike- here i’ll send a quick pic of our setup

indiana mike- (quick pic of their setuup)

indiana mike- you got everything?

i am your father- she stole my bandana :-(

madmax- we’ll be unlost soon

big dad ritch- is el rly good at findng places thru very vague pictures

flat stanley- something to do w the sun?

elven- yes the

elven- sun

indiana mike- shes smart

big billiam- hm

indiana mike- … youre smarter

big billiam- ty

dust a nut- ok we’re still not lost and on the move

indiana mike- shoulda stuck w the plan

i am your father- it was u who deviated from the plan

i am your father- mike: me n wilhelm will take u guys!!

i am your father- also mike: im gonna leave my friends at my house to go smash my bf and make them find their way to a remote are of the forest with little intruction

big dad ritch- get fucked wheeler

indiana mike- ;-)

will the wise- EW

indiana mike- im KIIDing i just went to hang out w wilhelm and bff georgie and the parents

indiana mike- its nye

madmax- :-0 is it new years eve!!!1!1!1

madmax- i didnt realize!!!!!!!!!!!

indiana mike- dont take that tone with me young ladye

madmax- sorry dad

big billiam- that makes me ur dad too

madmax- daddy ;-)

big billiam- hhhhhhew

elven- ew

there's a bEe?- no thanks

indiana mike- it is a no from me 

indiana mike- only i may

big billiam- im gonna stop u there

indiana mike- i am stopped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> going thru and adding names was a blast from the mf past i'd always change wheeler to indiana mike first then have to change it back so hanlon could become bE?
> 
> it's 2 am

**Author's Note:**

> this is a mess. if you feel like you recognize a text yo probably do i based many conversations off stuff from the internet
> 
> if you have any ideas i will use them so comment !!
> 
> tumblr- toes-ier.tumblr.com


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